All thanks to the amazing sport that is Bo-Taoshi, the Deuce of Davenport just blew up in South Africa. SAfm’s The Lifestyle Show with Michelle Constant talked to the Deuce’s own Mustafa Redonkulous last Friday and we just got a copy of the interview to share with all you readers outside of South Africa that have yet to hear it.

Michelle is a seasoned journalist who has interviewed the likes of Sugar Ray Leonard, Mike Tyson and Henry Rollins and now she can add Mustafa Redonkulous to that list. Isn’t that something? To be honest, we’re a little shocked here at the Deuce. Just a little though, I always knew we’d be huge in South Africa.

Click the link below to give a listen to our boy talkin about the sport Bo-Taoshi, Japanese politics and, yes, even Godzilla. Sadly, he ran out of time before he could ask them how they are handling that District 9 situation. Sorry Turd, maybe next time. Here’s the interview link:

SAfm Interview – Mustafa

Special shout out to all the new South African readers of the Deuce of Davenport, welcome to the site. Don’t worry if we don’t update for a day or two, we all have day jobs here but we’ll always find the time to throw something new and random up eventually. Cheers!

Sit down, Albert Contador. Your Tour de France dick move was impressive but it’s the slow season. Enjoy your dirty cycling win.

Here’s a real contender from South Africa. Watch Supersport double their lead over the Golden Arrows in hilarious and emasculating fashion.

I don’t know about you but if I’m that Arrows keeper, I’m going into that guy like Paul Scholes and Roy Keane on a normal day.

It’s almost over, soccer haters. The World Cup is coming to a close. The final and 3rd place games are all that remain. You can go back to fellating LeBron James and Brett Favre. Next week, it’s back to feeling empty for a month until NFL training camps and European club football start again. No longer will you have an excuse to drink excessively for days on end or watch sports at work. Your liver and boss probably won’t complain.

We’ll miss the spectacle of the World Cup and easy excuse to embrace xenophobia. However it won’t be hard to say goodbye to the vuvuzela. They turned into white noise after the first several games but we were also comforted by the knowledge that they would stay in South Africa. We could go back to piped in music and cheers over stadium/arena speakers after July 11th.

Good riddance to vuvuzelas. I don’t need to worry that a swarm of bees is attacking from all directions. They even drive people to kill. Who better than to send the vuvuzela back to China* than the good people of Will It Blend?

* Where did you think vuvuzelas were made? Same place as everything else.

Argentina is going to win the World Cup or go down in flames. There’s no middle ground when it comes to their 2010 squad. The reason? Manager Diego Maradona. He already complained about the toilets and had executive bidets installed for the team. Front and rear bidet wands. Side to side and all that shit. They also have 16 inch rims.

The crazy don’t stop there. It goes on the pitch too. Check this video from an Argentina training session. Do not lose a match in training under Maradona. If you do, this might will be your punishment.

I’ll tell you one thing. I’m getting ‘Nam-style flashbacks to playing Butts Up in school.

I just to see Maradona crack and be filmed with his head in a huge pile of coke. That would definitely make up for the Black Eyed Peas. Sepp Blatter and FIFA owe the world an apology for that abortion of an act.

It’s been a minute since we’ve thrown a soccer roundup at you so let’s get to it. Get your proper soccer news and analysis elsewhere. Here come the dirt and gossip.

Nobody Circles The Whores Like Ashley Cole

You have to hand it to Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole. He may be as dumb as a sack of tar balls but he certainly knows how to get over a nasty breakup. Just do what got you in trouble in the first place.

Cole’s ex-wife, Cheryl filed for divorce after repeated incidents of cheating by the star. That wasn’t going to keep him down. If he can’t have Cheryl, he’ll take the next best thing. A stripper who looks like Cheryl. Check and mate, woman.

“[Sarah Purnell] hasn’t got a bad word to say about him and has defended him when people have tried to have a go about Cheryl or the end of his marriage.

…Ashley has not done anything sleazy at all and has been extremely charming with her. He seems to really care for Sarah.

“He even told her she looks the spitting image of Cheryl but she’s getting used to that.”

Oh you stupid, stupid woman. Have fun with that and stay classy, Cashley. Every woman wants to hear that she looks exactly like an ex.

Adidas Strikes Back

Most people, even those who don’t follow sports religiously like we do, have seen the Nike “Write The Future” ad starring Nike’s impressive roster of soccer stars. Adidas came back with their version of the cantina scene from Star Wars. It may not have as many big soccer names as Nike’s ad but they make up for it with a strong lineup of musical heavyweights. See how many you can pick out, my nizzles.

Buffoona Buffoona Has Room For Benni McCarthy

Ashley Cole’s woman problems certainly haven’t hurt his form or place on the England squad in South Africa. Too bad the same can’t be said for West Ham and former South Africa striker Benni McCarthy.

McCarthy was cut from the South African national team (also known as Bafana Bafana) because he was overweight and physically out of shape. However, that wasn’t the only problem. It turns out he was also “entertaining girls” during training camp. Manager Carlos Parreira found out and bounced him and keeper Rowan Fernandez from the squad. The upside is McCarthy will now have plenty of time to entertain the ladies and have them stuff his face with bunny chow.** Winner winner bunny dinner.

**Bunny chow isn’t made from bunnies although we suspect that P.W. Botha and F.W. de Klerk demanded baby rabbits in their chow.

Let’s Take Another Opportunity To Laugh At Dimitar Berbatov