By now, many are familiar with the story of Miguel Cabrera’s DUI arrest last month. The Detroit Tigers slugger was pulled over after police saw his car on the side of the road in Ft. Pierce, Florida near the Tigers’ spring training facility. He asked the cops if they knew who he was and continued to take swigs from a whiskey bottle while being arrested.

The Florida State’s Attorney’s office released their evidence against Cabrera on Wednesday and let’s just say it’s not pretty. The Smoking Gun reports that prior to his arrest, he was in a bar after closing. He was asked to leave by the manager and refused.

[Bar manager Fletcher] Nail said that Cabrera “leaned down close to my face” and said, “I will kill you.” Nail added that the ballplayer looked around the bar and added, “I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.” Another witness, a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission agent, told investigators that Cabrera threatened him and Nail “by saying he had a gun in his bag for us.”

Cabrera left while cussing at Nail and a bar patron. Police found him on the side of the road. When they approached him, he threatened to kill an imaginary passenger and refused to cooperate.

After giving a Florida cop the middle finger, baseball star Miguel Cabrera shouted at police, “Fucking shoot me, kill me” when ordered to drop to his knees so that officers could handcuff him, according to a sheriff’s report.

The 27-year-old athlete, busted last month in Fort Pierce for drunk driving, also stated, “Fuck you. Do you know who I am? I’m Miguel Cabrera, I play for the Detroit Tigers, you don’t know my family.”

This incident is the most recent in a long line of incidents involving Cabrera and alcohol. In 2009, GM Dave Dombrowski had to pick him up from the police station the morning before a game after police were called to his house. He was found with scratches on his face and blew a .26. Since then, he’s been in rehab and also threatened restaurant patrons by claiming he had a gun.

Cabrera has exhibited an extremely disturbing pattern of behavior since he’s been in the majors and especially with the Tigers. One has to wonder if this is why the Marlins dumped him (besides being incredibly cheap). He’s one of the best players in baseball but with all due respect to Charlie Sheen, he’s slowly destroying himself.

The Tigers put Dontrelle Willis on the DL twice in 2009 so he could deal with his anxiety issues yet they can’t step up and make Cabrera sort himself out? Teams often ignore off the field problems as long as the player concerned continues to put up numbers and perform. He may continue to produce on the field but that shouldn’t be the limit of their concern.

The additional information released yesterday should encourage the team’s hierarchy to intervene and make him get the help he needs. It’s long overdue. They’re also better off doing it now than in July and August when it happens again. So far it’s business as usual.

Legedu Naanee asks the Patriots why they're being such (expletive) and not letting Vincent Jackson catch the ball.

“Do you know who I am?” Anyone who’s a regular listener of Tony Kornheiser’s radio show** knows his signature line when they hear it. He gets away with the running joke. Chargers wide receiver Legedu Naanee does not.

Naanee was arrested and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest after refusing to leave an active crime scene.

According to police, Naanee came across an active crime scene at about 3:20 a.m. and was told he would have to turn around or go in another direction. Naanee, who according to police had a “strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on or about his breath or person,” asked the officer why he was being “such an (expletive).”

The police officer said after several attempts to get Naanee to leave the scene failed, he told Naanee he was under arrest. Naanee “actively began to pull away” and the officer used pepper spray but Naanee continued to resist.

Eventually he was handcuffed and as he was being walked to the police car, Naanee said, according to police, “Do you know who I am? I am an NFL player and I’m going to sue your ass.”

Quoting Kornheiser didn’t work for Naanee. Maybe he should have channeled Joe Namath and said, “I want to kiss you”.

Naanee’s agent, Buddy Baker, waited until Naanee resisted and was handcuffed before he intervened. He told the cop that he “was going to ruin [Naanee's] career”. That’s a bit of an overreaction. Marvin Lewis is still a head coach. There’s always a place for an oft-injured, average to mediocre player on the Bengals.

Why wouldn’t a police officer in Indianapolis should know about the legend they call Naanee, the twin brother of Nanu and son of Mork from Ork? Shazbot! What’s going on there anyway? Football players have been getting wrecked in that city ever since Mike Vanderjagt became the “idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth”. Now it’s contagious. Imagine what’s going to happen when the Super Bowl comes to town next season. Somebody take the keys away from Leonard Little and Donte Stallworth!

It was only late last year when Naanee was accused of putting someone in the hospital with “internal head injuries and a broken nose”. He was later cleared of any involvement.

…Naanee, 27, was asked if it was a relief that police concluded he was not involved in the fight. Naanee said, “Not for me. I mean, I never really was a suspect in the first place, but I’m grateful that the police came out and said that.”

When he was asked about the lessons learned from the incident, he said, “You’ve just got to remind yourself that you can go out as much as you want but you’ve got to remind yourself about the things that can happen, and that’s really all I can say about it.”

Chargers head coach Norv Turner said he spoke to Naanee about late-night partying, which he said isn’t a good idea when there is an important practice the next day.

