Ever since Alistair Overeem started eating babies “eating horse meat” there have been whispers that Overeem’s physique was on the wrong side of the vial. Overeem was an enigma, who remained heavyweight champ of Strikeforce despite defending the title only once in three years. If he had been a fighting champion there’s no question it would have helped Strikeforce put out a more competitive product to better compete with UFC.

Despite the steroids rumors, Overeem was a big score for the UFC; he was a legit heavyweight and the division needed them. Overeem was immediately awarded a fight against former heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar, beating him in the first round DESPITE the fact that he technically skipped town before his drug screening for THAT FIGHT, and got a conditional license from Nevada for the fight. Despite all the red flags though, Overeem delivered and he was rewarded with a title shot against Junior Dos Santos for UFC 146.

Dash my hopes and dreams, FOX SPORTS:

Overeem, along with all other main-card fighters, was tested at a press conference in Las Vegas to promote the UFC 146 pay-per-view event, at which Overeem was scheduled to take on UFC heavyweight champion Junior dos Santos. “The Demolition Man’s” sample came back showing an elevated level of testosterone, a result that indicates the illegal use of testosterone as a performance enhancing substance.

There’s still a chance that the “B” sample of Overeem’s urine will come back negative, but don’t hold your breath, this fight is probably not going to happen. Be ready to watch Frank Mir take on Dos Santos, which could be okay except Mir is inconsistent.

At the risk of going Florio on everybody here, it’s absolute bullshit that Overeem was able to put the UFC in this position in the first place. The UFC pushed Brock Lesnar to the moon when he first arrived in UFC, he was given a heavyweight title shot after just three fights, and now he’s back in WWE, so why didn’t White learn anything from that experience? Why was a rematch against Velasquez for Dos Santos so out of the question?

In an event that would mimic many of this author’s previous sexual encounters, both in brevity, and disappointment, we gathered around our idiot boxes Saturday night to witness the next step in the castration of UFC.  We were treated to the Fox Sports theme so commonly associated with the NFL; to Brock Lesnar in a suit that he probably hasn’t worn since he graduated from the University of Minnesota as an all-American wrestler. We were treated to people pretending to understand UFC. FOX was kind enough to display the rules just before the fight. We were treated to Curt Menefee pretending to give a damn about the UFC. We were treated to Dana White’s tired schtick about how every fight he promotes is so spectacular. We were treated to a shot of Alistair Overeem ringside, in a suit, and no preliminary fights but about 35 minutes of introduction to Junior Dos Santos, and Cain Velasquez. Finally, we were also treated to a fight that lasted only 64 seconds when Dos Santos caught Velasquez with an overhand right to the back of the head and finished him off in ground-and-pound. That’s not terrible; fight fans know that it can-and-does happen in the fight game; but why did we have to have all these ribbons and bows for this?

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Ex-aerobics instructor and bald Vince McMahon Dana White has been on a subtle mission to ruin Strikeforce since the UFC announced that it was purchasing the U.S. fight promotion earlier this year. While the UFC is indeed the top dog in the U.S., with apologies to Bellator, Strikeforce still represented an alternative to see fights from people who didn’t have to kiss Dana’s ass, or who the UFC demonstrated no patience for in earlier forays. Strikeforce brought us the likes of King Mo, Fedor, Gina Carano, and Alistair Overeem.

First, we saw Jake Shields shift over to the Octagon, then Strikeforce occasional heavyweight champion Alistair Overeem was announced to fight in December against Brock Lesnar (boing!), and now Strikeforce lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez is likely to make the switch.

Pull guard and sink in a guillotine, ESPN:

UFC president Dana White said he wants to have Melendez in his promotion very soon.

“We do want to bring Gilbert Melendez over [to UFC] and we’re looking at it right now,” White said Saturday night. “We’re going to bring him over ASAP.”

It was believed that Melendez (19-2) would defend his Strikeforce title in December against Jorge Masvidal. But White further emphasized his desire to have Melendez’s next fight be in UFC.

“We’re looking to bring him over right now,” White said.

White refused to guarantee a title shot for Melendez in his first UFC bout, but he would not rule it out.

“It’s a possibility.” White said. “The thing is, that division is stacked.

“And usually timing has a lot to do with it.”

The article goes on to note that, in total, four Strikeforce champions have vacated, including Dan Henderson, and welterweight Nick Diaz, and they are all in UFC now. Meanwhile, Paul Daley sits by the phone pretending to play bridge, and Keith Jardine is probably underneath a bridge right now sharing a can of turpentine with Boxcar Joe after they boxed for a sandwich. Where is my source for this information, your mom, that’s who!! (points to crotch).

