Welcome to March or as it’s known to some, Women’s History Month. If Black History Month was anything to go by, people better hide their important female icons until April. February was not the best month for black people. Shout out to Don Cornelius. It’s not all doom and gloom. The first of the month brings a new entry into the 2012 Best Name in Sports Contest. Enter Chicken Knowles.

Knowles is a forward from Houston who recently committed to the University of Houston for next season. He’s currently ranked #47 overall and #14 at his position by Rivals.com. We can’t predict how he’ll turn out in college but this is a prime opportunity for a national chicken chain to use him for marketing purposes.

Chick fil-A already has a leg up in the college athlete endorsement battle thanks to Casanova McKinzy who cited their presence near campus as a reason why he picked Auburn over Clemson.

Popeye’s and KFC need to step their game up. You’d think the place that got Beyonce to carry their free chicken for life VIP card would be all over Chicken. No chain will be able to pay or provide free chicken for life in the open. He might get a slap on the wrist for cash payments but free chicken will result in him losing his college eligibilty and get Houston the death penalty. Free Ohio State. They should be able to figure out a way to hook him up for dropping their name in every interview like a NASCAR driver.

“I’d love to stay and talk but I really need to go eat some delicious Popeye’s. It helps me maintain my sexy.”

“Well, I just tell people that I keep a sensible diet which consists of three servings of Chick fil-A every meal. I was having problems down in the post until I added an additional Spicy Chicken Sandwich to lunch and dinner.”

“I know I just got here and want to play right now. Guess you could call me a private. I’m just gonna practice hard, take my minutes when I get ‘em and eat KFC until I become a colonel. A floor colonel.”

Speaking of the first of tha month,

Texas A&M Gets Dumped On Their Prom Night

So the Aggies of Texas A&M thought that they could get the jump on the whole college football realignment business by joining the SEC right away. Like, they thought they’d be in the SEC next season.  The only problem with this is that the SEC never asked Texas A&M to join them, doesn’t really want them right now and basically told A&M “Yeah, uh, thanks big guy…but no thanks” on Sunday. Boy, have their faces got to be red…or orange…or burnt sienna or whatever their school colors are.


“(Texas A&M) did approach the SEC, not the other way around,” [Arkansas chancellor Dave] Gearhart said. “I’m not really sure of all the reasons for that. I’m sure that there’s a lot of speculation on behalf of a lot of people that what caused them to do that.

“The bottom line is they did approach the SEC.”

One has to assume that A&M was attempting to be proactive because they do not want to be left out in the cold when Texas bolts out of the Big 12 for greener pastures in the next year or two. Too bad for them that it appears A&M will not be going anywhere greener anytime soon.

Will anyone take on A&M now that the SEC flat out rejected them? Did they blow their proverbial wad when attempting to hook up with the prettiest girl in college? Could they now have to hook up with the last girl in the bar at 3am when the lights come on? Is it possible that I can make any more forced awkward references to my time spent in college?  In all seriousness, no, they’re probably going to end up in the SEC at some point even though it doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever.

Discounting money for a second, why on earth would A&M want to be in the SEC? They can barely compete against Texas (and that is being really really generous to them) how are they going to compete in a conference that most seasons has 2 or 3 teams that have the talent level as good or better than what Texas has on a yearly basis? Football-wise, the move makes zero sense whatsoever. Getting into the SEC would help them out financially for a bit sure, but in the end, it could hurt their program more than its already being hurt by languishing behind the Longhorns season after season.

I understand that big conferences with big teams bring in big dollars, but maybe A&M might do better for itself in the long run thinking smaller and instead trying to become a bigger fish in a littler pond. Perhaps A&M should think outside the box a little more, Nebraska and Colorado certainly did.


Ex-THE Ohio State University QB Terrelle Pryor has had a rough couple weeks. First, his coach gets sacked (bites down on cigar, arches eyebrows), then he shows up to a team meeting in Nissan 350Z while he is under investigation by both the NCAA and OSU; then his friends start snitching (hasn’t ‘Melo taught us anything, people?). Pryor’s ex-homie and possible future-gun-violence-victim says Pryor got up to $1,000 for signed memorabilia. Now, it looks like Terrelle’s NFL payday may go on lay-a-way for a stint in the XFL UFL.

Later Tuesday night, “Outside the Lines” reporters Tom Farrey and Justine Gubar reported that a friend of Pryor’s, who requested anonymity, says he witnessed the quarterback autographing memorabilia in 2009-10 a minimum of 35 to 40 times and that Pryor netted anywhere from $20,000 to $40,000 last year for doing so.

