Friday, October 19, 2007

Where Are My Lineups, Fox?!?!

Dr. Z of Sports Illustrated brought up a very interesting note in his "Inside the NFL" column, Fox Sports has stopped showing the starting lineups at the beginning of their NFL games. That kinda shocked me. Dr. Z had a conversation with David Hill, Chairman of Fox Sports and midway down page 2, you can see how that fruitless conversation went, but here's a snippet:

"You want to know who's in or out?" [David]Hill [Chairman of Fox Sports] said. "The announcers will give you that in their stand-up. I don't want the screen cluttered up with that."

But the announcers did not give me that. Yes they did, he said. No they didn't, I said. Yes they did. And the argument raged. When our conversation was over I called Fox's PR department and asked them if they could send me a tape, so I could see for myself (I hadn't saved my tape of the pre-game). They said they would. Coming right up. They never sent it. You just can't win, folks. When you're dealing with corporate America, you just can't win.

Ladies and Gentlemen, starting lineups have been a mainstay in football broadcasts since I can remember. They've even progressed, in this digital age, from just pictures to the actual players announcing themselves! We the people need this just so we know if say Santonio Holmes is playing or if his backup is in because Holmes pulled a hamstring!

Ok well you and I don't necessarily need this because we play fantasy football and know the lineups a half hour before the start of the game, but most people don't subscribe to those services that tell us that. In any case, its tradition! Its how football has been broadcast since the dawn of football being broadcast! You cannot change this! TELL FOX WE NEED OUR LINEUPS!

Here's their feedback page if you really want them back...but who else misses them like I do? Is it just clutter or do you like them like Dr. Z and I do?

Mike Flynt's Friends Are Kinda Nuts

We posted a story a few days ago questioning the motives behind Mike Flynt's (in light green) collegiate comeback to football, saying that perhaps part of his dream was to sell a few more pieces of exercise equipment. Apparently, friend of Mike Flynt, Randy Wilson (in blue) was not amused. He posted a comment in our comments, sent us an email that is too long to print, and he even posted in the comments of the Yardbarker story that we posted.

In addition he posted this in the Sul Ross forums:

"Everybody READ THIS From Randy W

Date: 18 Oct 2007
Time: 16:48:01 -0400
Remote Name:
Remote User:

Everybody please go to this site and read the comment by deuce of davenport. Then feel free to click on "post comment" and cut loose. Says Mike is only going to Sul Ross to sell Powerbases?????Believe me there's an easier way. Read my comments then feel free to practice your American right of FREE SPEECH."

Wow, that is quite the rallying cry there. I read a little more in this forum and I saw this gem further questioning Mike Flynt's history more than I ever did:

"Everybody READ THIS from Marco P.

Date: 18 Oct 2007
Time: 17:32:11 -0400
Remote Name:
Remote User:


Honorable words, Mr. W. I too think there is nothing more honorable than practicing my right to freedom of speech! But yet, how can you exalt your right to defend Michael Flynt, but yet shoot down and attempt to silence those who pose questions against him? Is it not protected speech to probe into the unknow, seek the truth, and shed light onto questions that are burning to be answered? We are here to find the truth, the secret that remains desperately protected by Flynt's cronies, Randy, Gaby, "TS," and his lapdog Toyah. We are here to bring the answer to the people, WHY IT IS THAT MICHAEL FLYNT WAS EXPELLED FROM HIS COLLEGE YEARS AGO? Why is it that a good and just man would hide in the shadows and refuse to reveal his true self to the world? If Flynt is so great, so close to the truth as you claim he is, let him come forth and tell us all him self. We are for the truth! We are for justice! We will find our answers, and you loyal followers will not stand in our way. -MP"

MP I assume is the same Marco Polo that posted in our comments section who said:

"he is a fake and a druggie no one should admire this man"

I just don't know who to trust anymore? Randy Wilson sure comes off as a little fanatical, but Marco Polo comes off as a little bitter. I wonder if Marco Polo attended Sul Ross, if so that school has to put out some of the most intense people on the planet. All I know is...I want me a free Powerbase for all this free press I'm giving this old fart. Problem is, if I give out my address, I am liable to get a pipe bomb or something for besmirching the good name of Mike Flynt. What to do, what to do.

