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Chad Pennington Can’t Take A Hint

Guess which perpetually injured quarterback who has trouble throwing the ball more than 30 yards wants back on an NFL field? Chad Pennington of course! Even more shocking is that the Dolphins wouldn’t mind him back as an insurance option for Chad Henne, but they need to see if he can actually throw a 15 yard out route first. That’s right, they aren’t sure if he can hit a 15 yard out route because his arm/shoulder have been so shredded throughout his career. Isn’t that what you want in a backup quarterback?

Lets take a look at Chad’s injury history in his 9 seasons of pro football real quick:

  • 2002 - Fracture/dislocation on his left (non-throwing) hand (missed 6 games)
  • 2004 - Injured right rotator cuff (missed 4 games)
  • Feb  2005 - Surgery to repair substantial tear in the right rotator cuff, as well as a large bone spur.
  • Sept 2005 - Injured right rotator cuff.
  • Oct  2005 - Surgery to repair his right rotator cuff.
  • 2007 - High ankle sprain (missed 1 game); benched after 8 games.
  • Sept 2009 - Injured right shoulder.
  • Oct  2009 - Surgery to repair labrum tear and shoulder capsule.

Wow…ok. If this was baseball, this guy would only be tossing balls for a rec league softball team. A guy who never had much arm strength to begin with, coming off his 3rd shoulder surgery, who has only played in 16 games twice in his career, seriously wants to give it another go? I dont want to be the bearer of bad news but, c’mon, read the tea leaves Chad.

Pennington needs to listen to his body more than his heart. He may have the desire to play still, but his body has already told him he just shouldn’t do it.

From Miami Herald

The Good News Is, You Didn’t Die

The bad news?  Well, you fell into a hole in a mountain son.  Check this skier out who narrowly avoids death while falling off a mountain top, crashing upon landing, then falling into a hole in the earth.  If they could dub Homer Simpson’s voice throughout his fall i’d imagine its something like “D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! D’ohD’ohD’ohD’ohD’oh! D’ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”  Amazing that he lived.

From On The Edge

Tim Tebow Just Got Owned

I gather that Tim Tebow is extremely good at football. That’s just as well, for he certainly isn’t very good at thinking.”  - Richard Dawkins (Former Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford; author of “The God Delusion” and “The Greatest Show on Earth”.)

From The Washington Post

Lets Make Some Prop Bets!

The greatest thing about the super bowl every year is not at all the game itself, no, its the money that can be made off the game by the silly ass prop bets that can be made. Lets look at some of the best and most random ones that are available to you, the silly gambler. (for those that don’t know, picking something +100 or +1000 is good value. If you take an event +1000, if you bet 100 dollars you would win 1000. If you take an event +5000, if you bet 100 dollars you win 5000. Move the decimal point as you want depending on your wager or the odds given to you. Now you know how to gamble).

What will team call for opening Coin Toss

Heads -130
Tails +100

First score of the game is a safety +5000

First O lineman to be called for a safety
Carl Nicks, Jahri Evans, Jeff Saturday, Jonathan Goodwin, Kyle DeVan, and Ryan Lilja all have the worst odds at +800

The first punt of the game will be:

Caught Clearly -275
Ball Hits Ground +200
Out of Bounds in Air +800
Touchback +300
Blocked or Tipped +1500

The ultimate coin flip bet, Brees (or Manning) total pass yrds made will be end in an

Even Number -105 or Odd Number -105

Will both teams make a FG of 33+ yards in game

Yes +170
No -210

For the Buffalo Bills fans out there “First missed field goal in the game will be…”

Wide Left -120
Wide Right -110

What will happen for the 1st coaches challenge

Play overturned -115
Play stands -115

How long will it take Carrie Underwood to sing the National Anthem? Clock starts as soon as Underwood sings first Note and Stops when she sings her last note.

