Do Not F**k With Australia

Lesson #1: If you're going to get in a fight, make sure it's not with an Australian.
Lesson #2: If you're going to fight an Australian, don't fight an Australian sailor.

One American learned these rules the hard way after getting his arse handed to him in a sack by two Australian sailors at a house party.

You're probably wondering why the freedom haters beat down the American. Actually you probably assume they did it because they're Australian and you've seen the Road Warrior enough times to know how they act. You're halfway there. They were "arguing about the virtues of American versus Australian football".

The argument escalated and the American threatened to kill the Australians. Bad move, mate. The Australians beat the shit out of the American and broke his eye socket. They were booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. That would be their feet.

Australia should be forced to hand over a sacrifice for our sailors to beat like a red-headed stepchild. I suggest John Howard or Savage Garden.