Give it up for lacrosse. The positive PR just keeps coming. Maybe they should hire @BPGlobalPR to handle press inquiries. We’re probably being too harsh. Underage drinking is nothing compared to rape and murder. Actually it’s not interesting unless you add “obstructing and hindering in an arrest, failure to obey orders, and resisting and interfering in an arrest”.

Taylor Virden and Molly Fernandez of Baltimore were arrested and charged with the offenses listed above after police busted a party at a friend’s house. Virden was a girls lacrosse player at McDonogh School this past season. Fernandez is a former McDonogh star who currently attends Penn State. You say this kind of thing happens every day. The devil is in the details.

Police said they found Virden, 18, and Fernandez, 19, hiding under a bed in a house in Columbia where the party was held. Police said they had to take apart the frame of the bed after Virden and Fernandez ignored orders to come out and remained under the bed after police shot pepper spray into an opening.

It gets better.

According to charging documents, police were called to a residence in the 8500 block of Woodstaff Way at around 11:30p.m., after receiving complaints from neighbors for excessive noise.

When police arrived, two people who were in the driveway of the house ran back into the house where the party was being held, yelling, “The cops are here.” A police spokeswoman said that a half-empty tequila bottle was thrown through an open second-floor window, narrowly missing an officer’s head.

One of the officers went to the back of the house, where he saw a number of people either running from the area or into the residence. Police said that the back deck was littered with open cans of beer and alcohol and one of the officers could see people in the house going into closets to hide or running into rooms and closing doors.

“Those coppers will never find me in a closet.” I am offended as an alum of this fine educational institution. I don’t know what’s happened since I graduated but we would have known better than to hide under a bed or in a closet. Some may not have known not to drink out of the piss beer can and others may have been tossed from Ceramics for making clay dicks but we wouldn’t have gone out like that. We would have pretended to be statues or hostages who were forced to drink against our will.

Guess where Virden is going to college next year? If you guessed Duke, you’re going to the showcase showdown. This rap sheet is going to give her mad street cred by the time she gets down there. They may make her an honorary men’s lacrosse team member.

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