Lobotomy-candidate and ordained asshole Mike Florio should be proud of himself. Only someone with a true absence of any integrity whatsoever would initiate a story about a hardrunning, Jesus-loving, truck towing, football player sitting out a game after losing 10-12 lbs. and flip it into an act of defiance in the midst of brutal contract negotiations. And then, in a culmination of his own efforts to cast doubt on the temerity of that player, and potentially irreparably harm the mutual hope at securing a deal, simply withdraw from the story.

To recap, Florio speculated on the story of Browns runningback Peyton Hillis sitting out a game because of strep throat. He specifically suggested that Hillis was sitting out the game, at least in part, because he was not signed to a long-term deal by the Browns. A few days later, ESPN evil leprechaun Adam Schefter offered a report by “anonymous sources” that said that teammates in the Browns locker room believed that Hillis was sitting out the game due to his contract negotiations not going well. Florio cited that report, and made no attempt to connect his speculative analysis preceding the report.

Florio then sent another note reporting on an appendectomy that Browns Center Alex Mack had the evening after a losing effort by the Browns against the Tennessee Titans. Florio took the story as an opportunity to remind his readers that Hillis had sat out with mere strep throat. Florio followed up that “report” with one that Hillis’ agent advised him not to play based on his illness, fanning the flames of a controversy that Florio created.

Rebutting anonymous sources, former Browns headcoach Eric Mangini completely refuted the notion that Hillis would sit out for a new deal, mentioning how Hillis continued to play despite injuries late last season. Current Browns head coach Pat Shurmur echoed that sentiment; along with teammates Greg Little, and Josh Cribbs. Hard to compete with “anonymous sources,” but it’s close.

Browns President Mike Holmgren has already admitted that they were working hard to sign Hillis to a long-term deal; and Hillis has never wavered from his desire to stay in Cleveland. When players sign new agents, the agents want to negotiate a new deal for the player because otherwise the agent doesn’t get paid, makes sense, right? Also, why not strike while the iron is hot. Still, Hillis had a great season last year, but injuries, and the lack of imagination slowed down his production towards the end of the season. Therefore, to what advent is it for him to sit out a game when another runningback who the Browns also really like, could be challenging him for playing time?

This level of speculation is apparently void from the creative mind of Mike Florio; who shoots first and never asks questions.

Finally, on Oct. 8, after planting the initial question that Hillis must be engaging in a negotiating tactic; Florio backpedaled quicker then Derrelle Revis with this little bit of “analysis:”

So even though it became a big story (especially in Cleveland), it’s apparently a non-story. Indeed, if the Browns had any reason to believe that Hillis didn’t play because of his contract, would team president Mike Holmgren agree to continue to have discussions on a long-term deal, at least until Hillis regains the franchise’s trust? We don’t think so.

Why do that when you can sit in your cozy New York office and just pontificate to the masses. Nice job creating a story, perpetuating a falsehood, and then declaring it to be a “nonstory.” You suck.

Mark Sanchez ex-merkin shampooer and stone-handed wideout Braylon Edwards has spent years cultivating the image of a person who was full of himself.

On draft day in 2005, he openly complained about being drafted by the Cleveland Browns (okay, who could blame him?) over the Miami Dolphins. Edwards once chastised “QB” Charlie Frye on the sidelines during a game. Edwards complained that Browns “QB” and Panthers backup Derek Anderson threw the ball too hard. He criticized teammate Brian Russell for laying a great, and legal hit on receiver Chad Johnson. He defied Browns “Coach” Romeo Crennel and attended the Michigan/Ohio State football game and then was late for the Browns game the next day. He once asked an opposing team’s defender about how to break into modeling. He started a fight outside a nightclub in Cleveland with a dwarf. He got a DUI in New York City, where it is impossible not to get a cab, or hire a private driver, while on probation. He openly criticized both the city of Cleveland, and head coach Eric Mangini on the eve of a feisty Browns/Jets game that he didn’t do shit in. He was out drinking with Donte Stallworth the evening that Stallworth committed manslaughter. He appeared on an episode of Entourage; the worst show ever aired. He also participated in Auschwitz. He donated $1 million to Cleveland public schools. One of those is not entirely true; but the evidence suggests it.

Remarkably, Edwards did not manage to top former teammate and fellow wideout Santonio Holmes deal with the New York Jets. Instead, Edwards signed a more modest deal with no guaranteed money with the San Francisco 49ers, the franchise that time forgot.

With the facts on his side regarding a recent stabbing and hacked twitter account; Braylon Edwards has finally stood up to the liberal media that has cultivated the destruction of our country by the gays; and people who hate white Christians. Specifically, he is suing a Detroit restaurant for the supposed balance from a phantom contract offer from an unnamed team. Sounds like a solid case.

Edwards claims he had an offer from an NFL team with $15 million guaranteed, the suit says.

“Mr. Edwards’ offer was rescinded before it could be accepted because of the false, misleading, and/or negligent statements” that came out after his name was linked to the Aug. 1 fight at the restaurant.

Edwards “was forced to take a contract with a different NFL team “for only $1 million” in guaranteed money. Last month, Edwards signed a $3.5 million, one-year contract with San Francisco.

“The events of that evening in question, including the false and malicious allegations directed toward Braylon, have damaged his reputation and earnings potential,” Edwards’ agent, David Russell, said in a statement to The Associated Press.

Ignoring the fact that an offer can be rescinded absolutely ANYTIME before it is accepted without any legal recourse, that sounds terrible. Oh wait, he and his friends DID start a fight. Someone was stabbed.

Two members of Edwards’ group were arrested after two restaurant bouncers were assaulted at the restaurant, police have said. Edwards was interviewed by police, but was not charged in the case.

According to the suit, Edwards was attending a class reunion at the restaurant, was seated in the VIP section and “paid a South employee consideration for increased security and privacy.”

Patrons at a nearby table began harassing Edwards and his group, and that restaurant employees “swarmed the area” and confronted men at his table, according to the lawsuit.

Edwards said he was directed out of the restaurant through a rear door, but was blocked by an employee wielding a broom handle. Edwards said the man rushed him, causing both to fall to the floor.