Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Life's A Sport. Drink It Up, Dawg.

Elijah Dukes could teach the Cavs about rebounding. He didn't waste any time getting over his last relationship. What better way to show the world that you're over the mother of your children than by having another child by a child?

Sports by Brooks reports via the St. Petersburg Times that the Devil Ray's Elijah Dukes impregnated a 17 year old foster child living with his step-grandmother. Police say no crime was committed as the sex was consensual but the foster home is under investigation for some reason.

The girl informed Dukes about the pregnancy along with another family member. He responded by getting mad and throwing a bottle of Gatorade at her.

Dukes' mother managed to keep the situation in perspective.

"He's doing well on the field," she said. "He's doing so good. It's just every time he turns around there's something coming at him."
While we'd like to congratulate him on his fielding percentage as calculated by his mom, bagging an underage girl doesn't count towards a Gold Glove.

Director Woody Allen was asked for comment. "I feel for Elijah. I also can't listen to too much Air Supply. I start getting the urge to conquer underage girls. I mean I hear the first lines of 'Every Woman in the World' and I end up with my foster kid. It happens. Mia knew how I felt about that."

Thanks to SportsbyBrooks and the St. Petersburg Times
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