Friday, November 30, 2007

This Car Will Invade Your Dreams

This car is awesome. Driving it is creator/artist William Burge at the Essen Motor Show 2007 in Essen, Germany. His "phantom" car started off as a 1968 Volkswagen Beetle, but he changed it up a little bit and created this monster out of it. I'm so inspired by this car that for more Deuce blog filler, I might have to have a badass car of the week. We'll see if i can stick to that, we've seen what has happened to the random videos/photos of horrific violence.

Photo from AP Photo/Martin Meissner

The Knicks Are On And Poppin'

First off, let us say fuck the NFL for making it harder to watch football and trying to blame it on the cable companies. In spite of the bullshit they're trying to pull against FCC chairman Kevin Martin, we actually sympathize with them when it comes to their fight with the NFL Network. Sympathizing with cable companies and Kevin Martin. What's next? Feeling bad about Ian Smith's passing?

We were forced to go to a drinking establishment to watch the Packers-Cowboys game at BW3's last night. Yes, there's a BW3 in New York. It got to the point where we were sitting at our table wearing a Packers construction hat and cheesehead trying to force feed ourselves more wings even though we couldn't breathe. Fuck yeah.

Most people were focused on the football game when someone yelled, "Oh shit, check this shit out!" We turned around and looked at a small tv which had the Knicks-Celtics game on. The Knicks had 39 points towards the end of the 3rd quarter. After a moment of silence, our entire section fell over laughing and for a brief moment, Packers and Cowboys fans bonded.

The Knicks ended up losing 104-59 in the 3rd worst loss in franchise history. There's really not much to say except that I'm beginning to love the Knicks. They have to keep this current setup together.

We'll leave you with the words of Kevin Garnett talking about future Hall of Famer Starbury.

"Steph's different from how he was in Minnesota," Garnett said. "You just don't come out and quit. You got to have a reason or someone has to make you quit."

What Time Is It? Ray Time!

There's been quite a bit of back and forth about the killing of Sean Taylor this past week. The Deuce has certainly had a lot to say about as have blowhards like Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro. In our haste to find some sort of logic or explanation behind Taylor's death, we seem to have forgotten where the focus should lie. Thankfully, we have Ray Lewis for that.

"I understand the magnitude of this game with the Patriots and everything coming in, but the bottom line is, I was more than a friend to Sean Taylor. I was someone he definitely looked up to, and bottom line, it's unfortunate that situations happen like this. When they do happen like this, some things pull you away from everything else that everybody else wants you to worry about. This right here is life. It doesn't change. Life is, once it's gone, it's gone.

"For me, as a man, there's a lot that, as a man, I'm going through right now. That I have to ask God for my strength and my faith, to keep pushing on through life, and keep encouraging young men to do the right things here and there. To think about anything else, really, outside of trying to find a way to really deal with my personal feelings, I think it would be very selfish of me to even try to comment on anything without trying to create something that I probably would be making up.

"As a man, I would just ask for you guys, sympathy just to understand that right now is a very challenging time. Not just for me, for the University of Miami family, everybody. You don't lose a 24-year old kid with that much promise in life like this, it makes you take a step back. For me, it made me take a huge, huge step back. To ask God, what is it that you want me to do, what is it that you want me to stop being selfish about, and things like that.

"If anything, the game is going to take care of itself. I'm just going to get through this weekend, hopefully help a lot of my teammates get through this week as well as a lot of the Hurricane family. We're just going to go from there. "
I have an idea what you can stop being selfish about. Who's this supposed to be about now? Oh yeah, what's his face. I know who I want around when I suffer a personal loss.

"Yeah man, that's some tough shit you're going through and you gotta ask God about that but see man, I'm hungry and I gotta eat. My stomach is killing me. You gonna finish that? Yeah, I didn't think so. Why don't you ask me about how I'm doing? Brother, I feel pain too but I'm doing something about it. You should too."

Ray Ray's usually my boy but a little thought for Taylor's family might be more appropriate at a time like this. I'm sure he has plenty of other people that look up to him like Ed Reed, OJ Simpson... Damn, I said I wouldn't go there.

