Just over one year ago choke artist Lebron James ripped our collective Cleveland hearts out of our big, fat, unemployed chests when he uttered the now imfamous “taking (his) talents to South Beach” staging a public divorce from his hometown team (well, not really, I mean he grew up in Akron, not Cleveland but Akron doesn’t have an NBA team, so suck it) and the only team he had played for professionally (he probably got paid at SVSM, but semantics).

Cleveland went on to finish with the second worst record in the NBA but did manage to lock up two of the top four draft picks in the worst NBA draft in years. Typical.

While ‘The Decision’ was savaged by the media, including ESPN, the worldwide leader in sports is now sticking a small makeshift scarecrow outside of their hole to see if Elmer Fudd has left yet. They are now attempting to recast Lebron and ESPN’s collectively selfish, and transparent tv special as a noble, and selfless act.

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If the digital age has taught us anything its that athletes are complex individuals; often capable of trenchant, thought-provoking, musings over forums like Facebook, and especially Twitter.  Over…dong shots.  We can only wonder, then, why so many of them choose to employ publicists, agents, and armies of people to protect their precious images.

Rebound relationship and Cleveland Cavaliers rookie guard Kyrie Irving told police yesterday that a 24-year-old model and Bronx resident was harassing him via twitter.

Irving, 19, filed a harassment complaint against Jessica Jackson, a 24-year-old Bronx resident who he met on Twitter under the username @MissHawaii, police said.

The basketball star told police that Jackson, a model, contacted him via Twitter earlier today, violating the no contact order issued by West Orange Municipal Judge Margaret Pavovano on Tuesday.

According to the police report, Irving said he received “terroristic threats” from Jackson between March 22 and May 17. He filed a harassment complaint May 17.

Blacksportsonline is now reporting that Miss Hawaii, real name Jessica Jackson, may actually be a call girl (bow tie spins, eyes pop out of head).  She claims she has video of Kyrie flogging the bishop, too.  Wait, you mean to tell me that a professional athlete was associating with a person reportedly in the sex trade!?

The site also reports that Miss Hawaii sent a series of threatening messages to Irving, and even made comments about his deceased mother. I usually just ask them to walk me around like I’m a pony and put cigarettes out on my tongue.

These days, it’s good to be Michael Wilbon of ESPN and formerly of the Washington Post. Michael Wilbon gets to talk sports for a living, and he enjoys some of the best access in the business.

Michael Wilbon loves to talk about his famous professional athlete friends, notably Charles Barkley, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and Irvin “Magic” Johnson. Oh, you didn’t know Magic still went by Irvin? Well, Wilbon is so close that he refuses to call him Magic. Wilbon won’t criticize washed up QB Donovan McNabb either, no matter how many coaches give up on him, because they are good friends as well. Wilbon will sing the praises of the talented and flawed individuals because they gave him access during their playing days and because any relationship they have with him legitimizes the biases that Wilbon flaunts on a daily basis. Of course, while Wilbon is reticent to criticize his A-list birthday guests, he will still gladly take shots at others, including organizations, that have unpleasant dealings with his friends.

Wilbon also likes to use his blatant favoritism to try to appear fresh and contrarian. Take the latest example. Wilbon recently penned a column on ESPN.Com defending the much-ballyhooed “Decision” by All-world egomaniac LeBron James. Why? Well, because it brought interest back to the NBA.

Kick me in the groining hard, and don’t stop until I either pass out from the pain or utter the safe word, ESPN:

“The Decision” was roundly criticized by virtually everybody, but it was exactly — flaws and all — what the NBA needed. People who didn’t have a strong opinion of James either way suddenly had them. Nobody seemed to straddle the line anymore. You liked him or hated him, liked or hated the Heat, and you could not or did not look away.

Oh, really? Michael Griffin in LA, Derrick Rose in Chicago, Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder’s improbable run, and ‘Melo’s trade to the Knicks, all played a role. So did the Lakers’ constant sniping.

