Friday, December 7, 2007

The Coup De Grâce

This has nothing to do with sports unless you count the fact Gordon Ramsey used to play football in Scotland. If you haven't seen The F Word on BBC America, you should check it out. Gordon Ramsey lets himself go more than he does on Hell's Kitchen.

In this clip, he goes up against James May from Top Gear. Also an excellent show on BBC America. If you're at work, you should probably turn down the volume as F bombs fly left and right.

Barry Bonds Is Channeling Richard Nixon

Maybe someone hasn't told Barry Bonds anything about an indictment but he seems to think he's playing baseball next season.

Bonds' agent Jeff Borris (who must be the off-brand Boras) is damn determined to get his 10% next season.

"He's training currently and he'd like to come back in 2008 to put a World Series ring on his finger," Bonds' agent, Jeff Borris, told "Barry definitely wants to continue playing. So I'm actively pursuing jobs for him from teams that are committed to winning."
This is what it must have been like in the White House when Nixon finally released the tapes that showed he had knowledge of the Watergate cover up. What the problem is?

Who's going to be the one to tell Bonds that no team wants to go near him? He's more radioactive than Chernobyl right now. I guess Borris is Bonds' St. Clair.

It's too bad because he actually would help some AL team. He should pull a Rickey Henderson. Can you see him and Rickey on the same team? They could call Darryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden and Darren Daulton to join forces and run the Atlantic League.

Photo courtesy of The Onion.

The Greatest Spike Of All Time

Here's some video of Brett Favre, Dorsey Levins, LeRoy Butler and Mark Chmura discussing endzone dances.

You should have seen me spike that high school girl in my hot tub. I can't dance but you betcha I can sure get rapey!

Droppin' Bombs Over Lima

They don't call Claudio Pizarro the Andean Bomber for nothing. Allow the Deuce to congratulate the Chelsea striker on finally scoring. Too bad it wasn't on the pitch or for Chelsea.

Pizarro, captain of the Peruvian national team, was busted for having an orgy with several of his teammates and some girls a few nights before getting destroyed 5-1 by Ecuador in a World Cup qualifier.

Pizarro and his teammates brought the women back to their hotel, donkey punched and drank all night. I can see it now. The scene looked like something from the Gin and Juice video except the players were wearing their soccer uniforms and spraying the women down with bottles of pisco. Pisco and sour, yeah I'm fucked up now. Laid back...

Who Hate Who In The What Now

Last week, Google released its list of top searches for 2007 in the UK. The usual suspects such as television personalities, models, beer, etc. were at the top. Among the top phrases were "I love movies" and "I love techno". None of this especially techno should come as a shock.

The hate list wasn't topped by "I hate food that's not boiled" or "I hate hair that isn't frosted". "I hate Ronaldo" was the top hate phrase. That would be Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo. Apparently the British hate him more than school or men in general. I can appreciate hatred of the greatest diver since Robert Pires but there are so many better things to hate like Robbie Savage, Liverpool and the Spice Girls.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Roger Staubach Loves Sex

Roger Staubach loves sex so much, he will tell it to you right to your face. He will say it just like he told this interviewer in 1975. He says he likes it just as much as yea whatever. I guess he was a little jealous of all the attention Joe got for his love of the ladies. Its ok Rog, it is ok. You like sex. Good. Good for you man.

NEW T SHIRT: Elijah Dukes

That's right, Elijah Dukes is a Washington National, so it is only fitting that the Deuce welcomes him to town by giving him his own, brand new T shirt in Nationals navy blue. Its the "You Dead Dawg" t-shirt, in scary murderous font. Wear your Elijah T-shirt with pride and welcome the young man to DC. We need more upstanding citizens like this whippersnapper and there is no better way to say "I support this move by the National's management" by putting on a shirt with Elijah's most infamous quote. Get buying guys and gals! (Yes, it is available in ladies sizes.) You can click any of these links or over there on the left in the Deuce t-shirt box.

Sean Taylor Leads Pro Bowl Balloting

As of November 13th, Sean Taylor had 187,064 fan votes which leads all NFC free safeties in ballots cast. The way he was playing this season, he was well on the way to his 2nd pro bowl appearance (last year he was an alternate) but it is great that in the light of the recent tragedy, people are still thinking of him and wishing he was here. Voting continues until December 11th so cast a vote if you haven't already. Keep the memory of Sean Taylor alive.

NFL Gives Verizon Fios Users Extras

If you were one of the lucky 1.5 million households who subscribe to the Verizon Fios television & internet services then you can now participate in a testing of some new broadcasting features for watching NFL games. The NFL is testing the ability of home users to control the game's camera angles that they are watching on their NFL Network.

Verizon subscribers get the NFL Network as part of their basic package (unlike Comcast & Time Warner) and can change camera angles from the main feed to the sideline cam, the end zone cam, and the cable cam hovering above the field with their new Game Extra service. There is also a "quad" view showing the main feed and 3 alternate angles at once. You can even change the camera during commercial breaks so you can see what is going on on the field while the rest of America is watching commercials.

