Wednesday, January 9, 2008

New Jordan Shoes Just As Ugly As The Rest

The new Jordan XX3's are set to be released this month and what is going on with that pattern on these shoes? They look like they have one of those "3-D" image posters that you're supposed to stare at for an hour while somehow relaxing your eyes just to see a lame T-Rex jumping out at you on em. Truthfully, I don't know anyone who actually wears the Jordan brand of shoe anymore. Long gone are the days when kids were skipping school and lining up at the store to get the new Jordan's for the year. At this point, these shoes are for the collectors and completionists out there that have the other 22 Air Jordans that Michael Jordan and Nike have made over the years.

Who really wants to wear a sneaker of a recently divorced, womanizing, deadbeat father, front office mismanaging, shell of an athlete with a massive gambling addiction who hasn't played a game in 5 years where when he did play SUCKED HORRIBLY AND WAS RUN OUT OF TOWN? Anyone? Anyone? I don't see anyone lining up for the new Isiah Thomas' or the new Billy King's showing up at Foot Locker anywhere so why is there another Jordan shoe?

Also, who in their right mind would drop $230 dollars ($185 dollars for the national release edition) on a sneaker and then actually wear it anyway? I just dropped $65 bucks on an $85 running shoe at DSW and I am afraid to wear those outside because I cannot imagine the horror of running down their treads let alone a scuff or tear on those suckers.

Nike needs to stop, they've exploited Jordan's name long enough to finally make his 23rd edition of the shoe brand. Let's hope its the last...and someone bring back British Knights while we're at it, their commercials were dope.



17 comments:

Scott Sargent said...

I also read that they're "green." So in case you want to just leave them outside for a few years, they'll decompose properly...

The Sports Hernia said...

More hate on the shoe:

NEW Jordans Apparently Designed by first grade

Anonymous said...

Jordan "SUCKED HORRIBLY" ??

He is also widely considered the greatest athlete to ever live.

Joe Cullen Drive-Bye said...

"recently divorced, womanizing, deadbeat father, front office mismanaging, shell of an athlete with a massive gambling addiction"

So your saying you wouldn't do the same?

They are better than crocs on the other hand.

Chimpanzee Rage said...

If he is widely considered to be the best athlete that ever lived then why could he not play baseball? Ali is considered the best athlete that ever lived anyway so suck it.

Chimpanzee Rage said...

agreed they are better than crocs, for sure

Derrick Coleman said...

"and someone bring back British Knights while we're at it, their commercials were dope."

I'm Derrick Coleman and I support this message.

Matt said...

1) Baseball has a totally different skill set from basketball.

2) You don't have to be an athlete to be good at baseball.

"I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."
John Kruk, multi year all star and top 100 OBP

3) Jordan, Ali, Armstrong, Woods, Gretzky - Most dominant athletes ever. Not necessarily in that order

/leaves blog, possibly never to appear again, unless Deadspin picks you up.

Chimpanzee Rage said...

1) yes, it does, so?

2) Once upon a time maybe, now you have to be jacked on roids to play ball. You gotta be an athlete...unless you're a pitcher.

3)Anonymous said he was The greatest athlete to ever live. I disagree, i think he was just possibly one of the greatest basketball players ever to live. As an athlete, he certainly wasn't, there's plenty people more athletic than him.

4) All of this distracts from the fact that he sucked in his last 2 years in DC and his current new shoes suck. Focus people! FOCUS!!

Anonymous said...

A little harsh there...I work for Champs and Jordans are doing just fine. The Retro 8s sold out in about 15 minutes (100 pairs in my store alone), and sold out all over the district, and im still getting calls for them. The Retro Force 1s did ok, and they are pretty much 145 dollar Air Forces (reg. 79) with a Jordan Logo.


Remember these shoes are aimed at Urban communities.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone ask for the sales numbers at Champs or anywhere else? Of course they're selling.

The point is the sneakers are as ugly as a dead sack of balls.

Big Head said...

I just got my pair of Billy King's. I also got a pair of Carmelo Anthony boxing gloves. The padding is only in the palm of one hand and the directions say something about "turn and run afterwards".

Chimpanzee Rage said...

see, now that's funny

Anonymous said...

The jordan brand makes $500m a year. Do your research buddy.

Anonymous said...

Your attacks on jordan seem personal. Why did you call him a deadbeat father?

Anonymous said...

I am curious as to why you din't mention Larry Bird in your list of bad gms

Anonymous said...

Jordans are probably the best shoes ever except for maybe chucks. I think the new 23's are beautiful, and they are probably great basketball shoes. And as far as Jordan goes, he's the best basketball player ever, (maybe not the best athlete) so dont hate just because hes amazing and your not. and as far as his last two years go, give the man a break, he won 6 rings and he was getting tired. Its hard being the BEST!!