This car is awesome. Driving it is creator/artist William Burge at the Essen Motor Show 2007 in Essen, Germany. His "phantom" car started off as a 1968 Volkswagen Beetle, but he changed it up a little bit and created this monster out of it. I'm so inspired by this car that for more Deuce blog filler, I might have to have a badass car of the week. We'll see if i can stick to that, we've seen what has happened to the random videos/photos of horrific violence.
First off, let us say fuck the NFL for making it harder to watch football and trying to blame it on the cable companies. In spite of the bullshit they're trying to pull against FCC chairman Kevin Martin, we actually sympathize with them when it comes to their fight with the NFL Network. Sympathizing with cable companies and Kevin Martin. What's next? Feeling bad about Ian Smith's passing?
We were forced to go to a drinking establishment to watch the Packers-Cowboys game at BW3's last night. Yes, there's a BW3 in New York. It got to the point where we were sitting at our table wearing a Packers construction hat and cheesehead trying to force feed ourselves more wings even though we couldn't breathe. Fuck yeah.
Most people were focused on the football game when someone yelled, "Oh shit, check this shit out!" We turned around and looked at a small tv which had the Knicks-Celtics game on. The Knicks had 39 points towards the end of the 3rd quarter. After a moment of silence, our entire section fell over laughing and for a brief moment, Packers and Cowboys fans bonded.
The Knicks ended up losing 104-59 in the 3rd worst loss in franchise history. There's really not much to say except that I'm beginning to love the Knicks. They have to keep this current setup together.
We'll leave you with the words of Kevin Garnett talking about future Hall of Famer Starbury.
"Steph's different from how he was in Minnesota," Garnett said. "You just don't come out and quit. You got to have a reason or someone has to make you quit."
There's been quite a bit of back and forth about the killing of Sean Taylor this past week. The Deuce has certainly had a lot to say about as have blowhards like Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro. In our haste to find some sort of logic or explanation behind Taylor's death, we seem to have forgotten where the focus should lie. Thankfully, we have Ray Lewis for that.
"I understand the magnitude of this game with the Patriots and everything coming in, but the bottom line is, I was more than a friend to Sean Taylor. I was someone he definitely looked up to, and bottom line, it's unfortunate that situations happen like this. When they do happen like this, some things pull you away from everything else that everybody else wants you to worry about. This right here is life. It doesn't change. Life is, once it's gone, it's gone.I have an idea what you can stop being selfish about. Who's this supposed to be about now? Oh yeah, what's his face. I know who I want around when I suffer a personal loss.
"For me, as a man, there's a lot that, as a man, I'm going through right now. That I have to ask God for my strength and my faith, to keep pushing on through life, and keep encouraging young men to do the right things here and there. To think about anything else, really, outside of trying to find a way to really deal with my personal feelings, I think it would be very selfish of me to even try to comment on anything without trying to create something that I probably would be making up.
"As a man, I would just ask for you guys, sympathy just to understand that right now is a very challenging time. Not just for me, for the University of Miami family, everybody. You don't lose a 24-year old kid with that much promise in life like this, it makes you take a step back. For me, it made me take a huge, huge step back. To ask God, what is it that you want me to do, what is it that you want me to stop being selfish about, and things like that.
"If anything, the game is going to take care of itself. I'm just going to get through this weekend, hopefully help a lot of my teammates get through this week as well as a lot of the Hurricane family. We're just going to go from there. "
Ray Ray's usually my boy but a little thought for Taylor's family might be more appropriate at a time like this. I'm sure he has plenty of other people that look up to him like Ed Reed, OJ Simpson... Damn, I said I wouldn't go there.
I have read what the Washington Post's Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro have had to say about the tragic murder of Sean Taylor and I have to say, they are the lowest human beings known to mankind for their callous words about his death.
Michael Wilbon has already gone on record as twisting facts about Sean Taylor by saying:
I know how I feel about Taylor, and this latest news isn’t surprising in the least, not to me. Whether this incident is or isn’t random, Taylor grew up in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it, loved to run in it and refused to divorce himself from it. He ain’t the first and won’t be the last. We have no idea what happened, or if what we know now will be revised later. It’s sad, yes, but hardly surprising.
