First you get the coke then you get the horses and then you get the women. The Zeta drug cartel thought they came up with a brilliant way to launder money from drug proceeds until it turned out that it wasn’t.

Jose Treviño Morales and three others are going on trial in Austin, TX starting today. They allegedly set up a horse breeding and racing business that allowed them to launder millions of dollars in drug proceeds.

Law enforcement officials claim the money came from Trevino’s younger brother, Miguel Angel Treviño Morales, who happens to be head of the Mexican Zeta cartel. He is considered the chief enforcer of the gang which was started by elite Army officers who deserted to work for the Gulf cartel before breaking out on their own. He’s known to heart chopping up his victims while they’re still alive. His favorite fatality is the Guiso which involves putting a victim into an oil drum and burning him alive.

The Zetas spent over $1 million a month on horses. They continued to do so until federal authorities were tipped off by the $1 million purchase of a broodmare which is a female horse used for breeding. Others in the business noted that they were spending big and winning races at a time when the industry was struggling.

The Treviño brothers devised an elaborate scheme in which Mexican businessmen paid for the horses — some of them worth hundreds of thousands of dollars — from their own bank accounts so the purchases would appear legitimate, according to the affidavit. The Zetas would later reimburse the businessmen, and the horses’ ownership would be transferred to Tremor. The brothers’ activities on either side of the border made for a stark contrast. One week in May began with the authorities pointing fingers at Miguel Ángel Treviño for dumping the bodies of 49 people — without heads, hands or feet — in garbage bags along a busy highway in northern Mexico. The week concluded with José Treviño fielding four Tremor horses in a prestigious race at Los Alamitos Race Course, near Los Angeles.

Their horses appeared to win fair and square unlike in Mexico where they would be allowed to win by other owners who feared the wrath of Treviño if they lost.

The feds might also have been tipped off by the Zetas baller style.They would buy horses with duffel bags full of cash. The horses had names such as Number One Cartel, Big Daddy Cartel, Coronita Cartel and Mr. Ease Cartel. Their stables were named Zetas Stables. Jose was obviously the Roger Clinton or Billy Carter of the family. “Mama says give him a job. There’s no way he can mess this up. Just buy the horses and race them.”

The Zeta horse breeding operation sounds like something No Limit or Cash Money rappers would do if they actually followed through on their poorly laid out plans instead of fading away or going to prison for life.

The horses were auctioned off after the Zeta assets were seized. All 450 were purchased including one by San Antonio Spurs owners Peter and Julianna Holt. Coach Pop has already benched A Dash of Sweet Heat until Game 3 of their first round series against the Lakers. It’s unclear whether Ikea or Tesco purchased one as well. It’s more likely they went with Arabber cart horses which are more tender from walking the cobblestone streets of Baltimore.

Thursday 2:30 PM Newcastle Crown Court. How soon until Law and Order: SVU tackles the ongoing rivalry between Newcastle and Sunderland fans? It has everything including riots and horse punching. All we need is a sexual crime. Obviously a Sunderland supporter raping a horse in revenge for Barry Rogerson punching a horse. Dramatic court room scene? Sorted.

An unnamed juror was kicked off a jury panel after admitting that he couldn’t be impartial towards the defendant who he called a “Mackem rapist”.

The Newcastle United fan is understood to have told fellow jury members he could not give David Blake, from Sunderland, a fair trial so soon after the bitter 3-0 defeat.

He was then instructed to inform court staff, and stood by his bias when he was brought before Judge Penny Moreland.

As a result, before hearing any evidence from the witness box, he was kicked off the panel despite the trial having opened at Newcastle crown court.

He was told not to come back to court to complete his two weeks’ jury service.

The defendant was eventually convicted after the trial was restarted. Ain’t no mistrials up in Her Majesty’s court. We’re getting this done.

Mackem is slang for a Sunderland resident. Their fans were allegedly chanting “Have you ever seen a Mackem punch a horse!” during their match against Everton last week. Dick Wolf needs to hit us up. TV gold, baby. TV gold.

