Ok, so Bill Belichick gets named to his third NFL Coach of the Year title by the Associated Press despite the 1 and done his team pulled in the playoffs.  Sure, his Patriots did have a wonderful 14-2 record and in theory the award is supposed to be award to the best team in the regular season…but that and $5000 will get you a ticket the Super Bowl to see the two head coaches that probably should’ve have placed 1 and 2 above Belichick in the coach of the year standings.

If it were me deciding things, my pick would be for Mike McCarthy of the Green Bay Packers hands down.  His team, facing an astounding rash of injuries (16 players on the IR) and facing elimination every week since Week 16, has come together into a team that is now favored to win the Super Bowl by anywhere between 2 and 3 points.  You don’t think somewhere in there coaching might have something to do with that?  You don’t think overcoming that kind of adversity might warrant some sort of recognition?

You might say “CAHM AWWN, BELICHAWK GAWT TO FAWTEEN AHHND TWO WITH A BUNCHA NO NAMES!” and I say to that “Fuck you.  James Starks.”  C’mon, this guy was practice squad fodder and now he is performing at a higher level than any of Patriots running backs…yes even Danny Woodhead.  Its not like McCarthy is working with a team of potential Hall of Famers here.  On offense, sure there is Rogers but the only heralded receiver he is throwing to is Greg Jennings. Driver is old as dirt and the other guys are just young speedsters only now sorta coming into their own.  His best receiver, Jermichael Finley, is on the friggin IR.

The Packer’s defense is another has got to be one of the youngest defenses in the league, filled with players only in their second or third years in the league, and yet they are one of the league’s top five defensive teams.  Way to coach em up, coach.

As a matter of fact, the Packers’ entire roster averages 3.2 years of experience in the league.  That isnt a lot of experience there, there’s gotta be some solid coaching that got them to the Super Bowl this year.  Look at the Steelers roster in comparison, they average 4.5 years in the league.

In the end, the game of football comes down to championships. You tell me how Belichick was a better coach this season if he couldn’t manage to tell Tom Brady to stop flinching when there was no one around him in that Jets game.  Wuss.

Its too late now and yeah the Pack had a 10-6 record, but c’mon…he really did a better job.

Chicago Bears fan Jeremy Piven wasn’t pleased when he was busted making comments about Ben Roethlisberger during Sundance.

Piven was talking sports during some downtime last week at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, when he said the Super Bowl, set for Feb. 6, would have been a better with the New York Jets and his hometown favorites, the Chicago Bears on the field.

“Now its Rapist-berger and the cheese heads,” Piven said, referring to Sunday’s Steelers-Packers matchup.

“The cheesy rape burger,” he then riffed, drawing chuckles from another man in the room.

Piven lamented being caught on camera but he should be happy that TMZ was there for a change. Someone heard what he was trying to say. He needed a burger good enough for Ben Roethlisberger. He needed one sloppy like Big Ben’s game with college girls and with enough cheese to back him up in case of another sushi attack. The guys from Epic Meal Time heard his cry and came up with the Sloppy Roethlisberger.

20 pounds of beef. 20 pounds of bacon, pork slab, cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce and a bun that would even impress Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Have a little Four Loko Chili on the side along with Four Loko in a cup made of bacon. Don’t you want to taste “crazy alcohol rainbow pig”? Super Bowl party. Super Bowl angioplasty. Same thing.

Would a Molesty-berger be a normal sized version of the Sloppy Roethlisberger? Big Ben would probably throw down on both of them when he’s not busy finding his religion. That’s him in the corner…with your little sister.

I don’t read Monday Morning Quarterback by Peter King, unless it’s first filtered here. But, serendipity has permitted Peter King to uncover perhaps the most interesting pre-Super Bowl storyline. Well, that and that little matter about the 2011 season going the way of NBC’s Joey.

Ben Roethlisberger has twice been accused of sexual assault, and so, he was suspended for six games this season by the NFL, which was later reduced to four games. Roethlisberger, who apparently believes that sexual assault is not worth more then a couple games riding the pine, thought that the penalty was unduly harsh. NFL Commissioner and “workaholic” Roger Goodell spoke with a number of Roethlisberger’s teammates and basically confirmed what every casual NFL fan already knew; most people who know Big Ben think he’s an asshole.

Tell me again how tough it is to travel to fun places and talk to famous athletes Peter King:

Goodell said he “doesn’t feel any connection” with Ben Roethlisberger. Not too surprising there. I’d always heard Roethlisberger felt he got railroaded on his six-game suspension that was reduced to four. But Goodell said he had “some very tough times” with Chicago defensive tackle Tank Johnson before suspending him, and that Donte’ Stallworth chafed when first told he’d be suspended for a year after a car Stallworth was driving struck a man on a Miami causeway and killed him, with the player being legally drunk at the time.
“The one thing I take a little bit of issue with is when guys tell me they’re being screwed,” Goodell said. “[Most often] they’re not recognizing they have a role in it.” Regarding Roethlisberger, Goodell said when he was investigating what to do with the quarterback, he talked to “I bet two dozen players … Not one, not a single player, went to his defense. It wasn’t personal in a sense, but all kinds of stories like, ‘He won’t sign my jersey.’ ”

Great job, Peter King. Somebody deserves a treat (dangles sardine in front of King until he kneels, and claps his flippers)

But is this even really news? Former Steelers Linebacker Joey Porter called out Roethlisberger in 2006. It’s not like it was a secret that Roethlisberger is a douche.

As we already know, America loves winners. Therefore, you’ll never guess what happened this week during Super Bowl press conferences when Steelers teammates were asked about Goodell’s assertion.

Drop my jaw to the floor ProFootballTalk:

Steelers linebacker James Farrior, however, said it’s simply not true for Goodell to claim that no one on the Steelers went to bat for Roethlisberger.