Oh I just got off the phone with God. I know what he wants you to do. He wants you to make better BBQ and rip Tom Brady's dreamy head off on Monday night.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Wilbon and Shapiro Are Scum

I have read what the Washington Post's Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro have had to say about the tragic murder of Sean Taylor and I have to say, they are the lowest human beings known to mankind for their callous words about his death.

Michael Wilbon has already gone on record as twisting facts about Sean Taylor by saying:

I know how I feel about Taylor, and this latest news isn’t surprising in the least, not to me. Whether this incident is or isn’t random, Taylor grew up in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it, loved to run in it and refused to divorce himself from it. He ain’t the first and won’t be the last. We have no idea what happened, or if what we know now will be revised later. It’s sad, yes, but hardly surprising.

But Len Shapiro for the Washington Post took the cake by comparing Sean Taylor to Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson:

At the moment, it is far too soon to draw any conclusions as to how or why this tragedy occurred, why another young black man is now dead from a gunshot wound in his own home, why another athlete, Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, and now Sean Taylor becomes headline news for all the wrong reasons... Still, could anyone honestly say they never saw this coming? You'd have to be blind not to consider Taylor's checkered past.

I need to know how because he missed league meetings and conversations with his head coach is that a checkered past? I want to know how because Sean Taylor never was convicted of any crime, is Sean Taylor suddenly running with gangs and embracing a thug life? He once plead down to a no contest plea, that is not convicted or considered guilty, for supposedly chasing down people who stole his ATV with a gun. In other words, getting his property back. There is no mention of the prosecutor who was using this case as advertising for his evening DJ'ing gig. There is no mention that the ONLY other time that Sean Taylor had a run in with the law was a DUI which the judge himself threw out of court due to no basis for him being arrested. I need to know why if Sean Taylor hasn't divorced himself from his past, has every one he knew, to a man, said that in the past 2 years, he has become a different and even better man than he was before.

Len Shapiro and Michael Wilbon do not know Sean Taylor any more than us fans here in Washington do. The reason for this is, he never talked to them, us, or any of the media, and the media as a whole does not like anyone who doesn't talk to them. It has happened time and time again that if someone spurns the media, they turn on him and make that person into a bad guy, a rebel, because they do not fall in line and do what the others do.

Being a young black male, missing meetings and being charged but never being convicted of any crime is enough for the old school press to label him a gang banger or at the very least, running with the wrong crowd. Michael Wilbon does not know what crowd Sean Taylor ran with, he never spoke to him. His own coach said that he enjoyed Sean Taylor's friends just yesterday in a public address, if nearly 70 year old Joe Gibbs likes his friends, then what kind of crowd must Sean Taylor run with? People say his past caught up with him and they are not surprised, but that is a faulty assumption based off of what they think his personal life entailed. The truth is, they have no idea.

The truth is, no one knows except himself, his family, close friends and a select few teammates that hung with him...and no one, not Michael Wilbon, not Len Shapiro, NO ONE, has ANY right to say anything disparaging about Sean Taylor personal life because anyone who does say anything bad has no idea what Sean Taylor was doing aside from football.

To label him a gangbanger, a thug, a guy who ran in the wrong circles, a guy who "ran in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it" is a fallacy based off of what you assume he did because he was a young black man who did not always follow the establishment's rules. Anyone who labels him any of this must be as threatened by him as wide-receivers who would not cross the middle of the field while he was around.

To the fans, he signed every autograph, he talked and smiled to them. To his friends, he was a happy, friendly guy they wanted to hang around. To his teammates he was a leader and a player who's work ethic was to be admired. To his family, he was a loving father, son, brother, and partner. Not a single person has had anything bad to say about him besides the media, as indicative of Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro of the Post. What does that say more for the media and the establishment/corporate America than Sean Taylor?

It is a sad indictment indeed. I once was a great fan of the writings of both those Washington Post scribes, but I fear both have lost a great level of respect with me for their words against a great Washington Redskin that was portrayed by the media as a bad guy, but was really a quiet misunderstood man who never cared enough about the media to change their view of him. Their view of him didn't matter, the fans knew, and he was just a man who just wanted to play football the right way and raise his child as best he could.