As for hatred for LeBron, that didn’t just appear out of thin air one morning at your Scottsdale mansion, Wilbon. Out here in D.C. LeBron hate was real for three seasons when the CAVS sent the Wizards home each postseason meeting. Out in Detroit, hatred for the Cavaliers, and especially LeBron was bubbling over when they came back to defeat the Pistons en route to the NBA finals in 2007. The Boston Celtics, and particularly Paul Pierce have hated LeBron since his AAU days. The Orlando Magic hated LeBron too, for his classless gesture after being defeated in 2008.

One more, and then I really do need to go:

And television isn’t the only place where increased interest in the NBA is reflected. NBA.com reports that page views are up 40 percent over last season, video streams are up 130 percent and NBA mobile downloads are up 75 percent. Traffic to NBA content on ESPN.com has increased dramatically as well, with some categories approaching triple-digit increases. If it’s too soon to say the NBA is in the middle of a full-fledged renaissance, at the very least the league has seen a resurgence, probably even an explosion.

And it’s entirely because of LeBron James.

The Heat drew fan attention because it’s a team of two of the best players in the league, and a third player who is in the top 15. LeBron could have faxed his notice and the interest would have still been huge. Also, there was just a lot of entertaining ball this season; the league has a few new stars and has finally moved beyond just marketing Kobe and LeBron.

Whenever I see Wilbon on PTI I think about what a chubby little shit he must have been growing up in Chicago. I think about how he probably didn’t have many friends, and how in gym class he hung from the chin up bar with his gut tumbling out and his arms aching as everybody laughed him trying to do a single pull up out. Too bad my time machine is busted or I would totally go back in time and pay some children to kick his ass.

Do you know those flashback scenes from Terminator when Kyle Reese fades out and you see the sky is pitch black and there is rubble and bodies everywhere? That’s what Cleveland’s downtown looks like in 2011. The city is bleeding population, and jobs, and the most famous athlete since Jim Brown bolted for better weather, and to play with his butt buddies, Dwayne Wade, and Chris “Me Too” Bosh.

In January, evildoer Lebron James tweeted out the now-infamous “karma is a bitch” tweet. Lebron denied he was talking about his former team, who were catching a beating from the Lakers that eventually shook out to 112-57, but Lebron is a goddamn liar so nobody believed him. Sunday, the Bulls handed the Miami Heat a 21-point beating that should have been filed in a police report as an assault. Tuesday night, Dan Gilbert delivered the first good news on the CAVS front in some time. Don’t call karma names, Lebron!

Taste the happy, ESPN:

The Cavs will select first for the first time since 2003, when they drafted James out of high school.

He left for Miami last summer and the Cavs tumbled to the second-worst record in the league, but they will have two top-four picks next month as they try to back owner Dan Gilbert’s boast that they would win a title before James. They already had their own pick and acquired another at the trade deadline from the Clippers in the deal for Baron Davis.

It is also worth noting that Cleveland Browns players Joshua Cribbs, and Joe Haden were there, along with Bernie Kosar. Cribbs and Haden were rooting for the CAVS, Kosar was going to ask for a loan from Dan Gilbert.

Ciroc, The Wizards and Me: A Love Story

Obviously, I love sports, I run a sports blog for crying out loud. I also, and you might not know this, love me some alcohol, especially free alcohol. Last night, these two great loves formed like Voltron into one fantastic event thanks to the good people of Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodkas when they invited myself and a bunch of other fellow bloggers and media members out to watch the Wizards play the Celtics at the Verizon Center.

The reason Ciroc was throwing this bash (other than to provide us with samples of their fine alcohol) was to promote responsible drinking and providing all event goers free metro cards so they could have a safe ride home after the game without any sort of drunk driving going on. I even personally took the metro home after the game. Buzzed driving is drunk driving kids, remember that.  Take a cab or public transportation if you’re boozing it up like a champ.

Anyway, I was there with Punte (aka Josh Zerkle aka Monday Morning Punter) from With Leather, the House of Punte Podcast and Kissing Suzy Kolber, Phil the main man from Gunaxin, Don Everest from TheMatadorSports and Kevin Burke from The Hoop Doctors amongst others….including the gorgeous Ciroc girls and Wizards cheerleaders.  You want pics? You got pics. Bam. Read the rest of this entry