Seriously, what the hell is Shane Ryan doing writing on Grantland? Didn’t he get the memo that this thing was really just supposed to be Bill Simmons masturbation project? Bill Simmons gets to lazily write about the NBA and make arbitrary lists of his favorite celebrities, and movies, and we get to grind our teeth into dust.

Ryan should set the bar a little lower next time.

In May, Fliehr and a group of other wrestlers, including Scott Hall (“Razor Ramon”) and Virgil Runnels III (“Dustin Rhodes a.k.a. Goldust”) were on a chartered flight back to the United States after a series of shows in Europe. They began drinking, and the situation quickly deteriorated. Two flight attendants, Taralyn Cappellano and Heidi Doyle, would compile their allegations into a 2004 lawsuit. Chief among the chronicled misdeeds was Fliehr’s sexual aggression. He wore nothing but a jeweled cape, the flight attendants said, and “flashed his nakedness, spinning his penis around.”

They don’t call him the nature boy for nothing! AMMMIYRIGHT? (High fives frat brothers, flashes penis to neighbors).

As much as it pains me to admit it, Ryan’s piece on the sad state of affairs in Flair country is easily the best thing that has appeared on the site so far. Why? Because unlike some asshole who remembered an interview that Will Smith gave in 2007, Ryan appears to have done real reporting. Sure, there have been other articles about Flair’s troubles (Editor’s note: What does it say about North Carolina, or Flair, if he was seriously considering a run for Governor?) but this thing is way more detailed and comprehensive. Will this inspire the DoD staff to strive to bring you better, stronger, and edgier content? No, no it probably will not.

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