God Help Us
By all accounts, UFC 125 was a spectacular success, top-to-bottom the card was solid, and the fights were more exciting then when two chicks in the ghetto are going at it. We’re talking nails, hair extensions, and eventually gun fire.
Despite this, however, UFC fans of all ages wept for their beloved sport late Saturday evening as Tito Ortiz, previously 0-4-1 in his last five bouts, managed to pull out an impressive win against a legitimate up-and-comer in Ryan Bader. We also had to watch Wanderlei Silva, one of the most exciting fighters to ever battle in the UFC, fold like a cheap card table against Chris Leben. Your humble correspondent had to be put on “suicide watch” and was successfully coaxed off a ledge. We can all now look forward to at least two more fights with Ortiz talking more trash then Rex Ryan, and then coming up shorter then the Chargers in the postseason (god I miss football!).
Although it was bad enough that Ortiz got the victory over somebody not named Ken Shamrock, but this just makes it a little bit worse.
Ortiz, who was a 5-1 underdog, would have been cut had he not won. The former champ, though, not only submitted Ryan Bader, but he won a $75,000 bonus for the Submission of the Night when he caught Bader in a guillotine choke after dropping him with a right hand.
(chugs Drano, swallows huge pill bottle, lies on couch, applies lipstick)
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