David Beckham Knows How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

Say what you will about David Beckham but there aren't many people who can make Los Angeles sports fans legitimately passionate about anything. Too bad they're all about hating him. His return to the Home Depot Center vs. AC Milan was a bit less than pleasant as Galaxy fans made their feelings known about his Milan sabbatical. Let's just say they weren't as welcoming as they were during his 2007 debut against Chelsea.

Beckham was greeted with boos and signs saying things such as "Go Home Fraud" and "23: Repent". Things got interesting at halftime when he walked over and confronted the L.A. Riot Squad section. One supporter responded by leaping out of the stands before being jumped by security. He was arrested for trespassing.

"One of the guys was saying things that wasn't very nice. It was stepping over the line," Beckham said. "I said, `You need to calm down and come shake my hand,' and he jumped over."

Suckering fans into getting arrested isn't going to help Beckham's cause despite setting up both Galaxy goals. It's probably a matter of time before Goldenballs and Posh pack up and head back to Milan or London for good. Chelsea and Spurs have both expressed interest in acquiring the England international.

The anger and resentment of Galaxy fans is understandable but some of the abuse has been over the line. There are arguments to be made on both sides. England manager Fabio Capello told Beckham that he had no chance of making the 2010 World Cup side as long as he played in the MLS due to the quality of play. There's no question that it's much lower than top European leagues such as Serie A or the Premier League. He's simply doing what he has to do.

On the other hand, Beckham made a promise to the Galaxy and American soccer. He committed to playing in the league and raising the profile of the sport in the US. The Galaxy haven't improved because of him. It seems clear that he hasn't done much to raise the profile of the game in the country. He drew massive crowds during his MLS debut season but they've dropped off considerably. If he knew he wanted to play for England in 2010, he should have stayed in Europe to satisfy Capello. Was it a money grab or a chance for his wife to make it big in Hollywood? Check out Grant Wahl's "The Beckham Experiment" for details behind the Beckham fail. If anything, Landon Donovan will be happy to see Beckham leave for good so he can go back to being a big fish in a small pond.

I taste a reality show hit. Taste of Love could be huge in Indonesia and the rest of southeast Asia.

Brooklyn Cyclones Salute Pregnancy

Minor league baseball teams will do anything to get people to games, even appealing to demographics that most sports teams ignore, such as pregnant women. The Brooklyn Cyclones had a salute to pregnancy on Sunday where they offered a centerfield Lamaze class before the game, pregnancy food favorites such as pickles, ice cream, anchovy pizzas etc., a run/walk around the bases, a ceremonial first pitch by women in their 3rd trimester and if any woman gives birth at the stadium before the end of the game, the entire family gets tickets for life.

All pretty nice stuff for them to give out. There was one more giveaway though, and its a doozy. If any mother agrees to name her child "Brooklyn" or "Cy" will get season tickets for life.

Sadly, the kid doesnt get anything for being named after a minor league baseball team except relentless teasing for the rest of his/her life for being the child of an asshat.

From Brooklyn Cyclones

Don't taser my bacon, bro

Derek Jeter Should Have Considered Nashville

Derek Jeter doesn't know a bargain when he sees one. He's currently building what will be the largest home in the Tampa area. This monstrosity could easily hold 10 strip mall strip clubs. He could easily put Ybor City out of business.

How much is Jeter's house? It's impossible to say because "it's one of a kind and unlikely to attract many buyers besides the ultrawealthy". The property, purchased under the name of Kered Connors LLC (Derek spelled backwards), brought in $7.7 million several years ago. It comes in a 30,875 square feet which is approximately the size of a Best Buy store.

Instead of blowing his load outbuilding the owner of an RV empire, Jeter should have considered Steve McNair's house which is currently on the market.


The house is reportedly listed for $3.8M but if you act now, you can get $800,000 off and (wait for it) a football autographed by Steve McNair. What a bargain. Jeter is crazy for not considering this deal. It's a deal. It's a steal. It's the sale of the fucking century. In fact, fuck it. I think I'll buy it myself.


What a fine poster. How could Mr. Yankee say no to such an exclusive house? Who wouldn't love to live in the house of someone who sacrificed for all of us like Jesus? Shout out to my boy Ray Ray.

NASA lost the original footage of the moon landing. Mel Gibson was right. Give me back my truth!

The Matador's BCS National Championship Favorites

The Matador can't help but feel sorry for folks like Mr. Walker. So if you are reading this 'Tione, go to Reno before your arraignment, sign some of those fake checks and place some money on the 2010 BCS National Championship game futures. If you go to jail, by the time you get out, you will have a little next egg.

Now, the favored to win the 2010 BCS National Championship Game is Florida at 2/1. It's a solid bet, but before you jump on the Gator bandwagon, consider these other teams:

Texas (8/1): The Longhorns will have a potent offense and will simply win by outscoring their opponents. To be a solid contender, the defense must step up their play and pray opposing offenses have bad days.