But Len Shapiro for the Washington Post took the cake by comparing Sean Taylor to Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson:
At the moment, it is far too soon to draw any conclusions as to how or why this tragedy occurred, why another young black man is now dead from a gunshot wound in his own home, why another athlete, Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, and now Sean Taylor becomes headline news for all the wrong reasons... Still, could anyone honestly say they never saw this coming? You'd have to be blind not to consider Taylor's checkered past.
I need to know how because he missed league meetings and conversations with his head coach is that a checkered past? I want to know how because Sean Taylor never was convicted of any crime, is Sean Taylor suddenly running with gangs and embracing a thug life? He once plead down to a no contest plea, that is not convicted or considered guilty, for supposedly chasing down people who stole his ATV with a gun. In other words, getting his property back. There is no mention of the prosecutor who was using this case as advertising for his evening DJ'ing gig. There is no mention that the ONLY other time that Sean Taylor had a run in with the law was a DUI which the judge himself threw out of court due to no basis for him being arrested. I need to know why if Sean Taylor hasn't divorced himself from his past, has every one he knew, to a man, said that in the past 2 years, he has become a different and even better man than he was before.
Len Shapiro and Michael Wilbon do not know Sean Taylor any more than us fans here in Washington do. The reason for this is, he never talked to them, us, or any of the media, and the media as a whole does not like anyone who doesn't talk to them. It has happened time and time again that if someone spurns the media, they turn on him and make that person into a bad guy, a rebel, because they do not fall in line and do what the others do.
Being a young black male, missing meetings and being charged but never being convicted of any crime is enough for the old school press to label him a gang banger or at the very least, running with the wrong crowd. Michael Wilbon does not know what crowd Sean Taylor ran with, he never spoke to him. His own coach said that he enjoyed Sean Taylor's friends just yesterday in a public address, if nearly 70 year old Joe Gibbs likes his friends, then what kind of crowd must Sean Taylor run with? People say his past caught up with him and they are not surprised, but that is a faulty assumption based off of what they think his personal life entailed. The truth is, they have no idea.
The truth is, no one knows except himself, his family, close friends and a select few teammates that hung with him...and no one, not Michael Wilbon, not Len Shapiro, NO ONE, has ANY right to say anything disparaging about Sean Taylor personal life because anyone who does say anything bad has no idea what Sean Taylor was doing aside from football.
To label him a gangbanger, a thug, a guy who ran in the wrong circles, a guy who "ran in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it" is a fallacy based off of what you assume he did because he was a young black man who did not always follow the establishment's rules. Anyone who labels him any of this must be as threatened by him as wide-receivers who would not cross the middle of the field while he was around.
To the fans, he signed every autograph, he talked and smiled to them. To his friends, he was a happy, friendly guy they wanted to hang around. To his teammates he was a leader and a player who's work ethic was to be admired. To his family, he was a loving father, son, brother, and partner. Not a single person has had anything bad to say about him besides the media, as indicative of Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro of the Post. What does that say more for the media and the establishment/corporate America than Sean Taylor?
It is a sad indictment indeed. I once was a great fan of the writings of both those Washington Post scribes, but I fear both have lost a great level of respect with me for their words against a great Washington Redskin that was portrayed by the media as a bad guy, but was really a quiet misunderstood man who never cared enough about the media to change their view of him. Their view of him didn't matter, the fans knew, and he was just a man who just wanted to play football the right way and raise his child as best he could.
His former teammate and friend Ryan Clark said it best in the Redskins Insider yesterday:
"Every time they show something about [t]his they show his legalities and things like that, but that's not who he was," Clark said. "it paints a picture like he lived a certain way, so he deserved to go a certain way. But he was a good man and good talent who had become a great man, and I'm said all the people want to focus on is the negative. He was a 24-year-old kid, a brother and a father who passed away.
Shame on you Michael Wilbon, Len Shapiro and anyone else in the media that is using this tragic event to help your career and to get on television more while misconstruing facts to further stereotypes, assumptions and generalizations about a man you knew nothing about. Shame on you all for murdering Sean Taylor again in the media. I am not a praying man, but I pray for your souls.