Well there we are. Everyone knows no one listens to Norv Turner. He should have told Naanee to party his ass off. He would have stayed dry or continually dropped his drinks before accomplishing his mission. It would have been just like the Chargers in the playoffs. One big fail after another. The Super Bowl was only a week ago. It’s way too soon for anything Chargers related to succeed.

I can’t believe I dropped references from Mork and Mindy in this post. I’m not far away from dropping some Small Wonder and Vic Tayback on your ass.

** The show isn’t as good as it was when it consisted of Kornheiser, Andy Polin and Nigel but what are you going to do? Listen to Mike Wise? Try to tolerate Colin Cowherd? Focus on work?

Rugby in Australia has everything from bestiality to quokka chucking. Let’s not forget punching people at Korn concerts and pissing people like R Kelly on a 15 year old girl. Add rampaging through Hong Kong like Godzilla drunk on Four Loko to the list of favorite Rugby League pastimes.

Several players from the Western Bulldogs are having their arses handed to them in a sack after being filmed on a drunken rampage in Hong Kong last November. As the late, great George Michael would say, let’s go to the tape.

Let’s see Turbo and Ozone bust the worm over a taxi. The flashing pink bunny ears are a sweet touch.

Past Bulldogs players called the incident a case of boys being boys but the team isn’t having it. It’s “[working] with the individuals who are probably most prominent in it”. Whatever that means.

Notice the lack of dogs in the area. They learned their lesson from Joel Monaghan. He’s just one guy. Imagine a whole crowd of drunken Australian rugby players….

The video above doesn’t do the scene any justice. Here’s the full length video. Break out a case of XXXX and enjoy!

I just realized the Black Eyed Peas are playing in the background. So that’s what caused the players to lash out. No one can stand being forced to listen to the Black Eyed Peas. Anyone who says they can needs to be renditioned to Egypt so our new boy Suleiman can sort them out. I would have given anything to be Helen Keller during the Super Bowl halftime show. She didn’t know how good she had it. The only mistake these guys made was not getting into the cabs and leaving the scene before they were driven to madness. “Riot in the middle of the street“.

Give it up for lacrosse. The positive PR just keeps coming. Maybe they should hire @BPGlobalPR to handle press inquiries. We’re probably being too harsh. Underage drinking is nothing compared to rape and murder. Actually it’s not interesting unless you add “obstructing and hindering in an arrest, failure to obey orders, and resisting and interfering in an arrest”.

Taylor Virden and Molly Fernandez of Baltimore were arrested and charged with the offenses listed above after police busted a party at a friend’s house. Virden was a girls lacrosse player at McDonogh School this past season. Fernandez is a former McDonogh star who currently attends Penn State. You say this kind of thing happens every day. The devil is in the details.

Police said they found Virden, 18, and Fernandez, 19, hiding under a bed in a house in Columbia where the party was held. Police said they had to take apart the frame of the bed after Virden and Fernandez ignored orders to come out and remained under the bed after police shot pepper spray into an opening.

It gets better.

According to charging documents, police were called to a residence in the 8500 block of Woodstaff Way at around 11:30p.m., after receiving complaints from neighbors for excessive noise.

When police arrived, two people who were in the driveway of the house ran back into the house where the party was being held, yelling, “The cops are here.” A police spokeswoman said that a half-empty tequila bottle was thrown through an open second-floor window, narrowly missing an officer’s head.

One of the officers went to the back of the house, where he saw a number of people either running from the area or into the residence. Police said that the back deck was littered with open cans of beer and alcohol and one of the officers could see people in the house going into closets to hide or running into rooms and closing doors.

“Those coppers will never find me in a closet.” I am offended as an alum of this fine educational institution. I don’t know what’s happened since I graduated but we would have known better than to hide under a bed or in a closet. Some may not have known not to drink out of the piss beer can and others may have been tossed from Ceramics for making clay dicks but we wouldn’t have gone out like that. We would have pretended to be statues or hostages who were forced to drink against our will.

Guess where Virden is going to college next year? If you guessed Duke, you’re going to the showcase showdown. This rap sheet is going to give her mad street cred by the time she gets down there. They may make her an honorary men’s lacrosse team member.

There should be a regulation that allows police officers to taser drunk college football players at any time. A taser would have done wonders when I bounced in Madison back in the day. 3/4 of the bar would have been twitching on the ground. I would have been firing off that taser indiscriminately like bukkake in a Japanese porno. Football players and entitled kids from Long Island rocking the black puffy North Face jackets and daddy’s credit card. Anyone who went to Wisconsin in the late 90s and early/mid 00s will know the bar.

Iowa running back Jewel Hampton and cornerback Jordan I. Morris-Bernstine were arrested for public intoxication and “cited for presence in a licensed liquor establishment after hours”.

Hampton was involved in several fights over the course of the evening in the same bar. Morris-Bernstine could have walked away but he kept interfering with the officers as they dealt with Hampton. This was after being told to move away. He didn’t listen so he was taken into custody as well.

Head coach Kirk Ferentz says the incident will be handled internally. Bobby Bowden would say that’s just “boys being boys” and call it a day. If Ferentz wants to put Iowa over the top, he needs to start handling these situations like Bowden and blame the victims.