It Doesn't Work On So Many Levels

Surely you noticed the rash (no pun intended) of groin injuries in sports. No? Vinny Iyer of the Sporting News has all the info you'll ever want on groin injuries.

"The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right (testicle)."
--Ken Griffey Jr.

The casualty list is quite impressive. Steve McNair, Ken Griffey Jr., Stephen Jackson, Tavaris Jackson, John Lynch and Santana Moss among others.

It's About Time Hockey Figured It Out

Four fights in the first period. This is how you get me to pay attention to hockey.



They might want to consider releasing a panther or puma on the ice during power play situations to make things more interesting.

Super! Thanks For Asking!

Tim Hardaway loves the gays. In fact he prefers it if you call him Big Gay Tim.

Unlike Isiah Washington, Hardaway decided to send himself to gayhab and it appears to be taking. In case you forgot, he told the world that he hated gay people when asked how he would have felt about having a gay teammate. David Stern responded by tossing him out of Vegas and banning him from participating in any All-Star weekend activities.

Since then, Hardaway was encouraged by the backlash to his comments to get his learn on and deal with his homophobia. He's been working with the YES Institute which "works to prevent youth suicide and ensure the healthy development of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth".

"I just wanted to go in and get educated, that's all. Get educated on what I said and why I said those things," Hardaway said Thursday in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm working on understanding it now. I'm not really trying to make amends. I've been there trying to get help."

"I had no idea how much I hurt people," said Hardaway, who spent most of his NBA career with the Golden State Warriors and Miami Heat, and still makes his home in South Florida. "A lot of people."

Give the man some credit. At least he didn't pull a Mark Foley and claim that he was an alcoholic.

He's been working with the institute on the DL so that it would seem like a publicity stunt or quick-fix. Employees of the institute have praised Hardaway for his progress and continuing work with the kids.

Director Martha Fugate said that Hardaway was "so genuine" and said she was suprised at "how real" their relationship became with him. That's so Real World of them.

Seriously, Hardaway is doing exactly what he should be doing. Most people especially athletes never respond in a positive manner to criticism about homophobic, racist or sexist comments. In fact, they never realize why people are upset in the first place. He might want to get some of his fellow NBA players to join him and see the effects that prejudice can have on people especially the shorties.

You Can Get A Good Look At A Cowboy's Ass By Sticking Your Head Up There

Bucked In The Stinkeye

It must be nice living in Columbus, Ohio. Slow pace of life than in the big city. The Scioto River never catches on fire. You can actually buy a case of beer or five good minutes with a hooker for $20. No wonder Money magazine named it the 8th best large city to live in the US.

I'm sure all the above reasons are why Ohio State QB Antonio Henton decided to attend the Ohio State University. I'm sure the $20 sex was the clincher. Too bad no one told him that you shouldn't try to get it from a cop.

Henton was arrested on Monday for soliciting a cop to have sex for $20. He pleaded not guilty on Tuesday. He could receive up to six months in jail and a $1000 fine but most times, a small fine is usually the penalty.

Maybe he should have showed his student ID with the $20 in order to get the Student Advantage discount.

After The Rextacy Is Gone

What used to be right is wrong. Stand at attention for the 21 Sex Cannon salute.



If I were Griese, I'd watch out for roofies at his next cookout. He doesn't want to make sweet love to his driveway again and end up back on the bench.

Just A Bit Outside

Maybe this has been posted before but it's the first time we've seen it.

Leave Jose Alone

Why Aren't You The Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked

You tried your best and you wildly succeeded. The lesson is "never try". That's the lesson if you coach basketball at Our Savior Lutheran in the Bronx.

Basketball coach Oswald Cross was fired after four years in charge for being too good.

"I was shocked," said Cross, who has coached at his alma mater for four years. "They said they were going in a different direction with the program, to focus on intramurals."

The school is a small private school that according to the Daily News has quickly turned into a city powerhouse. This is unacceptable for the school's administration. Perhaps they think they can attract worse players if they have the top intermural program in the city.

"I like Mr. Cross personally, but I think there was a difference in philosophies," OSL admissions director Rev. Paul Sauer said. "He was making the team into a national powerhouse and the school - we are a very small school - did not have the resources or abilities to support that."

