Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Jason Campbell Is Sensitive

I am not sure if anyone noticed this from the Washington Post yesterday, but apparently, Jason Campbell, quarterback for the Washington Redskins, is a crier! That's right, the quarterback of the future for the Redskins actually cried after his team's loss to the Cowboys on Sunday.

Campbell cried after Sunday's loss, angry with himself for a late-game interception on what overall was his best performance in the NFL. "It's tough, we keep losing all these close games and we're playing so hard as a team," he said. "You're fighting your hearts out and it seems like things don't go our way towards the end of games"

What the hell is that? Who the hell is Campbell, Dick Vermil? Norv Turner? Now, I am as big a fan as anyone of Jason Campbell, I think he's the quarterback that DC has been waiting decades for, but come on son, THERE IS NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL! You lost the game, you made some bad passes, your defense collapsed against a superior opponent in the 4th quarter, your coach made dubious calls...BUT DONT YOU DARE CRY ABOUT A LOSS??

Some people will say "At least he cares that much to actually cry," but I say bullshit, you don't inspire your fellow football players by crying, you make them pity you. I didn't see Romo crying after he botched a snap and hold on a field goal in the playoffs? I am rooting for you Jason, but grow a pair, if you want to take the next leap to greatness in the NFL, the first step is to stop your crying and just make some plays in the 4th quarter.

Maybe Jason just watched too much Rosie Grier in his youth:

From Washington Post

Random Video of Horrific Violence: Gymnast Edition

Needless to say, she did not stick the landing. It's pretty bad to watch, her screams of agony are worse though. Sheesh...

Vince Young's Girl Can Party With Us Anytime

Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young gets injured a lot and those injuries require a lot of pain management to get through a game. Likewise, Candice Young Johnson, Vince Young's fiancée, has found her own way to deal with whatever pain she's dealing with...she goes out partying at "get high" lounges while her man plays the game and pays the bills. Here's what a tipster at said about his encounter with Ms. Young.

This past weekend in Denver, Vince Young's [fianc�e] and her entourage were spotted at a 'get high lounge.' They were in the VIP area and she was acting funny saying that all the "little people" should get out of her section.

She sounds like she is pure class to us, Vince. Way to be playa.

Check out a picture of her taken while smoking...something.

Shamelessly ripped from

More on Ravens/Browns Crazy Finish

Here's some footage from Baltimore's NBC 11 where their sportscaster was interviewing Matt Stover after what they thought was the end of the game, but luckily Cleveland QB Derek Anderson was there to tell them "WE GOT OVERTIME FELLAS!". Not funny really, but still goes to show the utter confusion that was taking place at the end of regulation for that game. What a clusterfuck...

Just so's ya know, our boy WCK at 100% Injury Rate was all over this as well.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Put Your Hands Up For Dirk Kuyt

Now run 'em! Gimme the loot! What can we say about another Liverpool player's house getting robbed? Tommy's come a long way since Trainspotting. He's gotten off the bad stuff and managed to become the hardest working player for Liverpool. Maybe his hard work will pay off on the field and he'll actually score.

His hard work has paid dividends off the field. Too bad it's paying off for someone else. Kuyt became the latest Liverpool player to be robbed while away doing his job. Thieves (we're assuming Liverpool fans) robbed his home while he was away on international duty last Thursday. It's unclear what was taken at the time besides his dignity and sense of well-being.

Fellow support group members/victims include Peter Crouch, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina and Jerzy Dudek. It appears the more you suck, the safer you are at Liverpool. The lesson is never try. Just ask former Liverpool players Gabriel Paletta and Djibril Cisse.

Michael Jordan's Trying to Put Platinum Eyebrows On These Hoes

Michael Jordan has way too much money. He's the colonel of the muthafuckin' tank. I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought Master P’s platinum tank from the Make ‘Em Say Uhh video. I'm sure Percy needs the money for his brother's bail or the And 1 tour bus that's stuck outside of Biloxi.

Speaking of Cash Money (M period Fresh comma, your wife is my baby mama) and No Limit, why hasn’t anyone suggested a merger? I’m sure the FTC, FCC, FICA or Freddie Foxx wouldn’t have a problem with these corporations combining forces like the Constructicons, Construda or whatever. There would be so much flossin’, there wouldn’t be a single cavity in Louisiana. I digress.

You know who else is impressed by MJ's holdings besides his wife? Charles Barkley.

"You have to look at it two ways," Barkley, now an analyst for TNT, said. " 'Wow, that's a lot of money. Wow, that's a lot of money.' Then the second way, 'Damn, Michael's got a lot of money.' … Personally I would have to have somebody else write the check. You've got to be so [ticked] to write that check."

Chimp Rage brought you the $168 million story last Monday. It doesn't matter how you look at it. That's a shitload of money. Sir Charles is probably thinking about all the bets he could throw down with that stash. Think how great it would be to roll with him and all that money. You could think of any bet and actually make it happen.

"I wonder if Kelly Osborne could eat a snow leopard before it eats her?"
"Sheeeit, only one way to find out! To the A380!"

There's no question Sir Charles would end up going out like Steve Fossett. It would probably be on a quest in Australia to find out how many Tasmanian Devils it would take to bring down Oliver Miller.

The City of Boston Just Collectively Orgasmed

A 1918 World Series ball with 15 signatures on it, including Babe Ruth's, has gone up for auction on Ebay with a starting bid of $870,000. I wonder if Bill Simmons is liquidating all of his assets as we speak to win this auction? Word on the street is that Mark Ecko is interested and will destroy it once he gets his grubby hands on it. This will be an interesting auction to watch and see if anyone actually bids on it.

