Laziness: the New Corporate Marketing Tool

Ned Flanders doesn’t believe in homeowner’s insurance because he sees it as a form of gambling: an activity strictly verboten in the Bible.  For the rest of us, insurance is another way to mercilessly gouge you protect your investments on such things as a home, car, and Troy Polamalu’s hair.  Basically, all of the bad decisions you make in your life (sorry, new home buyers circa 2006!).  Well, now the stupid companies that tie their investments to the athletes that will surely fail them have a way out, too!  Read the rest of this entry

Who’s the next England player to be busted cheating on his wife with prostitutes? Wayne Rooney, come on down! He may not be scoring on the pitch but he sure knows how to put it in when it comes to the hoes.

Rooney was busted for cheating on his wife Colleen with Jennifer Thompson, a £1,000-a-night prostitute, while she was pregnant with their son. He slept with Thompson on several occasions over four months.

You might remember Rooney from previous hooker episodes such as Over 50 Whores. He apologized to his wife back then but was forced to come clean this weekend.

Rooney now expects betrayed Coleen to throw him out of their £5million mansion in Cheshire and begin moves for an explosive divorce. He told a pal yesterday: “My life is in ruins…I’ve been so stupid. Coleen won’t forgive me this time. She will leave me.”

No one has ever accused the striker of being intelligent. They not only stayed in the same hotel every time they hooked up but he also took her out on dates to various Manchester bars and clubs.

Of course, Thompson had no problem selling her story to the Mirror. Some of the details were mundane and what you would expect. However there were some interesting tidbits. He sent her loads of text messages as one would expect. However he also talked to her on Skype under a false name. What? Here’s FourFourTwo’s James Maw’s reaction via Twitter:

If that’s not enough to make this suspect, Thompson is only 21. That’s way too young for Rooney. Then again, we could be wrong. He may take them 8 to 80, dumb, crippled and crazy.

Regardless, Rooney knows Colleen’s going to come around saying, “Wayne, I want half!” Endorsements? Ask Tiger Woods how those are going for him right now.

To be a fly on the wall during Alex Ferguson’s next face to face conversation with Rooney. He’ll pray for the hair dryer treatment.

Out Of Africa: Best Remake Of The Summer

I’m going to miss the World Cup when it’s over.

There’s no question that Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney is having the season of his career. However anyone who tries to claim that he’s in better form than Barcelona’s Lionel Messi needs to put down the pipe and step back from Max Wright. The boy is the truth.

Messi scored a hat trick against Real Zaragoza on Sunday to put himself at eight goals in the past three games. That’s right. He scored three against Valencia last weekend and another two mid-week. He may be scoring too much. He actually gave a teammate a penalty kick as if it was spare change.

Two hat tricks in one week is good enough but he had to go and pull this for his second goal yesterday.

Oh no, he didn’t. Yes he did. That’s some straight Maradona right there minus the Colombian marching powder.

If you’re interested in watching match highlights including the hat trick, click here. Cristiano Ronaldo should sit his pouting ass down and watch how a real professional gets it done.