But you already knew this, right?

It absolutely pains me to see Strikeforce become the red-headed stepchild of the fight game as the UFC toys with shuttering the organization altogether after acquiring the company in March.

Although UFC was interested in several fighters, one of the top prizes for them had to be Alistair Overeem, the “fighting champion” who at one point appeared to prefer boxing exhibitions halfway around the world to fighting with top-flight security guards competition in the UFC. Well, like my days of peering into women’s locker rooms with my zany friends at Angel Beach High School, Overeem has turned a new leaf, agreeing to join the UFC to fight Sable sodomizer Brock Lesnar.

Fight fans will note that Lesnar was seriously humbled by Cain Velasquez last October at UFC 121, losing the strap, and then gaining another life-threatening bout of diverticulitis. He reemerged recently to hunt prairie dogs and consume beef jerky and declare himself good as new. Works for me.

Roll around on the ground with me, LA Times:

“Brock is a big name, a dangerous guy, and this is a dream matchup,” Overeem said Tuesday.

“I want to see this fight myself. Overall, I’m a different fighter. A striker, athletic, big. These are going to be two big trucks going at it on a collision course.”

The 6-foot-5, 260-pound Overeem, 31, is a former K-1 kickboxing champion. He most recently defended his Strikeforce belt in June with a unanimous decision over takedown specialist Fabrio Werdum, who had previously defeated Fedor Emelianenko.

Lesnar, 34, has been out of action since losing his UFC heavyweight belt to Cain Velasquez in October at the Honda Center. Lesnar has been suffering from the intestinal ailment diverticulitis.

The Dec. 30 winner will be first in line to fight the winner of a Nov. 12 fight between Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos.

Lesnar never got to fight Dos Santos after the last season of the Ultimate Fighter. Which was fine with me because I wanted to stop watching so many fights and spend more time with my kids (bursts into laughter). I bet myself I could type that sentence without laughing…looks like I get to buy myself some bestiality porn.

For seven years, about the only thing to watch on Spike TV, other than Seagal straight-to-DVD movies, is UFC. Seriously, UFC Unleashed is on like every five minutes; along with seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, and preliminary fights before UFC events. But that is now about to change.

UFC is taking its talents to Fox, and the FX Network, which is essentially basic cable HBO. No complaints here, they have terrific programming.

That deal included four live specials, two seasons per year of “The Ultimate Fighter” reality show, “Unleashed” – a compilation of one hour shows airing old fights, the important “Countdown” specials aired several times per week that build up the major pay-per-view events and other special programming. Shows like “Unleashed” and “The Best of Pride Fighting Championship” were cornerstones to Spike’s programming and as recently as two years ago, UFC programming often took up half of the network’s prime-time hours in a given week.

But will Spike be okay without UFC to bolster its programming? Well, probably not. Even with diminished ratings it’s still the only draw for the network.

UFC live events on Spike averaged a 1.7 rating from the inception of live specials in 2005 through 2009. But numbers declined to a 1.26 average in 2010. The three events so far this year have rebounded to a 1.37.

“TUF” has been a mixed bag. The late 2010 season featuring coaches Georges St. Pierre and Josh Koscheck was among the highest rated in its history. But even with the company’s biggest drawing card, Brock Lesnar, coaching against Junior Dos Santos in the spring 2011 season, it was the lowest-rated season in the history of the show.

“Unleashed,” a one-hour taped show, had declined more dramatically as the novelty of UFC programming wore off, dropping from an 0.8 average in the early days to an 0.4 this year. As numbers declined, so did Spike’s prime-time average, falling from a top-15 network to where it frequently struggles to crack the top 25. Over the past two years, the number of prime-time hours devoted to UFC has greatly decreased.

Whatever, just get rid of Tito Ortiz and let’s get this thing rolling!

(slams head into wall, stumbles backwards, falls over coffee table)

Update: The worldwide leader in sports is now reporting it, I guess it’s official.

Additional programming on FX, Fuel TV and Fox Sports Net launches in January. FX will host 32 live fight events a year on Friday nights, including six UFC cards and a complete revamp of the promotion’s instrumental reality program “The Ultimate Fighter,” which finishes its run on Spike TV with Season 14 starting in September.

Sounds terrific! Now I can tell the women that won’t date me that I am staying home for work!