Mark Sanchez ex-merkin shampooer and stone-handed wideout Braylon Edwards has spent years cultivating the image of a person who was full of himself.

On draft day in 2005, he openly complained about being drafted by the Cleveland Browns (okay, who could blame him?) over the Miami Dolphins. Edwards once chastised “QB” Charlie Frye on the sidelines during a game. Edwards complained that Browns “QB” and Panthers backup Derek Anderson threw the ball too hard. He criticized teammate Brian Russell for laying a great, and legal hit on receiver Chad Johnson. He defied Browns “Coach” Romeo Crennel and attended the Michigan/Ohio State football game and then was late for the Browns game the next day. He once asked an opposing team’s defender about how to break into modeling. He started a fight outside a nightclub in Cleveland with a dwarf. He got a DUI in New York City, where it is impossible not to get a cab, or hire a private driver, while on probation. He openly criticized both the city of Cleveland, and head coach Eric Mangini on the eve of a feisty Browns/Jets game that he didn’t do shit in. He was out drinking with Donte Stallworth the evening that Stallworth committed manslaughter. He appeared on an episode of Entourage; the worst show ever aired. He also participated in Auschwitz. He donated $1 million to Cleveland public schools. One of those is not entirely true; but the evidence suggests it.

Remarkably, Edwards did not manage to top former teammate and fellow wideout Santonio Holmes deal with the New York Jets. Instead, Edwards signed a more modest deal with no guaranteed money with the San Francisco 49ers, the franchise that time forgot.

With the facts on his side regarding a recent stabbing and hacked twitter account; Braylon Edwards has finally stood up to the liberal media that has cultivated the destruction of our country by the gays; and people who hate white Christians. Specifically, he is suing a Detroit restaurant for the supposed balance from a phantom contract offer from an unnamed team. Sounds like a solid case.

Edwards claims he had an offer from an NFL team with $15 million guaranteed, the suit says.

“Mr. Edwards’ offer was rescinded before it could be accepted because of the false, misleading, and/or negligent statements” that came out after his name was linked to the Aug. 1 fight at the restaurant.

Edwards “was forced to take a contract with a different NFL team “for only $1 million” in guaranteed money. Last month, Edwards signed a $3.5 million, one-year contract with San Francisco.

“The events of that evening in question, including the false and malicious allegations directed toward Braylon, have damaged his reputation and earnings potential,” Edwards’ agent, David Russell, said in a statement to The Associated Press.

Ignoring the fact that an offer can be rescinded absolutely ANYTIME before it is accepted without any legal recourse, that sounds terrible. Oh wait, he and his friends DID start a fight. Someone was stabbed.

Two members of Edwards’ group were arrested after two restaurant bouncers were assaulted at the restaurant, police have said. Edwards was interviewed by police, but was not charged in the case.

According to the suit, Edwards was attending a class reunion at the restaurant, was seated in the VIP section and “paid a South employee consideration for increased security and privacy.”

Patrons at a nearby table began harassing Edwards and his group, and that restaurant employees “swarmed the area” and confronted men at his table, according to the lawsuit.

Edwards said he was directed out of the restaurant through a rear door, but was blocked by an employee wielding a broom handle. Edwards said the man rushed him, causing both to fall to the floor.

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