Average NFL salary(for rookies): $330,000
Average UFL salary: $50,000

I found some article that said UFL QBs get paid $200,000. But that was before we found out the UFL was stiffing its talent. Long story short, Pryor could have signed a few more mini-footballs and jerseys and covered the difference.

For some, college represents the glory years of your life, a time when you felt invincible, and capable of just about anything.

NFL QB Matt Leinart is one of those people. Leinart has never done much as a pro except bitch and moan about not being the starting QB, but he was the man at USC, even getting his no. 11 jersey retired. If you go to Leinart’s twitter page the background is an image of his days as a Trojan, when he was a winner. No matter how many seasons he fails to live up to his pre-draft hype, he will always have his national championship as a Trojan. Until now. Turns out that’s no longer the case, either. Thanks, Reggie Bush. No, seriously, this is awesome.

Write a hate letter to Reggie Bush on Leinart’s behalf, ESPN:

“The BCS arrangement crowns a national champion, and the BCS games are showcase events for postseason football,” BCS executive director Bill Hancock said in a statement. “One of the best ways of ensuring that they remain so is for us to foster full compliance with NCAA rules. Accordingly, in keeping with the NCAA’s recent action, USC’s appearances are being vacated.

“This action reflects the scope of the BCS arrangement and is consistent with the NCAA’s approach when it subsequently discovers infractions by institutions whose teams have played in NCAA championship events.”

The BCS and NCAA are not formally affiliated, but the BCS reacted to the NCAA finding that Bush was ineligible during the 2004 season because he received extra benefits from a would-be sports marketer.

“This was not an unexpected outcome,” USC athletic director Pat Haden said. “We will comply with all requirements mandated by the result of this BCS vote.”

One of Haden’s first moves when he took over as AD last year was to give back the school’s copy of the Heisman Trophy that Bush won in 2005. Bush later relinquished his own Heisman and the trust in charge of handing out the award announced the ’05 winner would be left vacant.

Jim Tressel is a goddamn liar part 2

The Ohio State University has been annoying college football fans for years. A phantom pass interference call brought Columbus a National Championship in 2002. Ohio State routinely produces busty NFL players like Bobby Carpenter, Troy Smith, and Brian Robiskie. Finally, the Buckeyes carry a smug attitude and try to pretend they are better then conferences like the SEC because they won’t “stoop” to the same depths.

We’re not naive. College sports is big business, like mail-order brides, or creepy Japanese kiddie(ish)-porn, and twice as sleazy. So, when it turns out that the ass-clown in the red vest is just as dirty as everybody else you can’t help but smile. Sure, Tressel didn’t bribe any recruits to come to Ohio State, but he did sit on lie about information about his players selling their gear for tattoos (pretty much a requirement in order to reside in Ohio). He also keeps losing in big games against teams that are not Michigan.

This week, the NCAA called out the most annoying program (besides Duke) in college sports, publishing a Notice of Allegations. Ohio State now has until July 5 to respond and is scheduled to appear before the NCAA Committee on Infractions at its Aug. 12 meeting in Indianapolis.

Make me feel better about my alma mater, ESPN:

In a 13-page indictment of Tressel’s behavior, the NCAA alleged that Tressel had “permitted football student-athletes to participate in intercollegiate athletics while ineligible.” It also said he “failed to deport himself … [with] honesty and integrity” and said he was lying when he filled out a compliance form in September which said he had no knowledge of any NCAA violations by any of his players.

(Scooby’s ears perk up) Ruh-Roh!

Ohio State was not cited for the most serious of institutional breaches since Tressel hid information from his superiors for more than nine months. The university has 90 days to respond to the ruling body of college sports’ request for information before a scheduled date before the NCAA’s committee on infractions on Aug. 12 in Indianapolis.

(orgasm face) Okay….just one more:

Tressel is mentioned throughout the Notice of Allegations, which alleges that the coach “failed to deport himself in accordance with the honesty and integrity normally associated with the conduct and administration of intercollegiate athletics as required by NCAA legislation and violated ethical-conduct legislation when he failed to report information concerning violations of NCAA legislation and permitted football student-athletes to participate in intercollegiate athletics competition when ineligible.” Again, this isn’t a revelation, but the NCAA clearly isn’t pleased with the coach. It would be truly surprising if Tressel doesn’t get hit with additional penalties.

Tomorrow, the Deuce will be on the scene in Columbus to speak to Coach Tressel regarding these allegations. We were told we could find him in a pickup truck outside the Ohio State practice facility. We were also told if we see a loaded shotgun next to him and an envelope addressed to his family on the dashboard, not to worry, he’s not a threat to others.

I mean…unless you had dreams of playing well in the NFL someday.