Inside the park home runs are not a common occurrance in Major League Baseball and Milwaukee Brewers’ outfielder Ryan Braun was ohhhhhhh so close to getting his very first one. He could’ve had it quite easily actually, but for the little tumble you are about to see Braun take after he rounds third and attempts to make his way home. Poor guy, I would almost feel bad for him if I wasn’t laughing so hard right now.

To add insult to injury, the Brewers lost the game to the St. Louis Cardinals by a score of 8-3.

Random sports trivia while we’re talking about inside the park home runs, who is the MLB leader in inside the park home runs? A player named Jesse Burkett with 55 inside the park home runs. Burkett played for the Giants, Spiders, Perfectos, Cardinals, Browns and, his last team, the Boston Americans from 1890-1905. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1946.  Ty Cobb and Honus Wagner are both tied for 3rd with 46 inside the parkers. Honestly, no one on the list of top 25 inside the park home run hitters was born in the 1900s. Lost art I guess…or fielding has gotten a LOT better these days.

Trivia from Baseball-Almanac.com

Baseball great Barry Bonds is an asshole. Nobody denies that. But he has also hit more home runs then any player in MLB history. From 1999-2004 a Barry Bonds at-bat was the greatest thing to witness in sports. It sucks that so many ball players took the juice to shoot up their stats and make tons of money but if everybody else is ignoring the speed limit on the highway then what are you supposed to do?

If you agree with anything I just wrote, then you might be Greg Anderson. He just went back to prison. For the fourth time. Fourteen months in total. Seriously. This guy has been to prison more then Tony Yayo (best I could do).

Stick me fast and let’s go do some BP, ESPN:

Anderson repeated his long-standing refusal to testify against his childhood friend, was held in civil contempt by Illston, taken into custody by U.S. Marshals and escorted out a back door. This will be his fourth time in prison, his third for refusing to testify against Bonds, and he will likely be held until the end of the trial. The case is expected to last about a month.

Anderson also served three months in prison and three months in home confinement for money laundering and steroids distribution from the original BALCO case. Anderson’s plea in that instance happened in 2005. Bonds’ trial is the last to stem from the BALCO investigation.

Somebody is getting a christmas syringe card from the Bonds household this holiday season.

A couple weeks ago the Washington Nationals put out a list of the top “81 Ways To Use Your Season Tickets” for its fans. Now, call me crazy, but I thought there was really only a couple ways to use your tickets, sell them or use them yourself. Luckily the Nationals were there to tell me that, no, there are other ways that one can use their Nationals season tickets.

The remarkable thing about this list is that there are at least 20 suggestions they offer up that involve you not going to the game.  The team itself is saying “give these tickets away that you paid your hard earned dollars for”!!

Lets take a look at some of the best suggestions.

81. Offer them to your neighbor who takes in your mail while you are on vacation

80. Show your mail carrier you appreciate him or her

79. Get in good with your in-laws

76. Give your tickets to a youth team

75. Give them to a prospective employee who is interviewing from out of town

Right away, five of the first seven suggestions they give the fans are to give away their tickets and make some poor neighbor that cant afford a vacation or a poor mailman or your old ass inlaws or some kids or an unemployed bastard your tickets.  So there you have it Nats fans.  These will be  your demographics for the stands this year: Old people, kids, the unemployed and/or poor and underemployed people.  Sounds like a rollicking good time, what say you chap?  Lets continue. Read the rest of this entry

Last night Cliff Lee won the game for the Texas Rangers, silencing the Yankee’s bats to the tune of a 13 K shutout for the Rangers’ 8-0 victory.  I don’t feel too bad for the Yankees organization though, while the team isn’t currently winning on the field, they are winning at the cash register. The Yankees have come across one of the greatest merchandising schemes ever…selling dirt from the old Yankee Stadium.

