The Honey Badger Doesn’t Give A Shit

Wisconsin should have started 11 honey badgers on defense in the Rose Bowl instead of a bunch of oversized corn-fed boys. They would have stopped Tank Carder and TCU. You don’t think so? It takes several whacks from a machete to put them down. Wikipedia suggests using a club or a “powerful rifle” to kill a honey badger. Apparently their skin is “impervious to arrows and spears”. Here’s something the honey badger never suspected. Will it blend? Didn’t see that coming, did you? Stupid badger.

We could go on all day about the crazy nasty ass honey badger but we’ll let Randall fill you in. Here’s your nature lesson for the day.

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants. Kind of like Cam Newton and his dad.

I loved living in Madison besides the winters. I had a great time and met people who I still consider good friends to this day. There were also a random cast of characters who were familiar to anyone who spent time living or hanging out in downtown Madison. One of them was nicknamed “Boot”.

Boot is the former owner of Jocko’s Rocket Ship Bar who’s currently serving time in federal prison for allowing his bar to be used as a coke den. However, few know that he used to be Bucky the Badger during his college days. His employment as Bucky came to an abrupt end when he got shitfaced before a Wisconsin game. He ended up puking and passing out. Did we mention he was wearing the Bucky costume at the time? Some good samaritans picked him up and threw him in the back of a pickup. They dumped his limp, drunken body on the chancellor’s lawn instead of taking him to the hospital or waiting until he woke up. Needless to say, he missed the game and was promptly fired.

That brings us to today and Penn State where the legend of Boot lives on in the Nittany Lion.

Current Nittany Lion mascot Clint Gyory was charged with one count each of misdemeanor public drunkenness and criminal mischief Aug. 24 in connection with an incident that occurred Aug. 1, the State College Police Department said.

Police said Gyory (junior-business management) had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath and registered a blood-alcohol content (BAC) of .187 at the time he was cited.

Gyory, 20, was intoxicated and crawled into the bed of a pickup truck on the 200 block of E. Fairmount Ave. where he passed out, police said.

Gyory also broke a rearview mirror off of a vehicle and took it, police said.

Gyory will not lion up for the month of September. There’s no confirmation on who will wear the Nittany Lion costume this weekend when Penn State plays Youngstown State. Whoever dons the outfit better be able to pick up where Gyory left off. Two years and running. Tradition has to start somewhere. We are Penn State! Well you are. I’m not.