Everything’s coming up Mr. Mxyzptlk for Wales. They didn’t win any more vowels for their language but they did beat France 16-6 in their Six Nations match this past weekend.

Welsh winger George North scored the try that put Wales ahead for good and the traveling Welsh contingent appropriately lost their damn minds. One Welsh fan decided to show his team some love and rush the field. Too bad it was North’s father.

Speaking to Sportsmail, the 54-year-old said: ‘It was a freezing night and we were sat in that corner, right in front of where George caught the ball. I was just so happy and overwhelmed watching him score.

‘It was such an important game for the team and I know first hand how hard they have been working to get that victory. Before I knew it, I was on the pitch.

‘Thinking back, I know it was a silly thing to do but I just got caught up in the excitement of it all.’

David revealed that as soon as he explained to the pitchside stewards who he was, he was allowed to return to his seat.

The French fans at the Stade de France must have been petrified when a large group of people started throwing scrumpy and yelling in some unintelligible barbarian language.

North didn’t notice his dad but the rest of his teammates did.

‘My back was turned and I was jogging back to the halfway line for the kick-off. I was oblivious to it. A couple of the boys were saying, “Is that your old man?” And everyone was like, “No, it can’t be”.’

While George remained oblivious to his father’s joy, his team-mate on the wing, Alex Cuthbert, spotted David running on to the pitch, recognised him and smiled before jogging over to tell the try-scorer.

Joe Buck would somehow find a way to call this pitch invasion disgraceful and call it a stain on the game. “That is a disgusting act by David North!”

This win all the Welsh have these days. Let them have it and if you have a heart, please donate a vowel.

It was only last month when many of you were crying about the Mayan apocalypse. You should have seen people chilling in Australia. They’ve been in training for the inevitable all their lives. Don’t believe me? Watch the Mad Max documentary series. It’s as if David Attenborough decided to focus on humans for a change.

There are basic survival rules every Australian learns from childhood. Rule #3: Always keep your head on a swivel. You never know when danger will come or where it’ll come from. ACT Brumbies scrumhalf Nic White learned his lesson when he was “king-hit” at a music festival.

ACT Brumbies scrumhalf Nic White needed surgery on a fractured jaw after he was king-hit at the Foreshore music festival on November 24.

The Brumbies have cleared the 22-year-old of any wrongdoing and claimed he was struck once from behind.

Brumbies chief executive Andrew Fagan said the Super Rugby club investigated the incident soon after it happened and that White didn’t press charges with police because he didn’t see who his attacker was.

”Nic was the victim of an unprovoked assault in which he was king-hit when struck once at Foreshore through no fault of his own,” Fagan said.

King-hit is Australian for getting knocked the fuck out. An example.

White wasn’t the only one getting into it at the music festival. The Canberra Raiders’ Blake Ferguson was spotted spitting on concert goers and had to be “escorted” out of the VIP area by security.

Say what you will but news of these incidents is encouraging. Australian rugby has come along way in the past couple years. I’ll take spitting on people and getting knocked out at music festivals over rugby players getting blowjobs from dogs any day.

What we’ve got  here  is your classic rugby collision while two players are going for the ball…with just one exception, one of these guys is about to have the worst day of his life. South Fremantle rugby footballer Jaymie Graham is the unfortunate lad who gets tangled up with Subiaco player Danny Hughes and comes out of the encounter QUITE the worse for wear.

If you have a weak stomach, do not watch this video. We at the Deuce are not lying when we say this video contains some horrific violence. The YouTube title of this video lies a bit, it is in fact the worst “knee dislocation/every single ligament in there torn to bits” video you will ever see. Small difference, still brutal nonetheless. Enjoy?

Ouch. Man. I feel bad for that kid.  The good news is that he’s already on the road to recovery, undergoing a full knee reconstruction.  I’m guessing his playing days are sadly over, but who knows with today’s modern technology and whatnot.

H/T to our man Mustafa who saw this video a couple days ago, well done sir.

If you’re pissed at the NFL and NBA for using acts such as the Black Eyed Peas or Faith Hill for their theme music, blame the NRL. Australian rugby league has been using mediocre music since the late 80s to promote their brand. Several months ago, we brought you the homoerotic Tina Turner joint that introduced the 1989 NRL season. Bear down even.

Since that debacle, the NRL hasn’t been able to pump anyone up for what is legitimately one of the toughest sports in the world. The league has used artists such as Tom Jones, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Hoodoo Gurus, Chumbawumba and “racing car noises” in the past. 2011 is no different. Enter Bon Jovi with “This Is Our House”.

That’s one step above Tracie Spencer’s “This House“. That song doesn’t make you think bonecrushing tackles and concussions being handed out like food at a soup kitchen. It makes you think of, well American sports. Let’s find the most non-threatening, milquetoast music that will make people who aren’t watching or interested tune in. “I always hated football but now that Faith Hill is singing the theme song to Sunday Night Football, I’ll tune in. That Joan Jett original was too controversial and she’s a lesbian anyway.” The PR and marketing people for Aussie Rules must be chuckling as they seek out Megadeath and DMX.

I was going to stick to Bon Jovi but I decided to actually look up NRL theme songs from the artists I mentioned. Check them out after the jump but I warn you they aren’t much better.

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Terry Matterson’s wife was most likely pissed when he came home from work without his wedding ring. “Baby you see what had happened was…” The Castleford coach had an airtight excuse that no wife could reject. It’s true that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. However he also wasn’t wearing his ring finger. It was severed in a training ground accident that’s enough to make anyone cringe.

Matterson was preparing his squad for the weekend’s friendly against the Catalan Dragons when he scaled a steel fence to retrieve a ball. He caught his wedding ring on a spike on top and, without realising it, severed the finger as he jumped down. “It was a shock,” he said with some understatement. “We were looking around for the finger on the field and couldn’t find it.

Castleford staff eventually detached it from the fence and took it, packed in ice, to the hospital with Matterson, but doctors were unable to re-attach it. He still took charge of the team for the game in Perpignan, although he left some duties to his assistant, Andy Hay.

This is the kind of story that makes you mutter “Holy shit!” under your breath after reading it. That is unless you actually witness the event in person. That’s when you yell “Holy shit!” or “What the fuck??” while pointing instead of helping out.

It’s not all bad for Matterson. Now he can convincingly play a Yakuza member for Halloween or Guy Fawkes Day. Boxing Day, whatever. That’s mad street cred in Little Tokyo. Take that, Dolph.