Link to Ebay Auction

This Makes The Super Bowl Shuffle Look Like Thriller

The Super Bowl Shuffle is VMA worthy compared to this 85 Bears disaster. This is like the Miami game of that season. Damn it's strange to think of Miami beating a good team let along winning a game.

Ray Kroc was one prescient burger flipper. This commercial is clearly a warning. If given the choice between letting Iran have nukes and allowing Payton Manning to sing or dance in a commercial, I'm not sure which one I'd choose.

Thanks to Idiotarod team member Moneyshot for the find.

Ex-Cowboy/Charger Wants Microsoft To Stop Being Gay

Kenneth Hutcherson, former linebacker for the Cowboys and Chargers and current megachurch pastor of the Antioch Bible Church, wants his followers to buy Microsoft stock and vote down their homosexual friendly practices and policies. Hutcherson actually is vowing to take over Microsoft with new shareholders to vote against the company's policy of advancing gay rights. From the Telegraph UK:

"There are 256 Fortune 500 companies alone pouring millions upon millions of dollars into pushing the homosexual agenda,"

Hutcherson recently freaked out a bunch of rich people at a Microsoft shareholder's meeting (video to follow) stating that he is "one of the worst nightmares that this corporation can have. [He is] a black man, with a righteous cause, with a great deal and a whole host of powerful white people behind [himself]."

This right here, is one crazy motherfucker. You know he's crazy when he thinks that powerful white people really wanna help him. (ZING!) Anyway, methinks Kenny is trying too hard here. Perhaps he is trying to cover up something of his past? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time some super religious, megachurch leader who was seriously against homosexuality didn't get called out as being a little on the festive side themselves?

The Deuce doesn't want to get too political, but really, what is the big deal and how on earth does he think he can amass the necessary stock holdings to actually be able to influence any of Microsoft's policies? Its really quite far fetched. And what's next after this? Next thing you know we'll have bible-thumpers parading about being angry about a website that is based on one giant shit joke...oh wait, that is bound to happen now.

Shamelessly ripped from Gizmodo via Telegraph UK

NFL Streaker Caught on Film

Hilarious video from the Burly Sports peoples. This guy got onto the field during the Giants/Dolphins game in London and just let it all fly, nearly buck naked. A bit NSFW but there's no real nudity, just pure hilarity.

Time To Round Up A Posse Comitatus

Yeah I know it’s the wrong movie but Jackie Gleason’s fat and dead so I think I’m in the clear unless Jackie Mason wants to make Caddyshack III. Zing!

We got ourselves another Cannonball Run. The lead isn’t Burt Reynolds but a guy of German descent named Alex Roy who just completed a cross-country drive across 13 states in 31 hours and 4 minutes. It's kind of like Roadhouse 2. It just isn't the same without Jack Dalton.

Roy Boy started in New York and finished in Santa Monica. He covered a distance of 2794 miles and averaged 95 miles an hour. At times he reached 160 mph. He beat the record by over an hour.

His blue BMW was named “Team Polizei” which we just find endearing. We assume his clothing was designed by Hugo Boss. A better car would have been a brown BMW with a sidecar.

Take it back to the old school, playboy.

Monday, November 19, 2007


Maurice Jones Drew flat out leveled Shawne Merriman during Jacksonville's romp over the Chargers on Sunday and if you missed it, check it out. This guy is like 5'10 and just destroys the "formerly" 'roided up Merriman. That kid's got heart. Watch it quick before the NFL takes it down.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Clown Converts To Judaism And Gets A Knighthood

What the hell can you say? As a youth soccer coach from Tenneessee said today, Steve McClaren better be going to temple tonight. England have no business still being in contention for a place in Euro 2008 but somehow they're still in the hunt. Israel pulled off an upset and defeated Russia 2-1 with an injury time goal by Omer Golan. The result eliminated Russia and only requires England to get one point from their match with Croatia on Wednesday to advance to next year's finals. Hebrew Nationals and He'brews all around.

England still live in spite of McClown's best effort to sabotage any chance England had of winning this Wednesday. England played a friendly against Austria on Friday and Michael Owen started even though the squad's striker situation was precarious. Like the lame horse he is, Owen went down and is out for Wednesday's crucial match. His absence leaves the one and only Crouchigol as the lone option.

If England wins, the papers will start screaming about an England win next summer and glory for the queen. McClown will get a knighthood even before the tournament along with a contract extension until 2491.

In other Euro 2008 news, Italy slid through to the finals on a dodgy call as they beat a resilient Scotland 2-1. I was pulling for a Scotland win to go along with a Russian win. It would have been great to see the Scots win and England go out. The Scots would never let them live it down. However, a few English friends pointed out that an England win on Wednesday means less hooligans in London next summer so it's a must-win.

Here are your other results.

Finland 2 - Azerbaijan 1
Spain 3 - Sweden 0
Northern Ireland/Fulham 1 - Denmark 0 (That's gotta hurt, Vilhelm)
Poland 2 - Belgium 1
Portugal 1 - Armenia 0 (Allegations of a massacre are highly exaggerated)
Greece 5 - Malta 0
Turkey 2 - Norway 0
Lithuania 2 - Ukraine 0
Wales 2 - Ireland 2
Germany 4 - Cyprus 0
Moldova 3 - Hungary 0
Czech Republic 3 - Slovakia 1
Macedonia 2 - Croatia 0
Latvia 4 - Liechtenstein 0
Bulgaria 1 - Romania 0
Albania 2 - Belarus 4 (Albania did win most number of stolen watches)
Netherlands 1 - Luxembourg 0