Uncle Moe’s family feed bag and racist white sports media ombudsman Jason Whitlock is unafraid to tackle the topics of discussion that are just too real for the punks in Bristol.

New York Knicks basketball hasn’t been relevant since the Gold Club days, but don’t you whisper a word of that to the sports writers that are wrapped up in the fever that is Jeremy “couch surfing legend” Lin, who has managed to string together an impressive seven-game winning streak with two selfish overrated divas all-stars out of the lineup.

Whitlock has caught the attention of this website before, what with his professorial knowledge of sex-based commerce, and his insistence that the Tea Party is not so bad.

Whitlock recently weighed in (ahem) with a tweet about Jeremy Lin’s anatomy based upon cheap stereotypes. I know this because this website, and it’s writers, are highly dependent upon these stereotypes to keep the lights on and the water running.

Whitlock, likely at the urging of Fox Sports, dropped an apology on us and we thought we would give it a quick read.

I get Linsanity.

I get people celebrating unselfish, effective play for a mediocre team with two huge primadonnas in the country’s largest sports market.

I’ve cried watching Tiger Woods win a major golf championship. Jeremy Lin, for now, is the Tiger Woods of the NBA. I suspect Lin makes Asian Americans feel the way I feel when I watch Tiger play golf.

Jeremy Lin will call his whores and politely insist they delete all his text messages. He will also cut a $10 million check to torpedo a press conference. Also, Yao Ming never took the court for the Harvard/Yale game.

For Asian Americans and a lot of sports fans, his nationally televised 38-point outburst was the equivalent of Tiger’s first victory in The Masters.

I sincerely doubt it. Why? Oh maybe because “Asian Americans” don’t sit huddled in the middle of each major city’s Chinatown with little flags waving them in jubilation at a small black-and-white television set in the back of a takeout joint like Whitlock wants you to believe. Whitlock is trying to relate to you Asians, so just try to UNDERSTAND DAH WORDS DAT ARE COMAHN OUTTAH HIZZ MOUFF.

I got caught up in the excitement.

I was trying to be clever on Twitter. IS THAT TOO REAL FOR YOU PEOPLE!!?

I tweeted about what a great story Lin is and how he could rival Tim Tebow.

Except that Tebow had a tremendous college career, alienated many Americans with his views on abortion, and then had an improbable SEASON LONG run that culminated with the Broncos entering the postseason. Lin’s played well for six games.

I then gave in to another part of my personality — my immature, sophomoric, comedic nature. It’s been with me since birth, a gift from my mother and honed as a child listening to my godmother’s Richard Pryor albums.

Notice how Whitlock subtly takes cover behind his mother to try to buttress well-deserved criticism. DO WHAT YOU WILL TO ME BUT LEAVE MY POOR MOTHER OUT OF IT!

Also, don’t you ever, ever, try to drag Brewster’s millions, and the writer of Blazing Saddles into this!

The couple-inches-of-pain tweet overshadowed my sincere celebration of Lin’s performance and the irony that the stereotype applies to pot-bellied, overweight male sports writers, too.

The irony that I accuse everyone in the WORLD of harboring racist views and then you tweet about a Chinese/Taiwanese basketball player.

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