Oklahoma (6/1): Oklahoma has a strong Heisman Trophy winner QB, two 1000 yard rushers in the backfield, two players with hands in TE Jermain Gresham and WR Ryan Broyles, but with all that talent, the Sooners have questions as to who will block for them since the O line is young, inexperienced, and untested. The defense returns 9 and showed signs of great improvement towards the end of the season and even held Florida below their scoring average.

Ohio State (11/1) & Penn State (35/1): The Big 10 hasn't been getting much respect these days, but if any of these two teams go undefeated, the winner will be in the BCS National Championship game. I'm leaning towards Penn State simply because their schedule is fairly weak and they play Ohio State at home. JoePa could end the season with the championship trophy in hand.

Notre Dame (25/1): It pains me to say this, but ND is returning a very strong and seasoned offense. Weis will finally get his team back to where ND should be. This team has the schedule to go far. If they can upset USC, there will be BCS and possibly National Championship talk brewing in South Bend.

USC (7/1): It is inevitable USC will lose one game in the regular season. They have seven consecutive Pac 10 titles yet have only one BCS Title during that span. Either the team is overrated or they don't get the respect they deserve. Anyway, with a new QB in Aaron Corp and an untested defense, this will certainly be an uphill battle.

Feel weird about eating goat dick because it's too beaucoup? Now you have another reason to pass the plate. Goat penis bacteria is running loose like the VC in Vietnam.

Antoine Walker is the Poor Man's Charles Barkley

Antoine Walker and Charles Barkley might have more in common than we think. Once thing we do know, besides their propensity to drive while under the influence, is that they both like to borrow insane amounts of money from casinos...and don't give a damn about paying that debt back on time. Walker was arrested yesterday at a Harrah's casino in Lake Tahoe yesterday for failing to pay back his markers by writing a string of bad checks to casinos...$1 million worth to be exact. Yea, that would make it a felony.

See, the thing about Chuck is, he had the money, he just took his sweet time to pay it back. Antoine apparently doesn't. This is a particularly stunning assumption since he has made about $100 million just in his NBA salaries alone. His spending might have set a new record in blowing through one's cash. I mean, unless you are Montgomery Brewster you have zero reason to burn your money that fast. None. One thing is certain however, Antoine Walker is the single worst gambler on the planet. Bar none. What on earth was he playing in there? Some bullshit Pai Gow Poker, War or some other crazy carnival game? Seriously, where were those 1-800-GAMBLER commercials when he needed them.

In any event, we might have a new title belt holder in the "Dumbest NBA Player" championships. Wait, I might've just thought of a new series on the Deuce. Thanks 'Toine...you stupid bastard.

From Miami Herald

Finally some news you can use. New York's 82 Most Notable Burgers. Notable omission: White Slab.

Constitutional Vol. "We Need More Sports"

Its Friday ladies and gentlemen, not as prolific a week for us, but you really cant blame us, it was the slowest sports week of the year. THE WHOLE YEAR. Which means we should see what other creative types are posting today, to help spread the blogging love. Enjoy these links today...and welcome to the Constitutional. Be sure to follow us on Twitter @chimpanzeerage and @mredonkulous. Also, be a fan of our brand spanking new Facebook Page for the Deuce. We're gettin hip to the times here.

• Our boy The Matador is all growns up, check out his breakdown of The Big East for this upcoming NCAA Season - The Matador
  


• Skier is critically injured after falling off an escalator. Weird. - Sportress of Blogitude
  


• Absolutely hilarious t-shirt. Great find. - Walkoff Walk
  


• For you Redskins fans, they burned through another draft pick yesterday. - Mister Irrelevant
  


• Dan Snyder's radio station is about to get destroyed. - Stet Sports
  


• Is it Lamar Odom's agent's fault for not getting a deal done with LA? - With-Malice
  


• And Amare Soudemire is losing his mind. - Major League Jerk
  


• This is how bad Joba Chamberlin has been for the Yankees - Five Tool Tool
  


• Ronaldo and Real Madrid not doing so well together. - Rumors And Rants
  


• 5 reasons why Richard Jefferson left his woman at the altar. - The World of Isaac
  


• Finally, we get political with this old footage of Bob Costas speaking out against current Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor. - Hugging Harold Reynolds
  

Magic Johnson Remembers The Times But Not The Details

Magic Johnson's eulogy was one of the notable parts of Michael Jackson's memorial service. It wasn't his eloquence or lack thereof that made it memorable. Who knew Michael made Magic a better point guard? There was also the story about Michael stuffing himself with a bucket of KFC.



Bizarre yet sweet. Right? Not so much. It turns out Michael would have blown a famous bowl after Magic left. He had a bit of an issue with bulimia.

"Michael was bulimic. ... It hit me when Magic [Johnson] was talking about Michael sitting on the floor with him eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. ... Everyone thought that was a great thing at the memorial service, and it was. Only thing, what Magic -- and everyone else -- didn't realize: Michael then would have gone and thrown up all of that.

"He would down unbelievable amounts of things like KFC extra-crispy chicken -- like a whole family-size bucket by himself -- or a couple of large Domino's pizzas or two or three whole Marie Callender's pies ... and then go throw them up,'' a clear sign of bulimic behavior.

