Saturday, September 8, 2007

Trick Play Of The Day

Video courtesy of Sports Bro

Friday, September 7, 2007

Impotence And The One Diabetes

It just keeps getting better for Dallas Cowboys quarterback coach Wade Wilson. First he gets nailed for using HGH. The NFL suspended him for five games and fined him $100,000. If that wasn't bad enough, he just had his excuse blown open by the media.

Wilson claimed that he was taking the HGH to deal with diabetes and "improve the quality of his life". Apparently quality of life meant impotence and not just diabetes. Wilson said he was trying to get around the subject.

Wilson came up in the Albany County DA's investigation into anti-aging clinics, pharmacies and doctors. These places signed prescriptions for unseen patients. "Wilson said he chose that alternative because he knew his regular doctors probably wouldn't approve the treatment." Did he choose the Evan Fields delivery method?

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said Wilson would have been fine if he obtained a proper prescription. Why couldn't he have gotten a prescription for Levitra which I'm sure he could have gotten by the truckload from the NFL?

It is still unclear why the NFL would suspend and fine Wilson. It's not like HGH would have made him a better coach. If that was the case, think of what it could have done for Rich Kotite and Richie Pettibon. Norv Turner would actually stand a chance. Marty Schottenheimer would actually make it to a Super Bowl. Matt Millen would ... well HGH can't do everything.

Quote Of The Day

"No one can ever remember a bigger upset. I know in Columbus it's the biggest selling shirt and everywhere else it's, 'Ha-ha, hee-hee.' This might sound funny, but Appalachian State sounds like a funny name, and it's a name people can kind of laugh at, so everybody is going, 'Hee, hee.'"

-- former Michigan quarterback John Wangler.

Ironing Board Meets Face

Just because we like to watch violence, doesn't necessarily mean we are violent people. So watch the violence without guilt.

Show Your Strong Pimp Hand

Sure these are from 2005, but today's news is spotty unless you want to talk about the rout of a game that was on NBC last night. Instead, I'm going to give you a compilation of Hot 97's Slapfest '05. Great idea for a radio stunt, have 2 people stand face to face and take turns smacking the shit out of each other, the winner gets $5,000. You don't really get classier than this, if you've never seen them, enjoy, if you have...then read something else on here dammit! Its FRIDAY, BITCHAZZ!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Return Of The Wack

It's bad enough that the NBA and ABC/ESPN try to force the WNBA down our throats. Now the WUSA wants to get its groove back in 2009. The last time, America took to the WUSA like a rejected kidney transplant. Is it going to count this time?

The league plans to capitalize on the upcoming Women's World Cup (America, fuck yeah) and next year's Beijing Olympics.

"We have seven cities but there is a real chance we will have additional cities in '09. This gives us an 18-month run-up before the league begins. In terms of marketing, branding, sponsorship, ticket sales - all the things that make a sport successful - this all takes lead time."
Yeeeeah ... More power to them if they can get it off the ground. The odds aren't in their favor but if the league can stay afloat and push the WNBA to the side, I'm all in favor of it. I actually went to a WUSA game back in the day. The horde of screaming little girls and noisemakers was a nice touch. Who am I kidding? It's soccer. I'll watch.

Since you asked for it...

The Steelers Are Screwed

You know how I know the Steelers are going to suck? Ben Roethlisberger can't even deal with his imposters like Bill Henry.

The AP reported that former major league pitcher Bill Henry died last week. Only problem is that Henry's still alive. A man who impersonated him for 20 years was the one who died. He allegedly died of a heart attack but I'm going to assume the real Bill Henry dealt with that the only way he knew how. You get right up on him and BANG! Heart attack. That's some cold blooded, gangsta shit.

Henry's 80 years old. What's Big Ben's excuse?

Lonny's Got A Thing For Guns Kind Of Like You Have A Thing For Tits

Poor Lonny Baxter can't help himself. The former Murland Turrpins center and NBA journeyman is obsessed with guns like Ted Nugent. Too bad a federal judge didn't share his affinity for gatling guns.

Baxter was put on injured reserve by U.S. District Judge Peter Messitte. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail for illegally shipping firearms. He sent three guns and a rifle from Houston to College Park, MD in July 2006. He had paid for the guns but had a friend fill out the required federal registration forms. He sent them to another friend and picked them up later.

This isn't the first time Baxter has run into problems with guns. Let's not forget about him celebrating freedom a month late by shooting off a Glock near the White House in August 2006. In February of that year, he pulled off a similar firearms shipping scam to the one he was sentenced for last month.

Baxter lost his contract with a Spanish team as a result of the sentencing.

It seems obsession with stupid runs strong in Garyland. Too bad they're not lovin' their times tables and law abidin'.

Tonga Knows Eating

Tonga don't play when it comes to rugby, BYU football or eating. The Tonga national rugby team is based in Bournemouth, England where they're preparing for the upcoming Rugby World Cup in France. If they show the kind of intensity on the pitch that they displayed at the Fusion Inn, they could be unstoppable.