A former NBA All-Star. A Texas energy company chairman. A rough diamond trader. An indicted Rwandan warlord. An innocent flight attendant. This has the makings of an intriguing but short-lived Starz series or a terrible movie staring Bruce Willis but unfortunately this is the real life of Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo.

Kelly Shannon, a flight attendant, is suing Mutombo for unspecified damages after “suffering severe emotional trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder” following 42 days in Congolese custody.

According to her suit, flight attendant Kelly Shannon was part of the crew aboard the plane Mutombo chartered to fly his associates and $7 million to pick up the gold … back in February 2011.

In the docs, Shannon says their departure from the Congo was delayed for 2 days, and when the gold was finally being loaded onto the plane … armed guards showed up, arrested everyone, and held them at a hotel for the next 42 days.

Mutombo has one up on Mark Thatcher. He made it look as though he made out with nothing while avoiding arrest let alone the stain of involvement until much later. The incident doesn’t seem to have affected his popularity.

The armed guards mentioned in Shannon’s lawsuit were under the command of Bosco “The Terminator” Ntaganda who you might remember from such slaughters and rapes as Rwanda and eastern Congo. The former warlord is now a guest of the International Criminal Court at The Hague. Before his European sojourn, he was busy pillaging and terrorizing Congolese civilians and jacking gold shipments.

The Houston Chronicle broke the full story about Mutombo and his involvement in the gold smuggling scheme. The saga ended with Congolese officials arresting everyone on the plane except Dikembe’s nephew, Reagan who left with Ntaganda’s people and the gold.

It’s unclear who ended up with the gold and money but it would appear that the Congolese government, Ntaganda and Mutombo made out like bandits while Shannon ended up with PTSD from being cooped up in a Goma hotel. Maybe she would have preferred Hotel Rwanda or a luxurious government jail. People never know when to quit when they’re ahead. In the words of the gold smuggling humanitarian, “No no no!”

Bribing public officials isn’t unique to Chicago, Washington DC or even this country. Canadian officials are down for a little quid pro quo although their demands are uniquely America Jr.

Montreal is caught up in the rapture of the Charbonneau corruption inquiry. It’s got everything you would want. Bribery, mafia involvement, bid rigging, price fixing and free hockey tickets.

A half-dozen employees from the city’s engineering department have testified and every single one of them has admitted to taking free hockey tickets whenever they could get them.

They were wined, dined and bribed by construction bosses. Some took gifts ranging from golf vacations to free home renovations. Some accepted money, some said they refused it. One witness said he drew the line at prostitutes and declined to accept the paid company of young women.

But nobody said no to Habs games — the hottest ticket in a hockey-mad town.

Imagine if Richard Daley could have bought off Chicago aldermen with nothing but Blackhawk tickets. Flying cars and moving sidewalks everywhere. A Kuma’s and Tuman’s Alcohol Abuse Center on every corner.

Habs tickets are serious business in Montreal. Individual tickets can go for almost $100 before they hit the resale market. Once they do, forget about it unless you work for the city of Montreal.

Some Montreal municipal employees managed to get tickets for $0.

In exchange, they did a few favours for construction bosses.

Some allegedly doctored work plans, approved false expenses, or shared inside information that ensured certain companies won bids and subsequently inflated the price of a project.

Their work helped businessmen set up a construction cartel in the city, in which a small cabal rigged bids and overcharged for public works. Under that system, illicit profits were divvied up between companies, municipal officials, political parties, and the Italian Mafia.

In at least one case, the hockey tickets appeared to have been as coveted as a bribe.

Taking Habs tickets in return for favors was “standard procedure”.

Hockey tickets also work as currency at the national level. Ottawa is flush with lobbyists handing out Senators tickets like hot cakes. One can only hope they’re more discreet and have a little more pride than Mayor Adrian Fenty and the DC City Council members who fought over Nationals tickets like children. That’s nothing new to DC residents.

Then there was the recent report of a Canadian diplomat charging taxpayers $10,000 to host business officials in a private box at a game in Pittsburgh — a practice that Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird ordered stopped.

