Until two weeks ago, when Ortiz beat the shit out of Ryan Bader, the only fights Tito Ortiz could win were against his wife, who has some skills of her very own from spending most of her career at full guard (raises eyebrows, chomps on cigar).

But now, because casual fans who don’t really watch UFC but want to convince their girlfriends that they do, we get Tito Ortiz against Rashad Evans in a rematch from their bout at UFC 73 in July 2007, instead of a fresh fight for Evans against a legitimate contender. For those of you keeping track, Rashad Evans was originally set to fight Jon “Bones” Jones, but Jones pulled out due to injury. Then Jones’ replacement, Phil Davis, had to pull out also due to injury. After reports that both Lyoto Machida and Ortiz had turned down the fight, Ortiz said “Just playin!” Now Ortiz is squaring up against Evans in the main event at UFC 133 on August 6 in Philadelphia, where undoubtedly this won’t be the only fight in the city that evening (it’s dangerous out there!).

Taste the sad, MMAWeekly.com:

Ultimately, Ortiz has opted to accept the fight and will rematch Rashad Evans in Philadelphia. Still riding the high from his last fight and win over Ryan Bader, Ortiz says he’s far from being done.

“Hopefully everybody will be happy. I’m happy; my camp’s happy. The future will hold great things for me, and this Cinderella story is not over yet,” said Ortiz.

I think I can speak for everyone when I say “I hope you’re wrong.”

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