For baseball fans, like Duke Jackson, spring training is an exciting time for baseball junkies to examine their team and predict their fortunes for the coming season. For the “Worldwide Leader in Sports,” it’s a time for round-the-clock Yankees and Red Sox coverage, squeezing every ounce of news value out of predictable, innocuous, and even, laughable concepts. Thus, in addition to hearing about how Derek Jeter’s ego is bruised for getting $51 million last offseason to keep turning in declining production, we are also treated to the annual pastime of examining Alex Rodriguez’ personality veneer.

Oh, but, dear reader, you are in for a treat this season! Alex Rodriguez, 35, is ready to unleash his true personality upon the baseball world. Why, he’s relaxed, he’s funny, he’s engaging, and…he’s basically a Dominican Tom Cruise. Oh, and he’s not at all upset about the Super Bowl image of him and his brother eating at the Super Bowl.

Feed me popcorn while I watch the show, ESPN:

Rodriguez made light of his Super Bowl appearance in which he was shown on TV being fed popcorn by his girlfriend, actress Cameron Diaz. Rodriguez said that a report that he went “ballistic” at Fox for showing him was false.

“That was pretty humorous,” Rodriguez said. “Absolutely not, but five or six years ago I probably would have come out with some bogus statement.”

This confirms it. Rodriguez has definitely changed. Of course, in an industry of increasingly image-conscious media personalities, Rodriguez is king. This guy will do absolutely anything to steer the perception people have of him. He’s basically the Wizard of Oz in pinstripes.

Ok, so Bill Belichick gets named to his third NFL Coach of the Year title by the Associated Press despite the 1 and done his team pulled in the playoffs.  Sure, his Patriots did have a wonderful 14-2 record and in theory the award is supposed to be award to the best team in the regular season…but that and $5000 will get you a ticket the Super Bowl to see the two head coaches that probably should’ve have placed 1 and 2 above Belichick in the coach of the year standings.

If it were me deciding things, my pick would be for Mike McCarthy of the Green Bay Packers hands down.  His team, facing an astounding rash of injuries (16 players on the IR) and facing elimination every week since Week 16, has come together into a team that is now favored to win the Super Bowl by anywhere between 2 and 3 points.  You don’t think somewhere in there coaching might have something to do with that?  You don’t think overcoming that kind of adversity might warrant some sort of recognition?

You might say “CAHM AWWN, BELICHAWK GAWT TO FAWTEEN AHHND TWO WITH A BUNCHA NO NAMES!” and I say to that “Fuck you.  James Starks.”  C’mon, this guy was practice squad fodder and now he is performing at a higher level than any of Patriots running backs…yes even Danny Woodhead.  Its not like McCarthy is working with a team of potential Hall of Famers here.  On offense, sure there is Rogers but the only heralded receiver he is throwing to is Greg Jennings. Driver is old as dirt and the other guys are just young speedsters only now sorta coming into their own.  His best receiver, Jermichael Finley, is on the friggin IR.

The Packer’s defense is another has got to be one of the youngest defenses in the league, filled with players only in their second or third years in the league, and yet they are one of the league’s top five defensive teams.  Way to coach em up, coach.

As a matter of fact, the Packers’ entire roster averages 3.2 years of experience in the league.  That isnt a lot of experience there, there’s gotta be some solid coaching that got them to the Super Bowl this year.  Look at the Steelers roster in comparison, they average 4.5 years in the league.

In the end, the game of football comes down to championships. You tell me how Belichick was a better coach this season if he couldn’t manage to tell Tom Brady to stop flinching when there was no one around him in that Jets game.  Wuss.

Its too late now and yeah the Pack had a 10-6 record, but c’mon…he really did a better job.

Chicago Bears fan Jeremy Piven wasn’t pleased when he was busted making comments about Ben Roethlisberger during Sundance.

Piven was talking sports during some downtime last week at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, when he said the Super Bowl, set for Feb. 6, would have been a better with the New York Jets and his hometown favorites, the Chicago Bears on the field.

“Now its Rapist-berger and the cheese heads,” Piven said, referring to Sunday’s Steelers-Packers matchup.

“The cheesy rape burger,” he then riffed, drawing chuckles from another man in the room.

Piven lamented being caught on camera but he should be happy that TMZ was there for a change. Someone heard what he was trying to say. He needed a burger good enough for Ben Roethlisberger. He needed one sloppy like Big Ben’s game with college girls and with enough cheese to back him up in case of another sushi attack. The guys from Epic Meal Time heard his cry and came up with the Sloppy Roethlisberger.

20 pounds of beef. 20 pounds of bacon, pork slab, cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce and a bun that would even impress Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Have a little Four Loko Chili on the side along with Four Loko in a cup made of bacon. Don’t you want to taste “crazy alcohol rainbow pig”? Super Bowl party. Super Bowl angioplasty. Same thing.

Would a Molesty-berger be a normal sized version of the Sloppy Roethlisberger? Big Ben would probably throw down on both of them when he’s not busy finding his religion. That’s him in the corner…with your little sister.

H/T: Intentional Foul (Ticket Solutions)

Fuck you, NFL. Seriously. How dare you? Remember when you had a Super Bowl in Detroit? Did you invite Motown legends to perform at the halftime show? No. You went abroad and got the Rolling Stones as if to mock the people that did it first and more importantly, right. We’re subjected to Faith Hill every Sunday night and now you go and pull the most heinous of musical crimes.

Forget the flags, F-15 fly-overs, troops and other “USA!” hoopla the NFL throws at you every week. They’re all lies. Subterfuge even. If the league really cared about this country, it wouldn’t make the Black Eyed Peas the halftime entertainment at Super Bowl XLV in February.

The expected choice would signify a generational shift for the NFL, which played it conservatively during the last six years with boomer rockers and mainstream arena stars Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the Who. That seemed in direct response to Janet Jackson’s notorious breast-revealing “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004.

Why punish the whole country for the mistakes of the few? Does the NFL want kids to see grown women piss themselves like the drunk, homeless guy talking to himself at the Broadway/Lafayette stop?

If seeing Janet Jackson’s breast was bad, how does the NFL think this will go over? Isn’t it hard enough for young people to get a decent education these days without dumbing them down with idiotic lyrics? Why not have them chug lead paint while we’re at it? Most people will be lucky if they remember all six vowels at the end of the set.

You think that guy who shot up his TV after watching Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars was an anomaly? Just wait until the BEP play.

The NFL somewhat redeemed itself with the Prince and Bruce Springsteen halftime shows which were actually decent. They failed again with The Who. The producers of the CSI shows must have pictures of Roger Goodell with a goat. How does a purveyor of kiddie porn get into the country anyway? Research, my ass.

Justin Beiber and Willow Smith must not have been available but there’s plenty of time to force the millions watching to whip their hair. What’s Up With People doing these days?