The window to weight gain is closing fast on the original Ronaldo now forever known as Fat Ronaldo. He’s determined to play for Brazil again and regrets the weight gain that would have made Homer proud.

It’s bad enough that another younger, better looking player takes your place but also taking your name? That’s some straight up cold shit.

Brazilian striker Ronaldo put on so much weight while he was injured this year that he was running out of clothes that fit him, he said on Tuesday.

“I couldn’t have got any fatter, I was running out of clothes,” Ronaldo said in an interview with the Sportv cable television station.

The former world great has been rehabbing with Flamengo and getting back in fighting shape. That’s bullshit. He was well on his way to Diego Maradona proportions before this ridiculous rehab/weight loss program.

Doesn’t he realize he could have gotten disability in addition to whatever payments he would have received from AC Milan and insurance? Now he has to fight his way back into national team contention with some half-ass team like Manchester City or Livorno. Maybe Mallorca would take him. Just keep him away from the buttered bull balls and buttermilk paella.

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Filed under: BrazilRonaldoShorty You FatSoccerThe Simpsons

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