Bulimia ain't cool. Even when Magic try to do right, he do wrong just like the Magic Hour.

This Is One Big Fish Story

Somehow, this is apparently not photoshopped. That is a freaking 9 foot long, 193lbs catfish that was caught by a 4'10", 84lb, 14 year old girl. It only took her 20 minutes to real the monster in. Insanity. Its like a real life General Sherman

From Daily Mail UK

John Daly Can Wear Whatever Pants He Wants

Look at these awesome outfits that John Daly was rocking during the practice sessions for the British Open. What other person could get away with golfing, with a cigarette in mouth, wearing those awesome pants? No one! As a matter of fact, I am not 100% sure that John Daly can actually get away with it, but ya know what, he doesn't give a rats ass what I or anyone else thinks. You know why? Because he's John "grip it and rip it" Daly thats why.

He didnt stop at that lovely number, check out some of his other awesome pants below here.

Fan-freakin-tastic. The British Open should be quite a show, if not just for the clothing alone.

Via AP

Travis Henry Gets What Is Coming To Him

Travis Henry gets 3 years in prison for financing a multi-state drug ring. He also got 5 years probation and 500 hours of rehab. Apparently with the rehab completed adn with good behavior he might be able to get out of jail in as little as 16 months.

Nevertheless, at 30 years old, Travis Henry might as well start filling out the NFL retirement papers now and get that pension going. He's not gonna be back in the league ever again. Someone's gotta think of the kids!

Random Video of Horrific Violence: Soccer's Joe Theismann

Yea, you definitely get a red card for this play. This might rival Joe Theismann for the worst leg breaking ever. Its a couple months old, and sure its been posted places, but hey, its new to me. I dont watch teh futbol like Mustafa does. I kinda threw up in my mouth a little watching it over and over and over again.

Sir Charles Can't Get No Respect

Let's see how Charles Barkley reacts to Tiger mocking his golf swing. Maybe he'll call him a pussy too.

The Matador previews the ACC

This week, The Matador is predicting the winners of the ACC. Since 1992, Florida State and Virginia Tech have won a combined 15 ACC titles. Since Florida State and VaTech represent the Atlantic and Coastal divisions respectively, there is a good chance the two teams will meet in the ACC title game. But before I discuss that game, let's look at some of the teams who will make some noise in the otherwise quiet, and what some call second tier, ACC.

Both the Atlantic and Coastal divisions are about as shallow as a toilet bowl. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and against pretty much every college football writer, to pick Maryland to challenge FSU for the Atlantic Crown. I give up on Clemson and C.J. Spiller (see last year's game against Alabama and pretty much the rest of the season). They have QB issues, their LBs are not proven and it's Clemson -- they never live up to their potential. NC State will upset teams, but they are too young and thin at key positions to play consistently much less take the crown. BC is returning most of their starters, but with a new coach, new offense and new QB, it will be a long season for the Eagles. That brings us to Maryland. Ralph Friedgen has a good QB and team leader in Chris Turner. The receivers are experienced and are ready to play. Da'Rel Scott is poised to light up the running game. Maryland has been blessed with good recruiting. If this team can gel, Friedgen could rattle the ACC even if the critics pick them to be dead last.

Florida State has a solid O line and a great linebacker in Dekoda Watson. The reason they will fall is their brutal schedule. They are playing 11 bowl teams from 2008. Their away schedule is by far the toughest in the Atlantic with a cross-country trip to BYU, then games at BC, at North Carolina, at Clemson, at Wake, and finishing the season at the National Champ bound Florida Gators. Their D line is too weak and lacks experience to win week in and week out. Also, there are the intangibles: the face of this program is changing. Since when does an FSU player skip the NFL draft to study at Oxford (Kudos to Rolle, but this isn't the typical act of an FSU player).

With that, this is the Terrapins time to shine in the Atlantic division and they will if they get over that first hurdle at Cal.

The Coastal division isn't as complicated in my mind. VaTech will cruise again and win the division. In fact, VaTech has a the schedule to get them to the National Championship game. Their out of conference games include a road trip to Atlanta against Alabama and a home game against Nebraska. If VaTech wants to give the team and conference the respect they covet, they must win both of these games. Georgia Tech and North Carolina might have something to say about it as Georgia Tech is returning a strong offense and Carolina is returning a strong defense. However, neither team will take down VaTech. Also, UNC's final record will be misleading as two wins will be against the Citadel and Georgia Southern -- playing those teams doesn't cut it.

Again, the most complete team in the ACC is VaTech led by Tyrod Taylor. The Matador is giving no love to Miami (Randy Shannon, it's just not working out). The last time Miami won a league title was when they played in the Big East in 2003. Virginia's Al Groh needs to figure out a way to put pressure on the ball, and I'm not sold on their version of the spread offense. As for Duke.......well, basketball is really their sport.

ACC Championship Game: Maryland v. VaTech

The Matador's correct prediction: VaTech wins.

But does all this really matter? The one thing you can bet on for sure, the ACC will not produce a National Champion much less a contender.