The Tongans rolled into the pub for lunch and proceeded to wreck shop like Chris Rainey on white girls.

When they dropped into the Fusion Inn yesterday for an English pub lunch, the 30 South Sea giants chomped their way through a staggering 30 roast chickens, 60lb of roast lamb and 60lb of roast beef.

They also wolfed 30lb of pasta and 30lb of potato salad and washed it all down with 40 litres of orange juice.

In all, more than a quarter of a million calories and nearly 10,000g of fat were consumed by the squad.
The English haven't seen devastation like this since the Blitz of 1940 or every World Cup they've ever entered.

The pub called in two extra chefs and three extra waiters off the bench.

In case you were wondering, the Tongans also called "the wrecking balls of the tournament" are in the same group as the US. The gauntlet has officially been thrown down. While this isn't the tournament's group of death, it is for the US. Samoa, England and South Africa round out the group. Save us, Superman because we're about to get proper fucked.

We'll leave you with this tribute to the wrecking balls.

** Vai Sikahema's nephew is Jon Heder. Yeah, Napoleon Dynamite. Marinate on that.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Video Game Bukkake...Oh Dear God Why?

Needless to say...this entire post is NSFW, very NSFW. Evidentially there is a video game out in japan called Love and Death 2 and the character you control doesn't exactly shoot guns in the literal sense of the word...he shoots "his" gun. As a matter of fact, he can shoot his "gun" a lot, with a lot of gooey, flying all over the scantily clad ladies in the game. What the object of the game is...i'm not quite sure...but apparently, the Japanese have come up with the worlds first Bukkake video game. This surely isn't sports related, but the Deuce thought you might want to know. May God save your soul after watching this clip...

From RockPaperShotgun via Kotaku

Vick's Apology Notes On Ebay

Who knows if this is real or not, but this is being sold as Michael Vick's notes for his public apology after his guilty plea for dogfighting. It is up on Ebay right now, and as of midnight, Wednesday morning, it is up to $1,550. Its written on the Omni hotel's notepad and the proceeds of the sale are being used as a donation to "The Humane Society of the United States' efforts to end dogfighting and other forms of animal cruelty by contributing to the Animal Cruelty Response and Reward Fund."

It is amazing what you can find on Ebay. It is also amazing that Mike Vick has such impeccable penmanship. If its true, he did hit all the points on his checklist, although I don't see the "I found God" remark. Was that a Ron Mexico ad lib?

Link to Ebay Auction

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Razorback Fan Throats A Dog

This guy must be a favorite of a lot of guys out there in Arkansas. Watch as he displays his tailgating talent of deep-throating a hot-dog. I hope he stays out of the bathrooms what with recent scandals these days. WHOO PIG SOOWEE indeed.

Redskins Draft Now Must Be Considered A Failure

After Saturday's roster cuts to create the 53 man roster, only two of the Washington Redskins 2007 draft picks remain, LaRon Landry (1st) and H.B. Blades (6th). Amazingly the Redskins managed to sign more undrafted free agents (3, OT Stephon Heyer, RB Marcus Mason and DE Chris Wilson) to the active roster than players they drafted.

The Redskins had the grand total of 5 draft picks in this years 2007 draft and one would hope they would make the most of these picks. Surely they could have found an OT, RB, or DE in the draft that were better than the undrafted free agents that were signed. Did they need to take two linebackers in the draft (Dallas Sartz was the LB that was drafted and cut)? Did they need to take a quarterback (Jordan Palmer) when they already had a young qb on their team? Did they need to take a tight-end when they already had an excellent pass catching TE and a couple decent blocking TE's already on their team? Indeed none of those players who were drafted and cut even made the Redskins' practice squad on Sunday.

Why did they not address the offensive line in the draft? Why are they leaving a roster spot open for most likely a wide-receiver when they could've drafted a talented one late in the draft? The questions are endless! The fact remains that the Redskins front office have no idea what they're doing in the draft. They took the best player available at the #6 pick in LaRon Landry, and he looks to be a force in the defensive backfield, but the rest of the draft looks to be a complete failure.

With just 5 picks, due to horrible trades and offseason signings, they Redskins needed to hit a home run to help restore depth and maintain a strong pipeline of young talent to grow into future rosters. The Redskins instead grounded out to the pitcher.

It is possible that they unearthed some talent with the 3 undrafted free agents, these Cinderella stories have happened in the past. Marcus Mason looks to have incredible body control, vision and speed and Heyer has the body of a pro, but needs a lot of reps to get his mind and footwork in the right shape...and who knows about Chris Wilson.

The reality is, the Redskins blew the draft bigtime this offseason. If the Redskins have any hope to improve their depth and develop a young core of players to compete in the NFL in the future, they MUST get a better scouting department and make smarter draft day decisions. Until that day, there is no way they will climb out of the bottom of the NFC East.

Appalachian State Knows How To Riot!

Sure its not like a <a href="http://www.newsline.umd.ed