For Randy, I will make this change to my prior post:

Mike Flynt = Not Worthy Of Our Praise Has Intense Friends

Dallas Cowboys Are Cheap And Dumb

The Dallas Cowboys organization participated in a domain name auction for the site "". The auction ended with the organization bidding $275,000 and they won the site. The only problem is, they thought they were bidding $275 for the name and now they don't want it. The head of the auction site that had the name had this to say in a forum:

when I spoke to their attorney...he was dead serious, had no idea that it was $275K and was shocked when he received the purchase agreement ( he thought he bought it for $275.00 - thats right two hundred and seventy five dollars!). I almost asked him what he was smoking.

after falling out of my chair....not ever experiencing anything like this one, we are going to let this dog stay sleeping for a while. someone should pick this name up and it will ultimately cost the cowboys millions when they finish that $800M stadium they are building. I told the attorney that my guess was that they probably sell $275K in popcorn and beer in one game and that they were foolish not to look at their brand in a different way.

We find a way to turn dirt into diamonds anyway and this will be well past us.

Pretty dumb huh? HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?!!!

Seriously, the domain name has got to be worth that much, if not more, why wouldn't they want to lock that bad boy up? They're paying more for Roy Williams and I'm sure he's made less hits than that site would've.

Time To Work Your Balls

I've never understood what women do with those inflatable work-out balls. Never seemed to me like they could do much of anything for the body. I understand now. This video makes it all quite clear and the 3 girls in lingerie certainly helped. (NSFW)

The Constitutional Vol.20 - DC Edition!

Here in DC, we have a TON of great bloggers to read throughout the day, and really, I don't think I mention it enough. Quality work from you all. So, in tribute to my fellow Washington DC bloggers, a special friday link-dump just for you guys and gals (if I missed you, let me know)...Welcome to the Constitutional.

This Guy Thinks the BCS Sucks

I dont think I can count how many times Peter Rosenberg says "SUCKS" in this video...all I know is, I agree with him.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Doc Rivers Is Excited About The New Season

There must be a reasonable explanation for this besides Doc having a raging hard on...I smell a caption contest!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Halloween Is Coming...Who Should You Be?

The Deuce is quite fond of the Halloween season, it is such a great time for women of the world to dress up in the sluttiest clothes possible and actually get praise instead of scorn for baring tons of cleavage and leg. Women you wouldn't even think of as bimbos get all hoochied up and it is a wonderful thing. Sadly, this article has nothing to do with them. This is for us sports watching guys.

We, unlike the fine ladies of the world, don't have the option of wearing some borderline red lingerie outfit with devil horns and saying "I'm the devil" or some pseudo sports related "sexy referee" outfit...we must get more creative. So, we've culled together a few sports related costumes that you might want to see if you can use for your Halloween.

We love to help.

1) Travis Henry:
Simple costume to do, all you need is a Travis Henry Broncos jersey, 9 plastic baby dolls, and 1 gigantic rolled up joint in your mouth. The 9 baby dolls should be in a stroller, on your shoulder, head, cradled in your arm, attached to your tit, on your legs...all over because, where the hell you gonna keep 9 kids??

2) Roy Williams

Get yourself a Williams jersey, put a Pizza Hut button down over top of it, grab a pizza box and you're all set. Just don't expect any tips.

3) Derek Jeter
For the guy who doesn't want to get laid that night, wear a Jeter jersey and add a huge ass cold sore on your face with some make up. Prepare for no female to talk to your Herpes ridden ass.

4) George Steinbrenner
Get yourself a white turtleneck, sport coat, and a white wig...walk around saying “Great to see ya, Tommy,” to everyone in the room.

5) Bill Belichick
Wear a hoodie and a headset, look real sour all the time and have a friend videotape everything that is going on across the bar/party for you.

6) Greg Oden
Get a tree costume...wear Oden's jersey. DONE!

7) Bill Simmons
If all the above is too hard to do, just be Bill Simmons. To do this follow these steps: a) be white, very white; b) dress incredibly average in every way; c) be the most pompous and smug guy in the room; d) talk relentlessly about the Karate Kid, 90210, Boston sports teams and your friends no one cares about; e) try to give your book away, watch no one take it.

Any more suggestions?