His former teammate and friend Ryan Clark said it best in the Redskins Insider yesterday:

"Every time they show something about [t]his they show his legalities and things like that, but that's not who he was," Clark said. "it paints a picture like he lived a certain way, so he deserved to go a certain way. But he was a good man and good talent who had become a great man, and I'm said all the people want to focus on is the negative. He was a 24-year-old kid, a brother and a father who passed away.

Shame on you Michael Wilbon, Len Shapiro and anyone else in the media that is using this tragic event to help your career and to get on television more while misconstruing facts to further stereotypes, assumptions and generalizations about a man you knew nothing about. Shame on you all for murdering Sean Taylor again in the media. I am not a praying man, but I pray for your souls.

Portland Hockey Throws Out New Record

The Portland Winterhawks, a Western Hockey League team, have made history on the ice in a new fashion. The have set a record for most stuffed animals thrown on the ice. The fans at the arena threw a reported 20,372 stuffed animals onto the rink after what they thought was their first goal of the season. Sadly, the goal was disallowed. The great news is those 20,372 stuffed toys are all being donated to charity for the team's 10th Annual Teddy Bear toss. Just a nice feel good story for you all. Here's the video of the bears getting thrown. Enjoy

Bobby Knight Should Not Hunt With Dick Cheney

In a new chapter in the life of Bobby Knight, it appears as if he is still a real bad shot when hunting, that or just a man who should never ever carry a loaded gun...or both. Two Texas residents are complaining that Knight hit them with bird shot in different incidents last month.

Mary Ann Chumley said she was struck on the foot by a stray pellet on Oct. 20 in an incident she characterized as an accident. She said Knight apologized for hunting too close to her barn and she forgave him.

Another resident near the dove field said the coach and another hunter returned the next day and one of them intentionally fired a shotgun in his direction.

James Simpson told Lubbock police he was struck on the neck and back by pellets after yelling at Knight and another man he believed were hunting too close to his house. Simpson's backyard is about 100 yards from where Chumley was struck the previous day.

Bobby Knight's reaction to these accusations was, at the very least, predictable

"That's all been taken care of, that's over with," Knight said. "You haven't heard anything from that guy for two weeks. That's done. I got no comment on that whatsoever because that's absolute [expletive.]"

Bobby Knight not listening to people? Bobby Knight getting upset when people tell him what to do? Bobby Knight getting mad at people for yelling at him? This is all brand new information! What isn't brand new information is that Knight is not a good hunter, in 1999 he actually shot a friend of his in the shoulder and back with 16 pellets of a 20 gauge shotgun. How is this man still allowed to carry a gun? He's shot at more people than OJ!

New Sport: Quidditch

Quidditch is a game inspired by the Harry Potter books, which the Deuce has not read nor seen the films based off of, but is now being played by a few liberal arts schools (ie: stoners) here in the states. The Deuce is not even going to attempt describe this athletic event, Science Blog does a very good description of it in it's blog, but watch here as a Vassar college student attempts to explain this game in preparation for its "World Cup" against Middlebury college. Dear God, what have we become as a society...

Sean Taylor's Death A Boon To Some

Sad that some people in the world are now making money off of the death of a young man, but this is still American last time I checked and on Ebay right now, if you do a search for Sean Taylor you will find all sorts of items now going for prices never before seen for his merchandise.

Some of the worst actually use the attack in their descriptions such as this autographed color photo signed by Sean Taylor starting at $138.50. Also is this action figure going up for sale for $150.00, but hey at least he says in the description he's not trying to capitalize on the death, that must make it better when he discusses it in his description for sale. This trading card sale which describes his attack going for $28.50. This autographed photo going for $26.00 that actually uses a RIP 1983-2007 photo in its sale.

