Baseball fights are worthless these days. Players lackadaisically jog out on the field, pretend to push each other around then slink back to their respective dugouts. You don’t get any gems like this Orioles-Yankees brawl from 1998 or this Yankees-Red Sox beauty with the infamous toss of Don Zimmer by Pedro Martinez. That’s more than famous for you kids out there.

Hats off to UC Riverside and Sacramento State for kicking off the baseball season with a proper brawl.

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Look how well Andrew Ayers of Sacramento State took that hook to the jaw. It didn’t even faze him. Will Soto Jr. then came with the strong takedown of Eddie Young who threw the punch. Enjoy that, real wrestling fans. That’s the last time you’ll see one since it’s no longer in the Olympics.

Take note, MLB baseball players. Now that’s how you’re supposed to fight! From now on that’s how you fight!

So yesterday, good friend and fellow Deuce of Davenporter Turd Ferguson posted this. And while I respect his opinion on many, many sports-related matters, I have to take him to task on what he wrote about my beloved Major League Baseball. If his article appeared on any other respected website, I’d do the same. So Turd, no hard feelings. Read the rest of this entry

I rarely write about baseball, mostly because it’s just not that appealing to me. If the ratings are to be believed then I far from alone. I can pretty much predict all the teams that will be in it every season. Oh, sure, some “smaller market” clubs can break through here and there, like the Detroit Tigers, or the Tampa Bay Rays (or the Milwaukee Brewers), but we all know that the Yankees, Red Sox, Phillies, and Braves are almost assured to be in it and that they get the dominant coverage.

It doesn’t even matter that there have been five different clubs that have won the World Series the last five years; including a “small market” St. Louis Cardinals team. It was pretty lame for me to watch Indians Pitcher Cliff Lee face off against former Indians pitcher CC Sabathia in Game 1 of the 2009 World Series but that’s not the worst for me, either. It sucks that every August, just as the division races heat up, wealthier teams swarm like vultures and just scoop up players from other teams that either a) can’t afford to resign them or b) aren’t playing for anything. That’s bad, but not the worst, either. That’s not what I hate the most about baseball. No, the worst in when one of those clubs DOESN’T make it; because then we have to hear about all the time.

Case-in-point; the Red Sox absolutely collapsed down the stretch to piss away the AL East division crown and slip out of the playoffs. No big deal, right? The Cleveland Indians were in first place at the all-star break, and shit the bed as well, it happens. But, this is the Red Sox, why how will WE EVER BE ABLE TO WATCH THE POSTSEASON WITHOUT THEM!? ESPN has been running constant coverage of the Red Sox; interviews with David Ortiz; “analysis” from fake bleeder Curt Schilling; and grainy footage of Terry Francona in dad jeans leaving the Red Sox podium. I have heard more about the “lack of chemistry” and “too much partying” in the Red Sox clubhouse then I have heard about the entire rest of the postseason. Baseball players party ALL THE TIME. It’s not like baseball is a grueling sport to play. But because the Red Sox cleaned out their lockers last week we MUST HAVE ANSWERS!

That’s wrong; that’s part of why baseball is awful.

Do you think the NFL yammers away when the Cowboys miss the postseason AGAIN? No, they move on; because they rightfully recognize that the to sustain interest in the sport you have to look for more compelling stories then just the same stuff with the same teams. In 2007, Alex Rodriguez opted out of his $252 million contract with the New York Yankees just before Game 4 of the World Series. It pissed off a lot of people because it took away interest from the game. Not ESPN; they ran 24/7 coverage and moved the two teams playing in the World Series to the back of the bus. More Yankees stories, YES PLEASE? (claps like a seal)

It illustrates the other thing I hate about baseball. ESPN is a huge part of the problem. They spent years building up the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry to some obnoxious crescendo. It helped that they had willing participants; why, who could forget Pedro Martinez, who grew up in the Dominican, and started his career with the Expos, throwing down former Red Sox bench coach Don Zimmer, who looked curiously like Don Rickles. Or the footage of A-Fraud Alex Rodriguez and Jason Veritek sissy-fighting was played thousands of times. In the process of building up this phony rivalry, they managed to make the game stale. How much breath and footage can be wasted on this? ESPN plans to find out.

Look, I don’t give a shit that Theo Epstein is going to go try to fix the Chicago Cubs, another team that doesn’t do shit every season but we have to hear about it because Michael Wilbon likes to remind people that he once lived in the midwest more than 30 years ago. GMs move teams all the time. I don’t even care that Terry Francona is being made the scapegoat for the collapse of his team; doesn’t that happen with EVERY coach that gets the door? I just know that everytime one of the “evil empire” teams misses the postseason ESPN runs about a thousand stories; and an angel gets it’s wings. I also know that many more people would rather watch pre-game coverage of an early season NFL game when airing opposed to October baseball.

MLB Gave the Sports World a Two-Day Hangover

In a span of about 90 minutes on Wednesday night, Major League Baseball melted the proverbial faces of the sporting world with three dramatic win or go-home games. For a generation of sports fans that want/need/must-have information at every possible juncture, Wednesday night’s finish was just about perfect. And if that wasn’t quick enough, 48 hours later, we begin the playoffs. A couple of quick thoughts about what went down on “Wild Card Wednesday” and the days ahead for this crazy, drug-free season. Read the rest of this entry

Jorge Posada is sensitive

When I was like 4 or 5 I wanted the Ecto-cooler Hi-C juice box pack more then anything in the world. Slimer is awesome! So, when my mother declined to buy them one time at Heinen’s I started to throw a tantrum. She smacked me across the face. In the grocery line. While I was crying. She later told me I stopped crying immediately and I don’t remember ever throwing another tantrum again.

On a completely unrelated note Jorge Posada got mad because Joe Girardi decided that aging, shitty players should not be batting in the front of the order.

Buy me some Cocoa puffs with the Ecto-cooler, ESPN:

Jorge Posada was so angry at being dropped to ninth in the order Saturday that he not only said he wanted out of the lineup, he also said he wanted off the Yankees.

Sources told ESPN The Magazine’s Buster Olney on Monday that the 39-year-old lashed out about the lineup move and being relegated to full-time designated hitter. The New York Daily News first reported the story.

What!? How dare you hold me accountable for my declining production!?

Jorge Posada ran home, tore up every picture of him and Joe Girardi, made a mixtape of their favorite songs, did drive bys to his house in West Chester, and calling his home phone and breathing heavy.

But Posada, who is batting .165 and has yet to get a hit against a left-hander this season, later apologized for pulling himself from the lineup.

“It’s just one of those days that you wish you could have back,” Posada said Sunday.

God, what is it with these Yankees? Jeter needs $51 million to feel good about himself, Rodriguez needs to be portrayed as a centaur? This team has so much self-entitlement it’s as if the chicks from Mean Girls picked up a bat and gloves and started playing soft toss.