“I was highly upset about the whole situation,” Farrior said. “When Roger Goodell came to us in the preseason, I think I was the guy that asked him a lot of the questions about Ben. I was pretty upset about it. I really didn’t get any answers from him that I was looking for, but I was definitely disappointed in what the verdict was and how they proceeded. I definitely didn’t think he should be suspended four games.”

Poppycock! Roethlisberger has always been popular with his teammates. Let’s hope Roethlisberger uses his newfound people skills to diffuse the situation and doesn’t try to “force” the issue with his teammates before the big game.

America loves winners. Winners always get the girl. Winners beat up losers, and then defecate on their wimpy Hybrid sedan. Winners order the largest steak in the vegan restaurant and then ride the rest of the cow home to the theme from Bonanza.

Winners make money, drive fast, park in handicapped spaces, and win football games. Winners, even if they are jerks, sell tickets. It’s the reason we have to put up with Deion “Prime Time” Sanders and Michael “Premium Cut Cocaine” every Sunday on the NFL Network during football season (If that’s true, then why is Cris Carter employed?) It’s the reason people pretend to like Michael Jordan. The reason people tolerate Tiger Woods.

The problem is, even if we know it’s not true, America still chooses to believe that winners are virtuous, that the poor can some-day become rich, and the G-spot exists. In short, we love winners, we love building them up, tearing them down, and then rebuilding them.

Enter Ben Roethlisberger, elit(ist) quarterback for the hubristic Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers organization would like you to believe that somewhere between Big Ben getting drafted 11th Overall in 2004, winning two Superbowls and twice being accused of sexual assault, he abandoned the virtuous ways of “Steelers football.” The organization, and even the NFL, would have you believe that they operate with some kind of halo over them.

Just before the 2010 NFL season commenced the Steelers traded wide receiver Santonio Holmes to the New York Jets for a 5th round draft pick allegedly to “send a message” to their troubled QB. Message heard: the QB stays because he’s a winner. Holmes is a winner too, but we can get a wide receiver easier then a QB.

Big Ben also convinced NFL Commissioner Roger “Mussolini” Goodell that he had reformed his ways in the two months between his accusation of sexual assault and when training camp started, so his suspension was summarily reduced from six games to four. Lesson learned; if you’re a quarterback with two rings, you get the benefit of the doubt. Winners are always right.

So from now until Sunday, we will be treated to countless stories of how THIS Ben Roethlisberger is a changed man. A better man. He is no longer the sexual deviant, and arrogant dine-and-ditcher out of Miami of Ohio.

Why, he’s even found religion! Don’t see him praying after each game right in front of the camera! He moved his parents to Pittsburgh to be closer to him! He nurses baby calfs each morning and feeds ice cream to deer!

Hooray! Now drink my shots, bitches!

There is talk already about Roethlisberger’s changes. He won’t be interviewed for stories focused on him, but he’s reportedly engaged and word around town is he’s spending fewer nights in bars and rediscovering the religious base of his childhood.
This will all be amplified to push the narrative of Roethlisberger becoming a some sort of hero.
But, really, all that matters is that Roethlisberger — even with a sloppy two-interception game against the Jets — is playing some of the best football of his career. He ranked fifth in passer rating this season with the NFL’s second-lowest interception percentage, a unique combination of mobility and arm strength boosted by the experience of 110 NFL starts.

To be clear, Roethlisberger is not a good guy. But he’s a winner. America loves winners. Sorry, Dan Marino.

This is art

I was on vacation last week so this is a week old but I still have to talk about it. Carnegie Mellon University has an art exhibition going on that might just blind those people that aren’t a part of the Steelers Nation. Not because of all the black and gold that will be present, but because people might actually be gauging their own eyeballs out. Its entitled “‘Whatever It Takes: Steelers Fan Collections, Rituals, and Obsessions” and is a Steelers fan’s wet dream but probably an art buff’s worst nightmare.

How does the gallery justify an exhibition of this sort?  This is how:

…the exhibition, a first of its kind, looks at the ingenious methods Steelers fans use to construct their own personal and social identities in relation to the team.

“Steelers culture is Pittsburgh’s popular culture, and the fans are its primary creative force,” Rubin said.

The first of its kind? Might be the last of its kind. Here’s a brief list of what is going to be at this interactive “art” exhibit taken directly from CMU’s website (my own emphasis added) and the Post Gazette:

  • A tour of Denny DeLuca’s homemade Steelers Den, which has been moved in its entirety from his basement into the gallery.
  • New episodes of Jim Shearer’s weekly, low-budget Web show, “Yinz Luv ‘Da Stillers,” which is produced entirely from his bedroom.
  • Visitors to the gallery will be able to contribute to the exhibition by re-enacting Franco Harris’ famous catch and becoming part of the unforgettable “Immaculate Reception” footage
  • Lem Apperson’s nylon SuperFan costume on a mannequin
  • And of course…Roethlispoodle

This is Roethlispoodle

Finally, the only real reason anyone should want to attend this exhibition is that friend of the Deuce, Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies will have a slide show of their classic “Great Moments in Unlicensed Pittsburgh Sports Merchandise” series. Art, hardly, hilarious slides, definitely.

While I know I am not a great art historian or even a lover of fine art, c’mon, the majority of this is stuff isn’t really artistic. Portions of it, sure, there’s some art in there, but overall, its not an art collection. It is something that belongs in a museum, not a gallery, but hey, it will be a lot of fun for Steelers fans out there and that is what is all about I guess.

Truthfully, I think what really ticks me off more is that you know Dan Snyder is looking at this and trying to figure out some way he can take this concept and monetize it somehow. I despise that little man so much…