The Portland Winterhawks, a Western Hockey League team, have made history on the ice in a new fashion. The have set a record for most stuffed animals thrown on the ice. The fans at the arena threw a reported 20,372 stuffed animals onto the rink after what they thought was their first goal of the season. Sadly, the goal was disallowed. The great news is those 20,372 stuffed toys are all being donated to charity for the team's 10th Annual Teddy Bear toss. Just a nice feel good story for you all. Here's the video of the bears getting thrown. Enjoy
In a new chapter in the life of Bobby Knight, it appears as if he is still a real bad shot when hunting, that or just a man who should never ever carry a loaded gun...or both. Two Texas residents are complaining that Knight hit them with bird shot in different incidents last month.
Mary Ann Chumley said she was struck on the foot by a stray pellet on Oct. 20 in an incident she characterized as an accident. She said Knight apologized for hunting too close to her barn and she forgave him.
Another resident near the dove field said the coach and another hunter returned the next day and one of them intentionally fired a shotgun in his direction.
James Simpson told Lubbock police he was struck on the neck and back by pellets after yelling at Knight and another man he believed were hunting too close to his house. Simpson's backyard is about 100 yards from where Chumley was struck the previous day.
Bobby Knight's reaction to these accusations was, at the very least, predictable
"That's all been taken care of, that's over with," Knight said. "You haven't heard anything from that guy for two weeks. That's done. I got no comment on that whatsoever because that's absolute [expletive.]"
Bobby Knight not listening to people? Bobby Knight getting upset when people tell him what to do? Bobby Knight getting mad at people for yelling at him? This is all brand new information! What isn't brand new information is that Knight is not a good hunter, in 1999 he actually shot a friend of his in the shoulder and back with 16 pellets of a 20 gauge shotgun. How is this man still allowed to carry a gun? He's shot at more people than OJ!
Quidditch is a game inspired by the Harry Potter books, which the Deuce has not read nor seen the films based off of, but is now being played by a few liberal arts schools (ie: stoners) here in the states. The Deuce is not even going to attempt describe this athletic event, Science Blog does a very good description of it in it's blog, but watch here as a Vassar college student attempts to explain this game in preparation for its "World Cup" against Middlebury college. Dear God, what have we become as a society...
Sad that some people in the world are now making money off of the death of a young man, but this is still American last time I checked and on Ebay right now, if you do a search for Sean Taylor you will find all sorts of items now going for prices never before seen for his merchandise.
Some of the worst actually use the attack in their descriptions such as this autographed color photo signed by Sean Taylor starting at $138.50. Also is this action figure going up for sale for $150.00, but hey at least he says in the description he's not trying to capitalize on the death, that must make it better when he discusses it in his description for sale. This trading card sale which describes his attack going for $28.50. This autographed photo going for $26.00 that actually uses a RIP 1983-2007 photo in its sale.
There are plenty of others for sure, it is pretty amazing what people will do to make a buck.
Tragic event for this young man, his family, the Redskins organization and the fans of the team. A needless loss of a special human being. Washington Post has a write up here. It is a sad day to be a Redskin & Redskins fan.
Update: Our commentary on the media's depiction of Sean Taylor is here
England may blow donkey dick when it comes to soccer but when it comes to debauchery, there's no team better equipped for success. The guys who brought you roasting now give you a night at the club sponsored by Chelsea winger Shaun Wright-Phillips.
The News of the World reports that England players threw down at Wright-Phillips' birthday party which fell between crucial Euro 2008 qualifiers and all hell broke loose. The paper reported the following:
An unnamed top player on the national team got a blowjob then full on sex in the club basement while people walked on by.[England and Chelsea captain John] Terry being so drunk he URINATED on the floor and in a cup. Another player begging two lapdancers for a THREESOME. Some guests getting so drunk that they VOMITED on the floor. An ugly SCUFFLE between Wright-Phillips and a female guest who dared to take his picture. Terry, missing from action through a knee injury, BOUNCING up and down on his bad leg with dancers.
"He was in a corridor where staff have their lockers behind the VIP area and you have to get to it by going through two doors. Obviously he had sneaked off hoping no one had seen him. He was p****d and didn't give a monkey's about anything. The girl gave him oral for ages and when I came back she was sitting in his lap having full sex."Meanwhile, Terry, who had been out injured, was dancing around a stripper pole and letting the ladies know that his penis is a mountain. (Link to video)
"They were grunting and bonking right in front of me. It's incredible that this should be going on so close to England becoming the laughing stock of Europe by not qualifying."