Over 1 Minute and 42 Seconds EVEN
Under 1 Minute and 42 Seconds -130

What will the Neilson TV Rating be?

Over 42.9 Nielsen Rating -165
Under 42.9 Nielson Rating +135

Which Super Bowl commercial will have a higher rating on USA Today’s annual Ad Meter

Anheuser-Busch / Budweiser 5/8
Go 8/1
Career Builder 8/1
Coca-Cola 7/1
Family First 12/1
Doritos 2/1
Other 13/1

Which sideline reporter will be on TV first after the opening kick off.

Solomon Wilcots -110
Steve Tasker -120

Total number of players to have passing attempt

Over 2½ players +230
Under 2½ players -260

Who will have more Total 1st downs vs Total points on Feb 5

NO Saints 1st downs -1 points -110
Antawn Jamison (Wash) +1 points -120

Morstead vs McAfee - Who will have shortest punt?

Thomas Morstead -110
Pat McAfee -120

Which quarter the most points willl be scored?

1st quarter +280
2nd quarter +150
3rd quarter +300
4th quarter +200

What Color will the Gatorade be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?

Lime Green 11/2
Yellow 20/23
Orange 5/1
Red 25/2
Blue 25/2
Clear/Water 3/2

Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game thank first?

God 20/23
Family 6/1
Teammates 5/4
Coach 10/1
Does not Thank Anyone 9/2

How Many Times will CBS show Archie Manning on TV during the Game?

Over 4 times -155
Under 4 times +125

How Many Times will CBS show Kim Kardashian on TV during the Game?

Over 2.5 times -105
Under 2.5 times -125

How Many Times will CBS announcers fully mention Hurricane Katrina during the game

Over 2.5 times -140
Under 2.5 times +110

And finally, Which CBS Show will get the most Promo’s during the game?

Undercover Boss 10/19
CSI 6/1
CSI Miami 9/2
NCIS 21/4
NCIS LA 12/1
Big Bang Theory 15/1
How I Met Your Mother 9/1
Two and a Half Men 14/1

There are plenty more of these silly bets to be made, check out your local online gambling institution for more. I got these all off of and TheGreek.

I love the “ugh” at the very end. Fitting.

The 110,428 Calorie Stadium

So…many…heart attacks!
Amazing isnt it?  This is’s Snack Stadium II.  I only hope I can create something a tenth of this size for the Super Bowl this year.  Just so delicious!!  Check out LA Weekly for the whole story and TONS more pictures of this tasty structure.

Best Names In Top 50 MLB Prospects just put out their top 50 prospects list and well collected it is.  I’m psyched the Nationals have 2 people on it, for realz son!  Whenever i look at lists of players like this though, i can’t help but poke a little fun at some of this year’s new crop of possible MLB superstars names.  Juvenile?  For sure.  Bad habit?  Yup.    Lets look at a few guys that should be the number one prospects in our hearts, if only from their names.

10. Madison Bumgarner - I envision this guy to look like on of the old guys from Trading Places. I know he PROBABLY doesn’t. But it’d be great to have a kid coming up that looks like a 50 year old rich white man. Just with that name he could sit right beside Randolph and Mortimer with a cocktail in one hand and a cigar in another. “Looking good Madison!” “Feeling Good, Louis!”

11. Carlos Santana - His walking to the plate music has GOT to be “Oye Como Va” since it loosely translates to “Check this out”, like “Check out this home run I’m about to blast”. When he hits a home run, i will expect Karl Ravech to shout out “ABRAXIS!!” on Baseball Tonight, even though I haven’t watched that show since the MLB Network came into existence. This kid has about a million nicknames built into his name being shared with the esteemed guitarist. Personally, I think he should be called “Jugando” after the track on Santana’s album “Moonflower”. Not only the final part to a badass 3 part medley, it also means “at play”. Apropos no?