Yahoo Sports tested out the service last week and had this to say:

The ability to switch camera angles proved less useful than it sounds. While the sideline cam is, of course, located on the sideline, it does not always follow the action from the same angle. This is the actual camera used by the NFL Network, so sometimes the operator is zooming in on a particular player or the huddle or a coach on the bench to get a certain shot.

Indeed, the most entertaining part of the alternate camera angles was often the voyeuristic sense of watching close-ups of players preparing to line up or talking between snaps, images rarely seen during telecasts.

The cable cam consistently offered the most interesting angles, including a great close-up during a commercial of medical staff examining Packers quarterback Brett Favre after he injured his arm in the second quarter.

Pretty damn cool really. Too bad only 1.5 million people can use it. I would expect that Direct TV is going to get this service at some point, and hopefully if the NFL, Comcast and TWC can get their acts together and make peace we can all take advantage of this.

From Yahoo!

Redskins Need To Sign McGreggor

Just look at McGreggor's stopping power, coming up in the clutch right when the Redskins needed it. After blowing five 4th quarter leads, we could use McGreggor this year to come through in the clutch when we need it. Where is McGreggor?!?! God, I love these commercials. I don't even have a Wii but i'd buy one just because of McGreggor.

Compare: Knievel's Injuries And McNair's Injuries

Here's a look at Evel Knievel's injuries he sustained during his glorious career as the world's greatest daredevil. Pretty bad huh? For some reason this reminded me of this old Steve McNair injury roundup photo. Look at them compared to Steve McNair's injuries sustained through 2005, its amazing what people put themselves through. Evel looks to have broken every bone in his body and McNair looks to have bruised and sprained every muscle in his body. McNair is quite the daredevil himself. No wonder he's done as a QB.

New Sport: Free Boarding

Snowboards on wheels, going down urban "mountains" other words, skateboarding down big hills. Pretentious "indie" free boarders think this is the next wave of skateboarding. Watch and yell at the monitor like I did at these d-bags.

From Brightcove

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Brett Favre Manlovefest Continues

Sports Illustrated has named Brett Favre their Sportsman of the Year and that is kind of a big deal. Forget that he, right now, isn't the best player in his sport he isn't even the best player at his position in his sport or even the greatest player in all sports right now. SI does counter all of that line of thinking because being the Sportsman of the Year does not mean you have to be the best in all of sports or even the best at your position in your just have to generally a good guy (ie: not arrested recently), who conquered some adversity (ie: drugs and alcohol), sorta plays the game right (ie: gunslingin'), and hasn't done anything to spurn the media's ever-loving eyes (ie: talks to them and gives them quotes).

I guess I can accept it, it just never ceases to amaze me how far the media will kiss the ass of the "gunslinging" quarterback of Green Bay. Honestly, this man can do no wrong. He could beat his wife and the press would say:

"Sure he beat his wife, but thats just Brett Favre. Brett Favre just doesn't take any guff from no one, including his wife. Brett Favre doesn't follow the rules, Brett Favre makes the rules. Brett Favre made all the right hits too, right in the kidney and stomach so not to bruise her face. Brett Favre knows a pretty face when he sees one and wants to keep it that way. Brett Favre's wife beating technique is unorthodox, but it really gets the job done. If you're gonna have to beat your wife, you can't ask for a better wife beater than Brett Favre."

So the editors at SI believe there is no better sportsman than Favre. No, not Brady, no not David Ortiz, no not the golden boy Tony Romo, no not...well it goes on like that really. I believe there must be better sportsman out there this season in all the realm of sports. Hopefully Deadspin's SHOTY awards might find a more worthy contender.

2 Girls + 1 Boat

What do you get when you put two MILFs in a boat, naked, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean? Why you get two sexy participants in the Atlantic Rowing Race of 2007! Rachel Smith and Lin Griesel, both of Chester, England left La Gomera, in the Canary Islands yesterday and are attempting to break the current British women’s record for rowing across the Atlantic Ocean...but they're doing it in style, they're gonna do it naked. Smith says:

It’s recommended that you do row naked for health and hygiene reasons. If you get salt water on your clothes it can rub quite badly - that’s the real reason people row naked.

Why are they participating in this crazy event? They want to raise £100,000 for breast cancer research. Makes sense to me. The Deuce whole heartedly supports this event and we hope these sexy cougars accomplish their goals. If you want to donate, go to the Atlantic Rowing Challenge website and help these lassies out.

From Liverpool Daily Post

Weirdest BASE Jump I've Seen

This guy ski jumped off of the top of the Silver Legacy Casino in Reno turning it into a ski-BASE jump. Sounds odd, and it is, but the reason I am posting it is because this is some crazy first person video of the jump. I kinda felt a little dizzy watching it. It actually is a bit intense watching this guy plummet to the ground. I prefer to keep my feet on the ground, so I'll leave the building ski jumping to these future Darwin Award winners.