Reading Between the Headlines
There were two major events this week that really kind of threw me for a loop. One was covered quite extensively and the other got barely a mention. They are completely unrelated, but thought provoking nonetheless. Neither of them had anything to do with Derek Jeter (but we’ll get to him in a second).
First off, Hall of Fame manager George “Sparky” Anderson passed away at the age of 76. Given that Sparky hadn’t managed since 1995, I thought this story wouldn’t get as much play as it did. It’s hard not to appreciate Anderson for a number of reasons: he was the “crank that turned the Big Red Machine” (one of baseball’s great dynasties) and was known as one of the nicest men in professional baseball. While his death was sad (I agree with Jack Morris, 76 is way too young), the news also made me mournful for the age of sports nicknames. I’m pretty sure there are some good ones in locker rooms across professional sports, but we never hear them. Or they just suck. ”Gardy?” ”Ovie?” Really? That’s the best you can come up with? Why can’t we get a “Three Finger Suzuki” or an “Old Hoss Rodriguez?”
Second point: a New York judge shutdown Limewire. This news was a big deal to me because Limewire was pretty popular back in the day for getting music — I thought people still actually used it. After surveying a few folks, I came to three conclusions:
- No one uses Limewire anymore.
- More and more people are actually legally downloading music.
- I must stop living in the year 2003.
For those unnamed sources that do still choose the “alternative” route for obtaining music, almost all of them stated Limewire was basically useless. However, I was surprised that so many people have actually gone back to purchasing music. Not surprising? After someone explained to me the finer points of BitTorrent, it occurred to me the RIAA is still hopelessly behind in stopping people from illegally sharing music. I am OK with this. Before the Internet, record companies got greedy: they would charge upwards of $20 for a new cd even though it cost them probably $2 to make (including paying the artist, marketing, etc). Eventually, people got tired of paying for crap and there became a demand for a cheaper alternative. Once independent companies figured out their secret cd burning technology (I think it has something to do with magnets!), record companies got owned. Rot in hell for charging me $16.99 for that Green Jellÿ album, jerks. In any case, on to the headlinez:
- Derek Jeter’s agent stated the Yankee Captain’s value “can’t be overstated,” refuting remarks made earlier in the week by Yankee managing partner Hall Steinbrenner.
Told you this wouldn’t take long to get going. I’m actually going to “read between the headlines” here: Steinbrenner is being honest and trying prepare fans for the worst once negative stories regarding the negotiations leak out (which they will). Jeter’s agent is just doing his job. Bottom line: each side is offering something that has way more value to the involved parties than any outsiders. Jeter is in his late thirties and needs a place to play. The Yankees want to make the strong PR move and keep one of the most beloved Yankees ever. Here’s the catch: if the Yankees fail, they can go get Cliff Lee, Carl Crawford, win a 100 games and still sell jerseys. Jeter, on the other hand, has to go the open market where he will probably only get three years and $18M from Baltimore. That’s even a bigger risk than dating Mariah Carey.
- The NCAA is investigating claims that an individual representing Auburn QB solicited $200,000 cash for the Heisman candidate to attend Mississippi State.
What the hell are these guys doing asking for only 25, 50 or even $200K? Seriously, if I was a top recruit who had no morals or made no bones about getting paid to play, I’d be looking for mid-to-high six figures and it better be a “straight cash, homey” situation. If R. Jay Soward can get $1,500 a month, I think someone who was actually good might push for a half-mil.
- Utah’s attorney general met with Department of Justice officials to discuss a potential federal investigation into the Bowl Championship Series.
These stories make me so incredibly angry I want to find these people, rip the wallets out of their pants and take my tax dollars back. I’ve got two words for this Utah idiot: “Sister Wives.” Listen here, you jackass: if you’re going to let this schmuck-on-wheels Chad Kroeger wannabe run around your state marrying demented women and then parading his law evading on cable television, you got WAY bigger things to worry about. Seriously, politicians: do your freaking job and stay out of sports. You’ve ruined enough already.
- At 19-0, Zenyatta will attempt to finish her career undefeated with a win at this weekend’s Breeder’s Cup.
Keeping in mind that I know very little about horse racing, I don’t quite understand the hype around this horse. If she’s so great, why didn’t she race in any of the Triple Crown races? Why is she retiring now? I’m sure there’s some obvious reason why, but it’s impossible for me to find out because every time I read an article about a horse, I recoil as soon as the owner/trainer starts talking about the animal’s “personality” as if she’s some sort of communicative being. If that’s the case, why do you subject her to a sport where she might break her leg and need to be put to sleep? Just asking.
- Rescused Chilean miner Edison Pena arrived in New York City for this weekend’s marathon.
Man, I thought once Halloween was over, the whole miner thing would go away. This got me thinking. First off, how in God’s name is this guy gonna run a marathon? He just spent 69 days in a dark pit. There’s no way he’s in shape. Furthermore, his lungs are so polluted they’ll probably explode under any extended stress. I also wondered if I’d rather spend 30 days training for a marathon or 30 days in a mine with a bunch of co-workers? I think I’d go with option “C,” which would be “death.”
In any case, RIP Sparky, Nick Bell and Andy Irons. Everybody go out and have some fun this weekend. If you need me, I’ll be preparing for the end of my second favorite season.
Tagged with: Cam Newton • Chilean Miners • Derek Jeter • Limewire • Mariah Carey • Nickelback • Old Hoss Rodriguez • R. Jay Soward • Reading Between the Headlines • Sister Wives • Sparky Anderson • Three Finger Suzuki • Utah • Zenyatta
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