The Mets can’t win for trying. Wait, they don’t try. They Minaya. Big difference. Pitchers and catchers report in less than two weeks and the Mets are already preparing to crap their pants. Gary Matthews Jr. and the “real-life Crash Davis” were signed. They also dropped the height of Citi Field’s center field wall. Standard and Poor’s responded by dropping Citi Field’s bond rating to junk status.

The bonds issued in 2006 “do not have a reserve fund with adequate liquidity to support any disruption in project cash flow,” S&P said in a statement. In other words, the rainy-day fund is drier than thought.

S&P, however, said the outlook for the bonds was “stable,” not “negative,” which means another downgrade is not imminent. Moody’s Investor Services lowered its ratings on the bonds to junk status last week.

At least the bond rating matches the product on the field. There’s something to be said for consistency. Fred Wilpon should have offered up Matthews.  If he doesn’t scream “adequate liquidity”, nothing does. The steroids going through Matthews’ blood stream make him priceless!

It’s almost like the Mets are booking a choke in advance. “We just wanted to make sure we got a good seat.” Mets fans are looking forward to the upcoming season with dread. All other baseball fans can’t wait to see how they impode this year. If everything goes pear-shaped, they can take off-brand Crash Davis and make some hybrid Bull Durham/Major League movie. Play ball!

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