"Word got around they were there and several people came to have a look. One of the managers tried to get the player to stop but he was too gone."
"The manager was so stunned all he could come up with was, ‘What are you doing to my chair?'"
"He went up to dance on stage with two lapdancers. He was wriggling his hips and trying to dance all sexy with the girls."You'd think JT would have stopped there but he's the captain and as a friend of mine says, "Go big or go home!". He proceeded to piss all over the floor while trying to hit a plastic cup. Two other girls threw up on the floor after drinking too much Grey Goose and Moet.
"The pole-dancing area is up a couple of steps so everyone saw what was going on. He's really going for it and you can see the girls, who were wearing tiny tops and hotpants, were loving it. He even appears to be pretending to rub his groin as he turns to face them at one point."
"Certainly his movement is amazing. I'm surprised he was out so long with a knee injury because his dancing was pretty fast and furious."
Lesson #1: If you're going to get in a fight, make sure it's not with an Australian.
Lesson #2: If you're going to fight an Australian, don't fight an Australian sailor.
One American learned these rules the hard way after getting his arse handed to him in a sack by two Australian sailors at a house party.
You're probably wondering why the freedom haters beat down the American. Actually you probably assume they did it because they're Australian and you've seen the Road Warrior enough times to know how they act. You're halfway there. They were "arguing about the virtues of American versus Australian football".
The argument escalated and the American threatened to kill the Australians. Bad move, mate. The Australians beat the shit out of the American and broke his eye socket. They were booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. That would be their feet.
Australia should be forced to hand over a sacrifice for our sailors to beat like a red-headed stepchild. I suggest John Howard or Savage Garden.
After today's news about Sean Taylor, we figured you could use some old hotness. Check this video of James Brown, Michael Jackson and Prince on the same stage.
That Prince looks like a predator. He should be more like that nice Michael Jackson boy.
According to police, Miami-Dade patrol officers received a call about 1:45 a.m. Monday that a homeowner had been shot in the leg. The homeowners told police he heard intruders at the rear door of the house, trying to pry it open.
The male homeowner went to investigate and a female in the house then heard a shot. Paramedics responded and found the victim, with a gunshot wound to the groin. He was airlifted to the Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital, police said. The shooting happened at 18050 Old Cutler Rd.
County property records list it as the address for Sean Taylor. It is a four-bath, four-bedroom house with a taxable value of $704,297.
Sportstalk 980 is reporting that a statement from the Redskins says that Sean Taylor is undergoing treatment at a hospital for a gunshot wound.
As a Redskins fan, i'll give you the word that were heard all across DC after this news came out... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
UPDATE: Sources at Sportstalk 980 say that Sean Taylor is in critical condition with a severed artery. Horrible news if all true.
UPDATE: Miami Herald now reporting he was shot in groin and/or leg and was airlifted from his residence to the hospital.
UPDATE: WSVN TV in Miami is reporting that Sean Taylor "was shot in the leg but the bullet struck the femoral artery and he has lost a lot of blood."
UPDATE: Local 10 in Miami is reporting that a family friend who wishes to not be identified told them that Sean Taylor had been shot twice.
UPDATE: 1:42pm - Sportstalk 980 is now reporting that Sean Taylor is in a coma at the hospital. It is not known whether it is an induced coma or if he fell into one on his own.
UPDATE: 3:15pm - The Miami Herald is all over the story with an excellent description of the events prior to the shooting. "The noises Sean Taylor and his girlfriend heard in their house early Monday turned out to be their worst nightmare.
At least one armed intruder had broken into the $900,000 Palmetto Bay house of the star NFL player and were at his bedroom door. Taylor rose from bed to investigate, and just outside his bedroom, was shot in the groin and critically wounded. He collapsed back into the room, where he breathed heavily as blood gushed from his wound, according to Taylor's lawyer and family friend, Richard Sharpstein."
Also, about his injuries, "Sharpstein said Taylor, 24, emerged from surgery about 12:30 p.m. but had lost a lot of blood and remained unconscious, possibly jeopardizing his brain. He is in intensive care and doctors have allowed his family to see him."
UPDATE: 4:15pm - ESPN.com has video of players reactions.
UPDATE: 7:03pm - Washington Post's Jason La Canforia is reporting:
"Les Carpenter, who is working the story for us in Miami, heard rumblings that Sean may have opened his eyes.
