Newcastle Is Finally Back Where It Belongs

Regardless of your feelings about Newcastle, there’s no question that they belong in the Premier League. There’s always the danger of a newly promoted team going right back down like West Brom who I’m convinced do it on purpose. However Magpie supporters can feel confident that their team is back.

It has nothing to do with sitting 5th in the table and beating Arsenal this past weekend. It has everything to do with their supporters letting it all hang out again.

Welcome back, Geordies. Now someone please explain the origin of the word. No one from England has been able to give me a proper explanation. It’s like asking someone from Indiana to define “Hoosier” or explain how Andy Reid still has a job.

Wheelchair Double Back Flip

Your chance to catch a glimpse at the future of the X Games after enough spinal injuries happen. ITS EXTREME WHEELCHAIR!  Actually, if its the X Games, they’d probably name it like X-WHEELIE STREET VERT or something impossibly stupid like that. Nevertheless, flipping that heavy ass chair around twice is pretty impressive. Also impressive, this has never been done before. Watch Aaron Fotheringham flip it.

You Think You’re Having A Bad Day?

Check this fan from QPR. That’s Queens Park Rangers to you non-soccer fans. It’s an understatement to say that he’s took their Carling Cup loss to Port Vale poorly. Warning: NSFW language.

The only way you would know Port “Fucking” Vale is if you are a Port Vale supporter or are madly obsessed with Robbie Williams. They’re his favorite team and currently reside in League 2 which would be similar to “A” baseball. QPR is in the Championship which could be considered the soccer equivalent of “AAA” so it’s understandable why this guy was be so pissed off.

We’ve been warning you about the impending animal revolution ever since we started this here blog. Whether it’s been by post or Tweet, we’ve warned you not to take the animals for granted. They get smarter, quicker and faster while we lounge around calling them cute. I’m here to inform you that shit just got real.

The monkeys (especially chimps and baboons) were always the main concern but they were just a distraction. Let us introduce you to the harpy eagle otherwise known as the “monkey-eating eagle”. That’s right. David Falk ate cap space. This bird of prey eats fucking monkeys. Well not monkeys relating to each other but… You get the point.

The insanity doesn’t stop there. This eagle also eats sloths, deer and pigs. Guess who’s next? You guessed it. The BBC found out the hard way.

Big deal. It’s just a bird. How much damage could it do?

[Filmmaker Fergus] Beeley’s documentary-makers had to wear protective clothing including helmets, stab-proof kevlar vests and elbow and wrist guards, while working at platforms 40-50m high in a humidity that left them “permanently sweating”.

As well as the defensive attack on Aldred, the female harpy eagle hit one man in the kidneys and tore another’s leather thigh protection. “Most birds of prey are frightened of people, but this one is not,” said Beeley, whose team eventually fitted a nest-cam.

The bird has talons up to 5 in. long. It takes out monkeys and sloths in case you forgot.

Maybe we should let the harpy eagles and monkeys fight it out. That strategy may not have worked in the Middle East and South Asia but it’s worth a shot here. There is the chance that they call a truce and join forces. If that happens, we may be faced with a third front in the war of terror. That’s a risk we don’t want or need.

Anyone who has access to BBC2 should tune in to “The Monkey-Eating Eagle of the Orinoco“. Study their ways and report back. We need all the information we can get.

Say what you will about Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal but England were shit and deservedly beaten like rented mules. The back four was a disaster when they could be found for starters. Let’s not talk about the disappearance of Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard as well as the inexplicable sidelining of Joe Cole.

There are many other reasons for England’s failure such as a lack of younger players to rejuvenate the squad. The intense pressure from the media and public to win puts the team in an no-win situation. It’s easy to see the fear on their faces before matches. Any rational person knows England have no chance of winning the World Cup yet the papers and supporters talk about it as though it’s a done deal every time an international competition comes around.

Much of the blame will be placed on Fabio Capello for his selections, tactics and inability to motivate the players to fight. The stupid thing is that he can’t be fired because he signed an extension before the World Cup and the FA can’t afford to fire him. Typical. Whatever can be said about him, no one can’t say that he didn’t care. Don’t believe us? Let’s go to the tape.

Sven may have had a better track record and laid more pipe in secretaries than an oil company but he was killed by the press and viewing public for not looking like he cared. Somehow we’re pretty sure Capello won’t have that problem.