You know times are ill when you can’t score in Bangkok. Tiger Woods lost his number one ranking to Lee Westwood. He then flamed out of the appropriately named World Golf Salutes King Bhumibol Skins Tournament in Thailand the following week finishing last out of four. He should have rolled with Gary Glitter. He can bag a win anywhere in southeast Asia.

Tiger is now off to Australia where he’ll compete in the Australian Masters, the last tournament he won before he went to town on Perkins and caught a golf club upside the head. Tournament officials are warning spectators that they shouldn’t heckle him about his “troubles”. We assume they’re talking about his standards. He should be thoroughly mocked for them. Fans will receive one warning before being ejected if they start trouble. In other words, make the first taunt count.

100,000 fans are expected over the course of the tournament. Now we expect that someone can come up with something good to rattle Tiger. We challenge anyone in attendance to one up this kangaroo.

Imagine if he did this in front of Tiger instead of Rory Sabbatini? Genius. In the words of Homer Simpson, “It works on so many levels”

Although Tiger will be protected, spectators will be permitted to berate Sergio Garcia at will until he cries.

Who can forget DMX? A brilliant mix of infectous stupidity and ignorance that was impossible to deny. 1998 brought “It’s Dark and Hell is Hot”. It wasn’t long before he reached even higher heights with tracks like “What’s My Name” and “What These Bitches Want”. Bet you never read the lyrics. Amazing. He’s loved all over the world from France to Australia. Canberra Raiders center Joel Monaghan loves him so much, he decided to make a photo tribute while drunk. To say he took “Get At Me, Dog” the wrong way would be the understatement of the year.

Monaghan is facing a Randy Moss-style release from the Raiders after a picture emerged of him in a sex act with a dog. He, along with several teammates, got loaded during Canberra’s Mad Monday festival and somehow ended up have a dog go to town on his kibbles and bits if you know what I mean. If that wasn’t bad enough, someone posted the picture on Twitter where it quickly made the rounds.

Canberra CEO Don Furner was dumbfounded and appalled by the image of Monaghan and a dog, which was posted on the social network site Twitter before Melbourne radio station SEN named the Raider yesterday morning.

Monaghan admitted to being the person in the picture and issued a statement through his manager.

“Joel can’t blame anyone but himself for an act of stupidity that will haunt him for the rest of his life,” Banaghan said.

“Joel wants to make it clear that he was the one playing a prank on an absent teammate by simulating the act.

“There are no words of explanation that can be offered because none can be appropriate.

“Joel has to now face his family as well as fans and supporters with that shame and has already undergone counselling to help him cope with the consequences of what has happened.

“It was a moment of abject stupidity brought about by too much drink and a complete lack of any thought process.

“The fact that someone has sought to compound the situation further by the use of social media only adds to the trauma, but Joel accepts that it is his actions alone that are at fault.

Ah yes. Blame the messenger for having a dog all up on your nuts like a squirrel. Luckily for Monaghan, bestiality isn’t illegal in the ACT so he won’t face any charges. He still has to deal with a pissed off and rejected dog. “You expect me to just go away after I service you? I will not be ignored!”

Monaghan entered counseling or beasthab for an undetermined amount of time. He’d probably be better off moving to Tasmania where he wouldn’t have to hide his shame.

We managed to find a SFW picture of the incident. It’s greened out enough so you can’t see the unpleasantness. If you’re sick, sorry interested enough, it’s after the jump. Enjoy!

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It’s been a minute since we’ve posted anything so cut us some slack. You know we’re off our game when we’re considering making reference to En Vogue songs. Hopefully this monster hit by the Tigers’ Simon Dwyer on the Roosters’ Jared Wearea-Hargreaves will make up for it.

We’re going to assume that Dwyer yelled, “Time to die!” before he laid the wood on Wearea-Hargreaves.

At least we know how Floyd Jr. keeps himself busy when not running from Manny Pacquiao

Everyone knows Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. is a bit off but no one should blame him for it. It obviously comes from his father.

Floyd Mayweather Sr. went off on Manny Pacquiao during an On The Ropes Radio interview earlier this month.

“I’d tell him he’s a faggot,” Floyd Sr. said, when asked what he would say to Pacquiao face to face, if given the chance. “That’s what I’d tell him. I’d tell him he ain’t nothing but a little sissy; a little girl.”

“The only thing they’re trying to do is to switch this around and make it look like it’s my son that’s scared,” Mayweather Sr. continued. “He ain’t the one that’s scared. I know who’s scared.”

Mayweather Sr. didn’t stop there. He decided to go full Mel Gibson.

“My problem is, Bob Arum don’t call no [expletive] shots,” he said. “The fight can be made anytime they want the fight to be made. ‘Little Floyd’ definitely ain’t scared of no Pacquiao. That’s the last thing in the world that little Floyd is scared of—a little Filipino midget. Definitely that’s not the case.”

Money’s father ranted about Arum backing Pacquiao because he represents him and how his son should get more money because…well I don’t really get it.

There’s also something about drug testing and Miguel Cotto in there. However there’s no mention of how Pacquiao would fight Cotto because his son won’t agree to the fight even though Pacquiao agreed to Olympic-level blood testing.

Still haven’t seen boxing embarass itself enough? Here’s Danny Green vs. Paul Briggs from Australia. 30 seconds of the sweet science at its finest. Stick around for the post-fight interview.

Don’t try to tell me Don King wasn’t in the house that night.

Sweet dreams, princess. This is what happens when you mess with a team owned by Russell Crowe.

Referee Knocked Out Cold – Watch more Funny Videos

Crowe probably gives the signal to unleash hell before every game from the owner’s box. Guess the ref got the thumbs down. He’ll have to get his vengeance in the next life.