There are plenty of others for sure, it is pretty amazing what people will do to make a buck.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

RIP Sean Taylor 1983-2007

Tragic event for this young man, his family, the Redskins organization and the fans of the team. A needless loss of a special human being. Washington Post has a write up here. It is a sad day to be a Redskin & Redskins fan.

Update: Our commentary on the media's depiction of Sean Taylor is here

Gentlemen We Salute Your Vigor

England may blow donkey dick when it comes to soccer but when it comes to debauchery, there's no team better equipped for success. The guys who brought you roasting now give you a night at the club sponsored by Chelsea winger Shaun Wright-Phillips.

The News of the World reports that England players threw down at Wright-Phillips' birthday party which fell between crucial Euro 2008 qualifiers and all hell broke loose. The paper reported the following:

  • [England and Chelsea captain John] Terry being so drunk he URINATED on the floor and in a cup.
  • Another player begging two lapdancers for a THREESOME.
  • Some guests getting so drunk that they VOMITED on the floor.
  • An ugly SCUFFLE between Wright-Phillips and a female guest who dared to take his picture.
  • Terry, missing from action through a knee injury, BOUNCING up and down on his bad leg with dancers.
  • An unnamed top player on the national team got a blowjob then full on sex in the club basement while people walked on by.
    "He was in a corridor where staff have their lockers behind the VIP area and you have to get to it by going through two doors. Obviously he had sneaked off hoping no one had seen him. He was p****d and didn't give a monkey's about anything. The girl gave him oral for ages and when I came back she was sitting in his lap having full sex."

    "They were grunting and bonking right in front of me. It's incredible that this should be going on so close to England becoming the laughing stock of Europe by not qualifying."

    "Word got around they were there and several people came to have a look. One of the managers tried to get the player to stop but he was too gone."

    "The manager was so stunned all he could come up with was, ‘What are you doing to my chair?'"
    Meanwhile, Terry, who had been out injured, was dancing around a stripper pole and letting the ladies know that his penis is a mountain. (Link to video)
    "He went up to dance on stage with two lapdancers. He was wriggling his hips and trying to dance all sexy with the girls."

    "The pole-dancing area is up a couple of steps so everyone saw what was going on. He's really going for it and you can see the girls, who were wearing tiny tops and hotpants, were loving it. He even appears to be pretending to rub his groin as he turns to face them at one point."

    "Certainly his movement is amazing. I'm surprised he was out so long with a knee injury because his dancing was pretty fast and furious."
    You'd think JT would have stopped there but he's the captain and as a friend of mine says, "Go big or go home!". He proceeded to piss all over the floor while trying to hit a plastic cup. Two other girls threw up on the floor after drinking too much Grey Goose and Moet.

    Now that's what we at the Deuce call maximum effort. You leave it all in the club by the time you walk out. Set an example for those other national sides who think they can hang. God save the queen? Nah playboy. God save anyone who tries to roll with England and doesn't bring their A game.

    Oh yeah, England lost 3-2 to Croatia the following Wednesday and were eliminated from the Euro 2008 finals.

    Photo and video courtesy of News of the World.

    Do Not F**k With Australia

    Lesson #1: If you're going to get in a fight, make sure it's not with an Australian.
    Lesson #2: If you're going to fight an Australian, don't fight an Australian sailor.

    One American learned these rules the hard way after getting his arse handed to him in a sack by two Australian sailors at a house party.

    You're probably wondering why the freedom haters beat down the American. Actually you probably assume they did it because they're Australian and you've seen the Road Warrior enough times to know how they act. You're halfway there. They were "arguing about the virtues of American versus Australian football".

    The argument escalated and the American threatened to kill the Australians. Bad move, mate. The Australians beat the shit out of the American and broke his eye socket. They were booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. That would be their feet.

    Australia should be forced to hand over a sacrifice for our sailors to beat like a red-headed stepchild. I suggest John Howard or Savage Garden.

    Monday, November 26, 2007

    The Coup De Grâce

    After today's news about Sean Taylor, we figured you could use some old hotness. Check this video of James Brown, Michael Jackson and Prince on the same stage.

    That Prince looks like a predator. He should be more like that nice Michael Jackson boy.