Legedu Naanee asks the Patriots why they're being such (expletive) and not letting Vincent Jackson catch the ball.

“Do you know who I am?” Anyone who’s a regular listener of Tony Kornheiser’s radio show** knows his signature line when they hear it. He gets away with the running joke. Chargers wide receiver Legedu Naanee does not.

Naanee was arrested and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest after refusing to leave an active crime scene.

According to police, Naanee came across an active crime scene at about 3:20 a.m. and was told he would have to turn around or go in another direction. Naanee, who according to police had a “strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on or about his breath or person,” asked the officer why he was being “such an (expletive).”

The police officer said after several attempts to get Naanee to leave the scene failed, he told Naanee he was under arrest. Naanee “actively began to pull away” and the officer used pepper spray but Naanee continued to resist.

Eventually he was handcuffed and as he was being walked to the police car, Naanee said, according to police, “Do you know who I am? I am an NFL player and I’m going to sue your ass.”

Quoting Kornheiser didn’t work for Naanee. Maybe he should have channeled Joe Namath and said, “I want to kiss you”.

Naanee’s agent, Buddy Baker, waited until Naanee resisted and was handcuffed before he intervened. He told the cop that he “was going to ruin [Naanee's] career”. That’s a bit of an overreaction. Marvin Lewis is still a head coach. There’s always a place for an oft-injured, average to mediocre player on the Bengals.

Why wouldn’t a police officer in Indianapolis should know about the legend they call Naanee, the twin brother of Nanu and son of Mork from Ork? Shazbot! What’s going on there anyway? Football players have been getting wrecked in that city ever since Mike Vanderjagt became the “idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth”. Now it’s contagious. Imagine what’s going to happen when the Super Bowl comes to town next season. Somebody take the keys away from Leonard Little and Donte Stallworth!

It was only late last year when Naanee was accused of putting someone in the hospital with “internal head injuries and a broken nose”. He was later cleared of any involvement.

…Naanee, 27, was asked if it was a relief that police concluded he was not involved in the fight. Naanee said, “Not for me. I mean, I never really was a suspect in the first place, but I’m grateful that the police came out and said that.”

When he was asked about the lessons learned from the incident, he said, “You’ve just got to remind yourself that you can go out as much as you want but you’ve got to remind yourself about the things that can happen, and that’s really all I can say about it.”

Chargers head coach Norv Turner said he spoke to Naanee about late-night partying, which he said isn’t a good idea when there is an important practice the next day.

Well there we are. Everyone knows no one listens to Norv Turner. He should have told Naanee to party his ass off. He would have stayed dry or continually dropped his drinks before accomplishing his mission. It would have been just like the Chargers in the playoffs. One big fail after another. The Super Bowl was only a week ago. It’s way too soon for anything Chargers related to succeed.

I can’t believe I dropped references from Mork and Mindy in this post. I’m not far away from dropping some Small Wonder and Vic Tayback on your ass.

** The show isn’t as good as it was when it consisted of Kornheiser, Andy Polin and Nigel but what are you going to do? Listen to Mike Wise? Try to tolerate Colin Cowherd? Focus on work?

ESPN Wants to “Culture” Texas Viewers

MMA Expert Turd Ferguson has tired of destroying MMA fighters.  He wants to go after something bigger: ESPN.

After a nice run in 1990′s, ESPN transmogrified into that abusive ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend, right Chuck Finley?) that you just wish like hell would go away for good. Sure, you still treasure the good times (Dan Patrick, Craig Kilborn), or the stuff that he/she still has that nobody else could offer (Monday Night Football, Tony Kornheiser) but you also recognize that the things that you liked at first (Chris Berman, Michael Wilbon) we’re never that good in the first place and are quickly destroying your life.

The “Worldwide Leader in Sports” (or just along the Eastern Corridor, Dallas, and the West Coast) recently inked a $300 million, 20-year television deal with the University of Texas.  For those of you looking for that Vince Young Longhornography, keep looking:

Non-athletic fare is likely to run for about three hours a day and include musical performances, plays, and documentaries by faculty members and students, Powers said. Details are yet to be worked out.

‘This will be high-level, entertaining cultural, music, scientific, Discovery Channel, History Channel kind of stuff,’ Powers said. ‘And we have a team put together working on it, and that will be done in collaboration with ESPN.’

Yes, because the last thing we would want on a sports channel would be sports, right? Remember the Alamo!

Also, ESPN is adding a new channel for the University of Texas and all viewers will get is one or two additional football games? That’s like when television networks try to air a cool movie, say “The Departed,” but then have to edit the hell out of it to the point where you are pretty much a lip reader by the end of the movie. What did he just say? GOD I AM SO LOST!

Or, they try to lure you in with movies of the week like “Goodfellas” but bombard you with weeknight schlock like “The Mummy Returns” or “Phone Booth.”  DECEPTIVE!

Similarly, how is Herm Edwards still employed? And why hasn’t anyone attempted to muzzle Chris Broussard?

Some mysteries in our universe will never be solved.

Why I’m Done with Bill Simmons

In the midst of recovering from a debilitating food-borne illness, my motivation for posting was sapped, along with my will to breathe, eat, and basically do anything other than sleep. However, inspired by what took place yesterday, I realized I needed to give it a shot. Read the rest of this entry

Tony Reali is the guy who has had a career path that is easy to envy: a New York kid out of Fordham who started off at ESPN as an entry-level researcher/writer, then became “Stat Boy” and soon thereafter, fell into the “Around the Horn” chair.  On television, he comes across as a jovial guy who plays the perfect foil to Tony and Mike on “PTI” while corralling the likes of Bill Plaschke on “Horn” (he gets major points for this).  Apparently, he’s also an extremely passionate intramural soccer player.

A close friend from way back in the day plays in the same co-ed intramural soccer league.  On Monday night, her team faced off against Reali’s in a playoff game.  Here is her story about going up against “Stat Boy:” Read the rest of this entry

We’ve been warning you about the impending animal revolution ever since we started this here blog. Whether it’s been by post or Tweet, we’ve warned you not to take the animals for granted. They get smarter, quicker and faster while we lounge around calling them cute. I’m here to inform you that shit just got real.

The monkeys (especially chimps and baboons) were always the main concern but they were just a distraction. Let us introduce you to the harpy eagle otherwise known as the “monkey-eating eagle”. That’s right. David Falk ate cap space. This bird of prey eats fucking monkeys. Well not monkeys relating to each other but… You get the point.

The insanity doesn’t stop there. This eagle also eats sloths, deer and pigs. Guess who’s next? You guessed it. The BBC found out the hard way.

Big deal. It’s just a bird. How much damage could it do?

[Filmmaker Fergus] Beeley’s documentary-makers had to wear protective clothing including helmets, stab-proof kevlar vests and elbow and wrist guards, while working at platforms 40-50m high in a humidity that left them “permanently sweating”.

As well as the defensive attack on Aldred, the female harpy eagle hit one man in the kidneys and tore another’s leather thigh protection. “Most birds of prey are frightened of people, but this one is not,” said Beeley, whose team eventually fitted a nest-cam.

The bird has talons up to 5 in. long. It takes out monkeys and sloths in case you forgot.

Maybe we should let the harpy eagles and monkeys fight it out. That strategy may not have worked in the Middle East and South Asia but it’s worth a shot here. There is the chance that they call a truce and join forces. If that happens, we may be faced with a third front in the war of terror. That’s a risk we don’t want or need.

Anyone who has access to BBC2 should tune in to “The Monkey-Eating Eagle of the Orinoco“. Study their ways and report back. We need all the information we can get.