22. Starlin Castro - I’ve never been more divided about a name ever. Castro is always badass since he shares the last name with a ruthless dictator. On the other hand, Starlin is sort of a cross between a fish and a luminous ball of plasma. No idea how your parents think that is a good idea. Maybe its a family name. Or maybe they’re just a fan of comic books.

30. Yonder Alonso - If ever a name cried out for a new version of the classic “Who’s on First” sketch it could be Yonder.

“Who’s Alonso?”
“I didn’t ask where, I asked who!”
/punch in face

39. Tanner Scheppers - What an odd name. It sort of sounds like an alcoholic beverage. I do not know why. Just odd. But I like it.

50. Jaff Decker - Jaff just sounds like a name out of Star Wars or something. Like Dack was or Wedge or Biggs…basically he sounds like an X-Wing pilot and that, in and of itself, is AWESOME.  He has a lot to live up to.

Best Sunday of NFL Football This Playoffs Season

This past Sunday afternoon of playoff football was by far the best 2 games of the playoffs this season. Sure, the Colts and Jets game was done after the colts took a two score lead, but before that it was pretty impressive, but the Saints/Vikings game was an ass load full of entertainment. You had Purple Jesus fumbling the ball left and right. You had Brett Favre playing like a kid, leading the league in smiles, and just gunslinging the ball into the hands of Vikings defenders, ultimately losing the game for his team. It was non stop entertainment and sure I was drunk most the time, but Goddammit, it was for my dollar the best weekend of playoff football yet.

I don’t even know if the Super Bowl can come close to this weekend. You had an overtime game, you had parts of games that were defensive masterpieces, you had parts of games that were offensive explosions, you had untimely pentalties, you had untimely turnovers, you had untimely fumbles and dropped interceptions that weren’t turnovers but should have been, you had challenges, booth reviews, and you had Brett Favre getting beat into the ground and looking like the old man that he is.  The Saints win and the Colts win.  Fun times.

This is what the NFL playoffs should be about. The previous Wild Card and Divisional games that preceeded this weekend of AFC and NFC Championships really cannot even compare. For both these games, you had two relatively evenly matched oppenents facing off their strength vs the other teams strength in a battle for the ultimate conquest…a chance at the Lombardi Trophy. The Jets’ suffocating defense versus the robotically efficient Colts’ offense. MATCHUP! The Vikings’ high flying offense and intense defense versus the Saints’ even more high flying offense and even more intense defense. MATCHUP!

Sorry to sound like an NFL fanboy but I was in heaven watching these games. If parity rules in the NFL then I hope every weekend is like this. Now, we have the Saints in their very first Super Bowl appearance versus the Colts.

The Colts are an extremely efficient offense that thrives on not making any mistakes with their precise attack and they are going against a defense that thrives on forcing their opponents into making mistakes. The Saints offense isn’t as efficient but their firepower makes up for it in that they have so many weapons to get the balls into the hands of, not to mention a quarterback that can put the ball into the hands of the playmakers when they are open. The Colts’ defense is solid, but will certainly have trouble matching up against the numerous options the Saints have.

This might be a Super Bowl I am genuinely excited about for the first time in a long time. Two high powered offenses against two generally decent defenses makes for a pretty evenly matched game with plenty of fireworks. Hooray for the NFL, David Stern couldn’t have planned for a better championship game.

(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

20 members of a weight watchers in Sweeden were attending a meeting at their local clinic when the unexpected occurred, the floor buckled under the weight of them. They thought it was an earthquake, but no, just a fatquake.

“The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls,” one Weight Watchers participant told the Smålandsposten newspaper.
Soon, the fault lines spread around the room, and other sections of the floor gave way.

A freaking fatquake! If this happened here in the states you know there would’ve been all sorts of news coverage on this and how fat our nation has become as a whole. In reality, it probably was more of a structural problem than a weight problem, floors really shouldnt do that generally. But still, this event did allow me to create the term Fatquake and for that I am happy.

From Telegraph UK