Padilla probably assumed this position after being shot.

It’s baseball season again. I’ll pass on Orioles Magic. Just give me some good pitching. Feeling it happen is like taking a deep breath before walking into an overflowing outhouse. You can only hold your breath for so long before having to take in the funk. It’s definitely in the air around you. Hope doesn’t spring eternal with the opening of Orioles training camp. Only a week or two passes before reality sets in while watching the pitchers. It’s cool. I’ve been doing this for 12 years but I always come back like John Terry’s wife.

At least we can fall back on the non-story of players coming clean or covering their asses regarding their knowledge of PED-dealing doctors. Dodgers pitcher Vincente Padilla didn’t want to feel left out but no one’s going to believe he’s on the juice so he came clean about something else.

Padilla was shot in November while home in Nicaragua. A friend was cleaning his gun on a shooting range and accidentally shot him. (Lesson #1: Never trust weapons sent to you by Ollie North.) At the time, it was claimed that he was only “grazed” by the bullet. Um not exactly true.

Pointing to a spot high on his right thigh, Padilla said, “It went in here.” Touching the back of his leg, he continued, “And it went out the other side.”

“I was bleeding a lot,” Padilla said.

Padilla said he lost 1.5 liters of blood while his friend drove him to the hospital. He said he felt dizzy when he got there.

“We were far from the hospital,” he said.

Plaxico bumaye!! Padilla may not have shot himself but way to cover it up. Burress ended up in jail while he ended up with a one-year deal worth $5.025M. What’s the other lesson here? If you’re gonna catch a bullet, do it offshore like reinsurance. It pays.

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