Forget international fact-finding junkets to exotic locales. We goin’ to Pittsburgh to see the Pens and get some Primanti Bros. for the drive back to Ottawa! Saku Koivu! That’s what I’m talkin’ aboot!

It’s good to see the Canadians aren’t letting a little inquiry get in the way of business as usual. The Star reports that the Montreal City Council is still awarding contracts to construction firms that are still under investigation. Keep it réel, Habs.

“Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the lookout for a fat, silver and black guy with spikes wearing a silver and black helmet, silver and black jersey, Mardi Gras beads and Doc Martins. Last seen in section 105 heading east. He’s bad.”

The Oakland Coliseum or whatever the pit where the Raiders and A’s play is called isn’t a cafe so it’s probably off Rand Paul’s radar. That’s great news for Alameda County Sheriff Gregory Ahern who wants to employ drones in his jurisdiction. It’s bombs away on cafes and homeless people.

If Ahern has his way, he’d also use facial recognition technology at Raiders home games to spot and track troublemakers as well as people just there to witness the many ways Darius Heyward-Bey can drop a football.

On October 25, Sheriff Ahern sent a letter to AEG Vice President Chris Wright, who is the facilities manager at the Coliseum and Arena, asking to test a product made by Intelligence Based Integrated Security Systems Inc., known as IBIS2. The patent-pending surveillance system from IBIS2 uses “intelligent video” technology that has civil libertarians on their guard.

… IBIS2 sought to conduct a field test in Oakland because of the bad-boy image of Raiders’ fans. “If you ask ten NFL fans which team they associate with violence, they’ll most likely say the Raiders,” said Kephart. He cited two shootings at a pre-season game between the Raiders and San Francisco 49ers as another reason for wanting to test his system in the Bay Area. It should be noted, however, that those shootings occurred at Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

… Ahern’s October 25 letter to AEG strongly indicated that the technology would be used for both license-plate and facial recognition. Ahern wrote that IBIS2′s product would be used “in or around sports venues,” including parking lots, and would provide law enforcement with the capability for “instant data retrieval resulting in preemptive action.” Ahern also wrote that the system could “be utilized to detect persons of interest, wanted criminals, parole and probation violators, state certified gang members, and repeat fan violence offenders.” Such detection capabilities likely could not be derived from reading license plates alone.

That’ll work real well in the Black Hole. It’s hard to see how IBIS2′s facial recognition technology would do any good inside the stadium. Ahern would be better off arresting whole sections of fans if his deputies want to deal the blow back. Unfortunately for them, the Black Hole doesn’t consist of defenseless, homeless people.

The idea that the Sheriff’s Department would use the system to preemptively track people for reasons outside of incidents in the area of the stadium should give pause to anyone concerned about privacy rights. Let’s not talk about cases of mistaken identity yet. There are matters of law enforcement misusing information gleaned for other purposes. The public has no idea how much or what kind of data would be stored let alone what it would be used for by Alameda County or any other local, state or federal agency with access to it. The possibilities for abuse outweigh any potential gains from arbitrary surveillance especially from a department already dealing with several abuse of power scandals.

Fortunately AEG refused to test the system on their property. Professional sports venues already have the ability to use video to find people who commit crimes within the confines of their property. There’s no reason to expand to the use of facial recognition technology by outside law enforcement. Teams can hand over video footage to police on an as-needed basis. Fans willingly accept that their image can be used by teams and respective leagues once they enter the stadium or arena. However the expectation of most law-abiding people is that any footage will be used solely for entertainment purposes unless an incident requiring law enforcement intervention takes place. They doesn’t attend a game thinking that their face will be stored in some unknown location for whatever use some random sheriff sees fit.

Maybe Raiders fans should consider themselves lucky. John Yoo would advocate drone bombing potential criminals during games. “I am the law!” On the other hand death would prevent them from seeing Carson Palmer throw another pick-6. Cowboys fans must be salivating over this possibility.

Here’s your musical reference. A pox on you if you didn’t get it.

Sheriff Ahern is a no good scavenger when it comes to the retention of personal data. A catfish vulture even. Say facial recognition and do the wop!