Jimmy Connors should consider himself lucky that he was arrested on Friday night. Master Blaster wouldn’t have been as forgiving if he entered the Thunderdome. Others have been killed for less.
Connors was arrested outside UCSB’s basketball arena otherwise known as the Thunderdome. He refused to leave the front of the building after being told to leave by police after “a confrontation”.
A UC Santa Barbara employee said Conners got into a scuffle with a larger man before the two entered the area. Conners never made it inside. Witnesses said the friction between Conners and the other person actually began with some “elbow throwing” by the ticket booths, and words were exchanged.
Jimmy Connors knows Muay Thai? That must have been one hell of a fight. Fortunately for you, we found a recreation of the confrontation that led to his arrest. We assure you that things went down exactly as portrayed in the video.
If Connors doesn’t get you with his mouth or racket dick, he’ll get you with them ‘bows.
Thank you, Jose Offerman. Your services are no longer needed. Like his hero Offerman, pitcher Olivio Astacio brings new meaning to the phrase “batshit crazy”.
Astacio was released from the Pirates organization yesterday after attacking a teammate with a bat during an argument at extended spring training.
Astacio and the other player were having an argument, the sources said, and Astacio struck the player’s leg with a swing of his bat. He swung again and missed before the incident was broken up.
The other player — who was not identified — is not seriously injured, and no charges have been filed. But Pirates management, already wary of Astacio’s troubled past throughout his professional career, promptly released him Thursday.
Astacio is the Ryan Perrilloux of the minors. He has also been benched for a whole season by the Red Sox for disciplinary reasons and broken his hand in a fight after pitching one game in 2006. No word on whether the Bengals will try to convert him to a football player.
Since we stretched for the post title, we might as well give it to you here and below:
13:45 and counting. No more bullshit. Manchester United is through. One semifinal left. Chelsea vs. Liverpool. 2:45 EST. Only one genre has the words. Yacht Rock.
You have to hand it to Australian athletes. They’re second to none when it comes to debauchery. Yeah we know we said English soccer players were up there but it’s amateur night when compared to the Australians.
The players involved were fined according to whether or not they hammer threw a quokka. However more details are coming out about the infamous Quokka Chuck night and further sanctions could come down.
Western Force player Richard Brown ran naked with a quokka, pissed in front of four female tourists and tried to use a milk crate to trap the little buggers.
Former vice-captain Scott Fava chucked a quokka and was fined $11,000. He’s also required to undergo alcohol counseling and perform seven days of community service.
“Brown started drinking around 4.30pm. After three or four beers, he is anybody’s,” [Western Force Chairman Geoff] Stooke said. “Fava does not drink much at all, but when he does he catches up. He’ll drink six months’ worth of beer in two hours.”
Other Western Force players entered a dorm of four women and wouldn’t leave until another player came to get them. The same woman who made the claim about the players entering the dorm also accused a player of hitting her friend in the face with a quokka as he was swinging it.
Kangaroos And White Wine Don’t Mix
Not wanting to be outdone by rugby, Aussie Rules players decided to step up their game this past weekend and show they know how to get it done as well.
Police were forced to used capsicum spray on Kangaroo player Shannon Grant after he and two teammates were involved in a fight with police at a concert on Saturday. While Grant was being subdued, teammate Aaron Edwards was passed out on the ground after chugging white wine like it was going out of style.
The teammates had been drinking all day at a winery party for “the A Day on the Green concert, promoted as ‘the Big Day Out for grown-ups’”.
Edwards was “skolling from bottles of white wine before he collapsed among the crowd of more than 10,000 at Scotchmans Hill winery”. Hamish McIntosh was also shitfaced and had trouble getting Edwards up while Grant staggered around being useless.
Police were alerted to the scene and that’s when the trouble kicked off. Grant thought Edwards was going to be arrested.
“Shannon said, ‘No, don’t worry, he’s with us, he’ll be all right’, and then Shannon said the police capsicum-sprayed them and led Aaron away,” Mr McDonald said.
Instead of taking him to the hospital, the police took Edwards behind the winery and let him and his girlfriend go. They came back to the other players, gave them water for their eyes and took off.
Now that’s respect for a professional. I guess that’s how they do down under.
I also think I’ve figured out that the Thunderdome is a metaphor for Australia.
Is Jimmy Connors gonna have to choke a bitch?
