usher

Usher, or Urshur to his friends, is going full Ali and playing a boxer in an upcoming Roberto Duran biopic called Hands of Stone. He’ll be playing the role of nemesis Sugar Ray Leonard.

“You couldn’t find a more stylized boxer than Sugar Ray Leonard,” Usher said by telephone. “He was an incredible motion guy, the way he moved around the ring, and I think my dancing will make it easier for me to pick up his moves. I’ve been working on familiarizing myself with the ring, sparring and just understanding how to move in the ring.”

Oh sure. Dancing translates to boxing just as well as it does to wrestling. Ask Miguel how that thinking worked out for him.

Will Smith was able to bulk up for his role in Ali. Usher claims he’s been preparing for his role for over a year but still needs to lose 20-25 pounds. He might want to choose some tougher sparring partners.

Duran is the one supposed to say “No mas” not Sugar Ray Leonard.

Edgar Ramirez will play the lead role of Duran. Robert de Niro will play his trainer, Ray Arcel. There’s no word on who will play the other members of Duran’s salsa band Arena Blanca. That’s right. Roberto Duran has a salsa band.

You’re welcome.

eboueinterview

Former Arsenal and current Galatasary right back Emmanuel Eboue has taken to Turkey like a late night doner kabob to my stomach. A bit rough at times but it all works out in the end. He’s settled into the squad which just won the Turkish Super Cup and Super Lig. Apparently everything is super in Turkey except Allen Iverson.

Eboue hasn’t only found his form on the pitch. He’s become a master of the post-game interview. Enjoy him discussing his celebration plans after clinching the league.


Kupa Töreni Sonrasu0131 Eboue ve Murat Borlu by citrusblack83

Don’t think this was a one-off. Here he is back in March torturing the same interviewer.

This poor guy must have one job and that’s to handle the Eboue interviews. Ataturk would be proud.

threeamigos

First you get the coke then you get the horses and then you get the women. The Zeta drug cartel thought they came up with a brilliant way to launder money from drug proceeds until it turned out that it wasn’t.

Jose Treviño Morales and three others are going on trial in Austin, TX starting today. They allegedly set up a horse breeding and racing business that allowed them to launder millions of dollars in drug proceeds.

Law enforcement officials claim the money came from Trevino’s younger brother, Miguel Angel Treviño Morales, who happens to be head of the Mexican Zeta cartel. He is considered the chief enforcer of the gang which was started by elite Army officers who deserted to work for the Gulf cartel before breaking out on their own. He’s known to heart chopping up his victims while they’re still alive. His favorite fatality is the Guiso which involves putting a victim into an oil drum and burning him alive.

The Zetas spent over $1 million a month on horses. They continued to do so until federal authorities were tipped off by the $1 million purchase of a broodmare which is a female horse used for breeding. Others in the business noted that they were spending big and winning races at a time when the industry was struggling.

The Treviño brothers devised an elaborate scheme in which Mexican businessmen paid for the horses — some of them worth hundreds of thousands of dollars — from their own bank accounts so the purchases would appear legitimate, according to the affidavit. The Zetas would later reimburse the businessmen, and the horses’ ownership would be transferred to Tremor. The brothers’ activities on either side of the border made for a stark contrast. One week in May began with the authorities pointing fingers at Miguel Ángel Treviño for dumping the bodies of 49 people — without heads, hands or feet — in garbage bags along a busy highway in northern Mexico. The week concluded with José Treviño fielding four Tremor horses in a prestigious race at Los Alamitos Race Course, near Los Angeles.

Their horses appeared to win fair and square unlike in Mexico where they would be allowed to win by other owners who feared the wrath of Treviño if they lost.

The feds might also have been tipped off by the Zetas baller style.They would buy horses with duffel bags full of cash. The horses had names such as Number One Cartel, Big Daddy Cartel, Coronita Cartel and Mr. Ease Cartel. Their stables were named Zetas Stables. Jose was obviously the Roger Clinton or Billy Carter of the family. “Mama says give him a job. There’s no way he can mess this up. Just buy the horses and race them.”

The Zeta horse breeding operation sounds like something No Limit or Cash Money rappers would do if they actually followed through on their poorly laid out plans instead of fading away or going to prison for life.

The horses were auctioned off after the Zeta assets were seized. All 450 were purchased including one by San Antonio Spurs owners Peter and Julianna Holt. Coach Pop has already benched A Dash of Sweet Heat until Game 3 of their first round series against the Lakers. It’s unclear whether Ikea or Tesco purchased one as well. It’s more likely they went with Arabber cart horses which are more tender from walking the cobblestone streets of Baltimore.

sunderlandnewscastlehorse

Thursday 2:30 PM Newcastle Crown Court. How soon until Law and Order: SVU tackles the ongoing rivalry between Newcastle and Sunderland fans? It has everything including riots and horse punching. All we need is a sexual crime. Obviously a Sunderland supporter raping a horse in revenge for Barry Rogerson punching a horse. Dramatic court room scene? Sorted.

An unnamed juror was kicked off a jury panel after admitting that he couldn’t be impartial towards the defendant who he called a “Mackem rapist”.

The Newcastle United fan is understood to have told fellow jury members he could not give David Blake, from Sunderland, a fair trial so soon after the bitter 3-0 defeat.

He was then instructed to inform court staff, and stood by his bias when he was brought before Judge Penny Moreland.

As a result, before hearing any evidence from the witness box, he was kicked off the panel despite the trial having opened at Newcastle crown court.

He was told not to come back to court to complete his two weeks’ jury service.

The defendant was eventually convicted after the trial was restarted. Ain’t no mistrials up in Her Majesty’s court. We’re getting this done.

Mackem is slang for a Sunderland resident. Their fans were allegedly chanting “Have you ever seen a Mackem punch a horse!” during their match against Everton last week. Dick Wolf needs to hit us up. TV gold, baby. TV gold.

Somebody call Deputy U.S. Marshal Gerard. You know how I know Dr. Richard Kimble was guilty of killing his wife? No innocent man would have throw the first pitch into the ground on Jackie Robinson Day at Dodger Stadium. That throw has wife killer written all over it.

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