We Don’t Need Another Hero
You have to hand it to Australian athletes. They’re second to none when it comes to debauchery. Yeah we know we said English soccer players were up there but it’s amateur night when compared to the Australians.
Quokka Chuck Night
100% Injury Rate brought you the story of the Western Force rugby players who were busted after a night of drunken quokka throwing.
The players involved were fined according to whether or not they hammer threw a quokka. However more details are coming out about the infamous Quokka Chuck night and further sanctions could come down.
Western Force player Richard Brown ran naked with a quokka, pissed in front of four female tourists and tried to use a milk crate to trap the little buggers.
Former vice-captain Scott Fava chucked a quokka and was fined $11,000. He’s also required to undergo alcohol counseling and perform seven days of community service.
“Brown started drinking around 4.30pm. After three or four beers, he is anybody’s,” [Western Force Chairman Geoff] Stooke said. “Fava does not drink much at all, but when he does he catches up. He’ll drink six months’ worth of beer in two hours.”
Other Western Force players entered a dorm of four women and wouldn’t leave until another player came to get them. The same woman who made the claim about the players entering the dorm also accused a player of hitting her friend in the face with a quokka as he was swinging it.
Kangaroos And White Wine Don’t Mix
Police were forced to used capsicum spray on Kangaroo player Shannon Grant after he and two teammates were involved in a fight with police at a concert on Saturday. While Grant was being subdued, teammate Aaron Edwards was passed out on the ground after chugging white wine like it was going out of style.
The teammates had been drinking all day at a winery party for “the A Day on the Green concert, promoted as ‘the Big Day Out for grown-ups’”.
Edwards was “skolling from bottles of white wine before he collapsed among the crowd of more than 10,000 at Scotchmans Hill winery”. Hamish McIntosh was also shitfaced and had trouble getting Edwards up while Grant staggered around being useless.
Police were alerted to the scene and that’s when the trouble kicked off. Grant thought Edwards was going to be arrested.
“Shannon said, ‘No, don’t worry, he’s with us, he’ll be all right’, and then Shannon said the police capsicum-sprayed them and led Aaron away,” Mr McDonald said.
Instead of taking him to the hospital, the police took Edwards behind the winery and let him and his girlfriend go. They came back to the other players, gave them water for their eyes and took off.
Now that’s respect for a professional. I guess that’s how they do down under.
I also think I’ve figured out that the Thunderdome is a metaphor for Australia.
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!