It seems Sauer didn't inform Cross that part of his duties would consist of continuing a proud tradition of not being very good at all.

Sauer had no comment on the rumor that Our Savior is considering buying out Tim Floyd's contract and bringing him to the Bronx. If they're unsuccessful in their pursuit of Floyd, they can always go after Isiah Thomas.

Is It A Fight If No One Watches

Welcome back NHL. We didn't notice you left. How rude of us.



Video courtesy of hockeyfights.com

Another Goldie Boy Production

Fishnets give Oscar de la Hoya the freedom of movement that he so desperately wants and needs. Maybe he thinks they'll give him the advantage he needs to beat Ricky Hatton.

de la Hoya isn't letting Goldiegate stop him from pushing for a matchup between him and Ricky Hatton. He intends to fight three more times before hanging the gloves and high heels up for good.

"I'm used to fighting once a year. I'm at the tail-end of my career but I feel that if I can have one tune-up fight first, get the ring-rust out of me, get into the rhythm of things, then I can have two other big fights in May and September."

In order for this to happen, Hatton has to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. in November. He seems to have forgetten all the talk about a rematch with Mayweather. Guess he thinks the boxing world isn't ready to see boxers in sequins and fishnets fight each other. Strangé playboy Strangé.

You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em

You think you know match-fixing, Tim Donaghy? Please. You have nothing on African sport. When it comes to corruption and Africa, quality is job #1.

Bamboutos FC captain Koss Roger faked an injury during a match against Federal FC. While he was being attended to by medical personnel, a medic handed him an envelope containing cash in front of match officials and fans. Roger then handed the envelope of Federal SC captain Nkoun a Rim.

Rim played his role and was involved in an incident that led to Bamboutos' third and winning goal.

Fuck all that undercover bullshit. That's how you bribe somebody! You get right up on the muthafucka and blam! Rock-a-bye, baby!

Happy Days Are Here Again

It's not so bad. It's like the good old days where Chelsea hovered around in the top half of the table. Always teasing you but eventually breaking your heart. At least we'll dump all the new plastics and they can return to the red tide fold where they belong.

I've refrained from commenting on the disaster that is Chelsea over the past week. I've gone through several stages over the loss of Jose Mourinho such as anger, grief and confusion. The loss of the Special One was bad enough but the pain was doubled when rumors came out that captain and supposed Jose apprentice John Terry was the one that landed the kill shot.

In an move straight out of Revenge of the Sith, Anakin Terry allegedly went above Jose's head to management after he found out that Jose had checked with the medical staff to find out why his form was off. This infuriated Terry and word of the dispute reached Satan otherwise known as Peter Kenyon. This was all the evidence Chancellor Abramovich needed to get rid of Jose.

"You were the chosen one!"
"I hate you!!"

Nooooooo!!! It would seem the alleged heart of Chelsea has joined the dark side. However he denies that he was the "turncoat" and is considering legal action to stop the claims.

Fast forward to Sunday's match vs. Manchester United and the debut of Slithe otherwise known as Avram Grant. The match resulted in a 2-0 defeat for Chelsea. Although the match was ruined by the ref, Chelsea looked useless and only attempted one shot on goal the entire match. Jose could have done that. The loss cost Roman GBP 8M (amount of Jose's buyout).

The drama didn't limit itself to the field. Marco Van Basten and Sven-Goran Eriksson were sitting near Abramovich and his gaggle of yes-men. The arrival of the current Netherlands coach would somewhat ease the pain. Could Sven be making nice with Roman this early? Does Chelsea have better secretaries than Citeh? We can only hope that Grant has a terrible run continuing with Hull on Wednesday. The more he loses, the faster someone new and better comes in to take the helm.

Did we mention that Grant's wife thinks drinking her own piss will bring all the boys to the yard?

The times are ill.

Why Won't You Stay Dead?

It's a shame that professional athletes don't know when to walk away for good. Tie Domi has definitely lost his fighting edge. It's just embarrassing. Islanders fans can only hope that the team isn't on the hook for millions of dollars.