Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Ain't That A Kick In The D--k

Hey Zhang Bin, we want you to you to be the face of our new network to over a billion people! How's that sound? What if we also made you the face of our Olympic coverage?? Sound good? Yeah? Now what if we throw in a pissed-off wife? Whose wife? Yours!

It's one thing being shamed in front of milllions like Hawaii's offensive line. It's another to be called out and made to look like an assclown by your wife in front of hundreds of millions.

Zhang Bin was in the midst of relaunching CCTV-5 as the Olympics Channel when his wife crashed the set, grabbed his mike and read him the riot act for allegedly having an affair. She then compared his adulterous behavior to China's poor human rights record.

Only two hours earlier, she said, she'd discovered his "improper relationship."

And as Zhang stood open-mouthed, uncertain what to do, she bravely coupled his infidelity with her country's poor human rights record.

"Today is a special day for the Olympics Channel, it's a special day for Zhang Bin, and it's a special day for me too," she said.

...Fighting off attempts to remove her, she said: "That French foreign diplomat also said that until China is able to start exporting its values, it won't be able to become a great power." "Yet Zhang Bin can't even face up to his own hurt wife. I think China, to succeed as a great power...

"Don't any of you have any conscience? Let go of me! We're very far from being a great country."
Zhang figured he was in the clear thanks to the government's oppressive censorship but no such luck. Video was posted on Chinese websites but was then moved to international websites like YouTube after the Chinese government removed them from the Chinese sites.



Play on, playa. Play on.

3 comments:

Chris said...

he might be sleeping on the couch tonight.

Chimpanzee Rage said...

she might be sleeping with the fishes tonight

JC said...

The announcer on Ninja Warrior breathes a sigh of relief.