The Honey Badger Doesn’t Give A Shit

Wisconsin should have started 11 honey badgers on defense in the Rose Bowl instead of a bunch of oversized corn-fed boys. They would have stopped Tank Carder and TCU. You don’t think so? It takes several whacks from a machete to put them down. Wikipedia suggests using a club or a “powerful rifle” to kill a honey badger. Apparently their skin is “impervious to arrows and spears”. Here’s something the honey badger never suspected. Will it blend? Didn’t see that coming, did you? Stupid badger.

We could go on all day about the crazy nasty ass honey badger but we’ll let Randall fill you in. Here’s your nature lesson for the day.

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants. Kind of like Cam Newton and his dad.

It’s almost over, soccer haters. The World Cup is coming to a close. The final and 3rd place games are all that remain. You can go back to fellating LeBron James and Brett Favre. Next week, it’s back to feeling empty for a month until NFL training camps and European club football start again. No longer will you have an excuse to drink excessively for days on end or watch sports at work. Your liver and boss probably won’t complain.

We’ll miss the spectacle of the World Cup and easy excuse to embrace xenophobia. However it won’t be hard to say goodbye to the vuvuzela. They turned into white noise after the first several games but we were also comforted by the knowledge that they would stay in South Africa. We could go back to piped in music and cheers over stadium/arena speakers after July 11th.

Good riddance to vuvuzelas. I don’t need to worry that a swarm of bees is attacking from all directions. They even drive people to kill. Who better than to send the vuvuzela back to China* than the good people of Will It Blend?

* Where did you think vuvuzelas were made? Same place as everything else.