Where my dogs at? Not in Warrington if they can help it. Joel Monaghan just moved to town and he’s looking for some service.
You might remember Monaghan from such episodes as getting his dick sucked by a dog and filming it. He quit playing for his Canberra team and hid for two months while avoiding the internet and newspapers.
It was a slightly surreal interview today as in the background Lee Briers, who remains in denial of his role as one of Warrington’s elder statesmen, was barking at regular intervals, and later wondered aloud why the club’s media officers had not played Who Let the Dogs Out before Monaghan’s press conference.
Monaghan has another thing coming if he thinks that it’s going to be any easier for him. He scored a try in his first game this past weekend. No idea how he did with the local dogs afterwards. However if he wants to score with the dogs, we hear Newcastle is the place to go. Hope his pick up lines are better than DMX’s.
If you know or have audio of any Leigh songs referring to Monaghan, pass them along.
There’s no need to touch the first part of that. It’s an accepted fact that Lars Ulrich is a waste of space. Many would call it a posteriori knowledge based on years of shows, interviews and a painful movie. I would venture to say that it’s a priori. Experience and evidence be damned.
What does Lars have to do with Metallica playing soccer? Nothing. Kirk Hammett on the other hand…
Hammett could definitely start for Qatar’s national team. Gotta love how he looked back and kept on moving. “Shit, that’s probably Lars’ kid. Maybe he’ll feel that like a Crimson Twin.”
Bet you didn’t think you would see anything more homoerotic than the Top Gun beach volleyball scene or the race between Rocky and Apollo in Rocky III outside of porn. Tina Turner and Australia have something to say about that. Check out this 1989 Australian rugby league promo. Talk about hitting all markets in one money shot.
Who knew Freddie Mercury played rugby? No fat-bottomed girls for him today. He likes his men like he likes his paper towels. Burly with a mustache.
Aussie Rules could have gone down the same path and gotten Elton John or Cher to do their ads. Hell no. AC/DC all the way.
The NFL and major networks could learn something from the Australians. Give the people what they want and stop trying to force feed us crap like the Sunday Night Football theme by Faith Hill.
No way we’re posting the real thing. Do they really think viewership will go up with Hill doing the intro? I’ll say it now. I’ll take John Tesh over that milquetoast bullshit every time. I’d give NBC a little more leeway if they had Joan Jett sing it but she’s a lesbian and they can’t have that. We also can’t show players getting blown up because people’s feelings will get hurt and no one will think of the children. Douche rock doesn’t count, ESPN. That’s no better. You want to get me hype for a game? Give us players getting lit up and making ridiculous catches to X Gon Give It To Ya by DMX or Assassin by Muse.
Who can forget Joel Monaghan? It seems like it was just last week when he was letting a dog blow him. Oh that’s right. It was last week. As you might imagine, his team wants nothing to do with him. Luckily for him, Super League teams are cool with bestiality.
London-based Harlequins of the Super League are interested in signing Monaghan after he resigned from the Canberra Raiders after pictures of him being blown by a dog were released on the internet.
Harlequins are favourites to sign Joel Monaghan after the disgraced centre announced he would be continuing his career in Super League.
Monaghan admitted that he would look to continue his career in Super League, where his older brother Michael plays with Warrington. His agent, Jim Banaghan, has already made contact with several clubs.
Quins have been linked with the player, though a spokesperson said: “I can confirm we haven’t had any direct contact with Joel.”
So that means he’ll be signed tomorrow or they’ve never heard of him. Glad that’s clear.
You know you’ve messed up when you have to leave Australia for something that isn’t even a crime down under. The closest example is probably Gary Glitter getting kicked out of Thailand for being too good of a pedophile. “Yeah we’re normally cool with it but you’re putting a lot of Germans and Irish out of business the way you run through our kids. Try Vietnam instead.”
Maybe Monaghan and Michael Vick can start their own support group. Then again Vick might suggest killing the dog that blew him for being a snitch. Never mind.