You Must Think Like The Dolphin

Two Dolphins stories together are like two Dolphins fans in the same place. Chris Rock once said, "Seeing two Dolphins fans in the same place is like seeing two Indians in the same place". The shit just don't happen. Just remember where you were when it happened.

What The Problem Is?

You have to wonder when David Boston's dad is going to throw him out of the game or flag him for a 15 yard personal foul. Like sand through the hourglass, David Boston was arrested again.

This time, Boston was arrested and charged with false imprisonment, battery and resisting an officer without violence. He started arguing with his wife, Renee after he left the house and locked it with their month old daughter inside the house while she was on a walk with their two-year old daughter.

Boston threw a cushion at his wife while she was holding the baby and pulled the phone cord out of the wall to prevent her from calling 911. He then barricaded himself in the house with a Bowflex and weapons provided by Tank Johnson ... Ok maybe that last part didn't happen but it's only a matter of time.

Why I Go In And Out Of Comas All The Time

French toast please! Trent Green wants back in the game and hopefully he'll get french toast to go along with the scrambled eggs in his head. He claims he has no symptoms from the hit he took on October 7.

The Miami Herald suggests that his full participation in practice and lack of symptoms suggests that Green may not have suffered a Grade 3 concussion. I think he's just used to the symptoms and he thinks everything's normal.

Who knows? Maybe he is fine to play. He'll know it's time to hang it up when he starts thinking and talking like Merrill Hoge. If he starts sending hate mail to Vince Young, he may be in need of an intervention.

By the way, let's leave on a high note and laugh at the assclown that is Joey Porter. Here's to 0-16.

Thierry Henry Wants To Be Special Too

Cheating's in the air. Can you feel it? Thierry Henry sure can. The Deuce brought you the story of Jose Mourinho getting busted for having an affair. Now it's up to three. Now we bring you Thierry Henry's drama courtesy of the Sun.

Henry had an affair with a makeup artist during a commercial shoot and the discovery of text messages led to a divorce and possibly his transfer from Arsenal to Barcelona.

His wife Claire discovered the text messages on his phone and confronted him. Shortly after, he moved out and took off to Spain after a quickie divorce. Now she wants half like Raw.

She is now demanding a £10million divorce settlement, and divorce experts have predicted that a judge will order a “clean break” - with Claire receiving a lump sum payment rather than a proportion of Henry’s future earnings.

It is expected that Claire will be entitled to a large part of superstar Henry’s wealth [estimated at £25million]. And with the revelation that Arsenal’s record goalscorer may have been playing away, she will probably be set up for life.
Henry has retained Heather Mills' lawyer while his ex Claire has retained Paul McCartney's lawyer. No way this gets messy...

I could be wrong but ain't no way that ass is worth £10million.

Troy Brown And The Pats Think You're A Part-Time Sucka

You gotta hand it to the Pats. You can't accuse them of lacking confidence after shoving popcorn up TO's ass last Sunday. However they could be getting a little too cocky for their own good.

Test your Bingo skills against super bowl champion Troy Brown and his New England Patriot teammates for the chance to win $10,000 in prize money!

WR Troy Brown is sponsoring a Celebrity Bingo Tournament at Gillette Stadium along with some Patriots teammates.

Negro is you crazy? You must think I was born yesterday. This ain't right. I could see Rodney Harrison or Construda doing this but not Troy Brown. If you think this bingo they speak of is going to be on the level, think again. Why would they have it on a football field instead of in a bingo hall, casino or club? You know they're going to rig the balls and have cameras on all the cards.

Watch serial impregnator Tom Brady win every time while Belichek stands in the owner's box in his hoodie rubbing his hands together and saying "Excellent".

Oh don't expect any transportation to the stadium. You have to get there yourself. Some prize. Just pray you have enough gas to get away in case Brady tries to impregnate you. Then again, you could get child support.

Sometimes You Just Have To Go

Sometimes, when you gotta go, you just have to go. If there's a bar to go on and a hundred witnesses, even better! Eric Schnupp, Baylor's offensive line/tight ends coach, was caught and fined $258 for pissing on a bar in Lawrence, Kansas. Schnupp supposedly thought no one was watching him as the bartenders were forcing everyone out of the bar at closing time.

Bartender Danny Severe said Schnupp had taken several shots of hard liquor, most bought for him by other people.

I m