No, we’re not just talking about the dirt around the base paths, I’m talking dirt dug up from the outfield, infield, batting box and up to two feet down before the stadium was demolished. We all know no Yankee ever set foot on that dirt if it was two feet down, but apparently dirt collectors don’t give a damn. In total, they dug up three tons of dirt. Egad.

What have they done with the dirt do you ask?  Well half of it has been used for over $10 million in collectible items such as:

* Key chains that go for $20 each.

* Posters commemorating the nine championships the team won in their former home. They sell for $150 each.

* Special player posters whose price depends on the player. Derek Jeter is the most expensive at $80

* Player plaques showing Yankee stars’ stats and biggest moments. They sell for $50 to $60

* Crystal paperweights engraved with milestone dates.

* Team-signed balls with an order of dirt on the side, selling for $60.

I mean its cool that they will sell it along with signed balls but a $20 key chain??  Look at that poster, would you pay $30 for that?  The Yankees have actually made dirt a valuable commodity…and they have THREE TONS OF IT.  Well, actually they sold off 1 1/2 tons, but they have actually saved up the other half of it in barrels for future use (sales).

I’d love to know exactly how much dirt is in these items to figure out the exact value of the dirt. Silver is a little over $24 an ounce, I’d bet this dirt is near that in value. Just think about that. Dirt that is as valuable as silver. Hold on, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ok, I’m good.

Like fine wine, this dirt will only get better and more valuable with age.  Get your dirt while you can. In the meantime, it looks as if the Yankees will have a little bit more money to throw around free agency than they would’ve normally had.

So don’t feel too bad for their loss last night, they can afford to go out and buy Lee next year and have him do to someone else what he did to them…partially thanks to Yankee dirt.

MLB.com just put out their top 50 prospects list and well collected it is.  I’m psyched the Nationals have 2 people on it, for realz son!  Whenever i look at lists of players like this though, i can’t help but poke a little fun at some of this year’s new crop of possible MLB superstars names.  Juvenile?  For sure.  Bad habit?  Yup.    Lets look at a few guys that should be the number one prospects in our hearts, if only from their names.

10. Madison Bumgarner – I envision this guy to look like on of the old guys from Trading Places. I know he PROBABLY doesn’t. But it’d be great to have a kid coming up that looks like a 50 year old rich white man. Just with that name he could sit right beside Randolph and Mortimer with a cocktail in one hand and a cigar in another. “Looking good Madison!” “Feeling Good, Louis!”

11. Carlos Santana – His walking to the plate music has GOT to be “Oye Como Va” since it loosely translates to “Check this out”, like “Check out this home run I’m about to blast”. When he hits a home run, i will expect Karl Ravech to shout out “ABRAXIS!!” on Baseball Tonight, even though I haven’t watched that show since the MLB Network came into existence. This kid has about a million nicknames built into his name being shared with the esteemed guitarist. Personally, I think he should be called “Jugando” after the track on Santana’s album “Moonflower”. Not only the final part to a badass 3 part medley, it also means “at play”. Apropos no?

22. Starlin Castro – I’ve never been more divided about a name ever. Castro is always badass since he shares the last name with a ruthless dictator. On the other hand, Starlin is sort of a cross between a fish and a luminous ball of plasma. No idea how your parents think that is a good idea. Maybe its a family name. Or maybe they’re just a fan of comic books.

30. Yonder Alonso – If ever a name cried out for a new version of the classic “Who’s on First” sketch it could be Yonder.

“Who’s Alonso?”
“Yonder”
“I didn’t ask where, I asked who!”
“Who?”
“Alsono!”
“Yonder?”
“ARRRGH!”
/punch in face

39. Tanner Scheppers – What an odd name. It sort of sounds like an alcoholic beverage. I do not know why. Just odd. But I like it.

50. Jaff Decker – Jaff just sounds like a name out of Star Wars or something. Like Dack was or Wedge or Biggs…basically he sounds like an X-Wing pilot and that, in and of itself, is AWESOME.  He has a lot to live up to.