I have not been able to get that confirmed but just heard from a team offical that Sean is now responsive, which is obviously a turn for the best. I will continue working away to get more details, but this is obviously a turn for the better after Sean spent much of the day in a 'non-responsive and unconscious' state.
As the person put it: 'Finally, the first good news all day.' Let's hopes it's the first of more to come."
UPDATE: 7:11pm Jason La Canforia for the Washington Post has confirmation from Vinnie Cerrato that Sean Taylor has regained conciousness:
Vinny Cerrato just called us with confirmation.
"He was responsive to the doctor's requests to squeeze his hands and showed facial expressions. The doctors were very happy about that," Cerrato said " ... Two doctors came and told us they were excited about that."
Cerrato also confirmed my earlier reports about Sean being "non-responsive and unconscious." Cerrato said: "We'd heard all that and what they told us was to hope foir a miracle."
UPDATE: 9:18 Jason La Canforia provides more details from Redskins Insider. Apparently Sean Taylor flatlined twice during his 7 hour surgery and as of now, according to his attorney, has not opened his eyes, but has responded to doctor's stimuli. He is still in critical condition. This is one of the scariest and sadest moments in Redskins history. The Deuce's thoughts are with him and his family.
Lenny Kravitz performed at the 95th annual Grey Cup in Toronto on Sunday and ignited many a loin by providing this ass crack for all the world to see. That guy on the right of the crack there looks like he wishes he could dive right into that ass, while some chick is awful close to reaching the crevasse. Oh, and the Saskatchewan Rough Riders beat the Winnipeg Bombers, 23-19 if anyone cared.
From BlogTo
His Airness had a good crossover as a player, now Michael Jordan is crossing over his restaurant enterprise into a new venture. Jordan started up a Mexican restaurant around a month ago named SolToro. We all know about Michael's steakhouse in NYC, as well as his ill fated Jordan's in DC and Restaurant in Chi-town, but now MJ has ventured into uncharted territories with some classy Mexican food in the ever popular Mohegan Sun casino to go along with his sportsbar and steakhouse in the same building...and we have the video of the opening. Check it out.
What better to open the restaurant with some classy A list celebrities like Ahmad Rashad! How "classy" is Jordan here showing up in jeans with a cranberry red sport coat, the man is worth like a half a million dollars, he couldn't do better than that? I also love that a casino that has 3 Jordan restaurants is the Mohegan Sun and not any Vegas casino or even an Atlantic City one, but an Indian casino in Connecticut that is really known best (and possibly only) for their large poker room. When asked why he put another restaurant here his answer was "Why not?", well i guess that is as good a reason as any.
If you missed this past weekend's NFL action, here's all you need to know to look really impressive this Monday at the office water cooler.
Nike is one innovative shoe company. They take inspiration for their shoes from thousands of different sources so it was inevitable that they would make a shoe based off of...a milk carton. Yea, the Nike Fly Milk Premium SB is here, based off of a milk carton and designed for a guy named Jeff who worked at a Milk Carton factory in China. The sneaker was dedicated to him quitting that job and starting the Fly Skateshop. They even feature him as a "missing person" on the back of the shoe. Crazy, but kinda pretty bad ass. They run for $160 and good luck finding yourself a pair, but if you do, send the Deuce a picture of the kicks in action. Couple more pics below...
I am not sure if anyone noticed this from the Washington Post yesterday, but apparently, Jason Campbell, quarterback for the Washington Redskins, is a crier! That's right, the quarterback of the future for the Redskins actually cried after his team's loss to the Cowboys on Sunday.
Campbell cried after Sunday's loss, angry with himself for a late-game interception on what overall was his best performance in the NFL. "It's tough, we keep losing all these close games and we're playing so hard as a team," he said. "You're fighting your hearts out and it seems like things don't go our way towards the end of games"
What the hell is that? Who the hell is Campbell, Dick Vermil? Norv Turner? Now, I am as big a fan as anyone of Jason Campbell, I think he's the quarterback that DC has been waiting decades for, but come on son, THERE IS NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL! You lost the game, you made some bad passes, your defense collapsed against a superior opponent in the 4th quarter, your coach made dubious calls...BUT DONT YOU DARE CRY ABOUT A LOSS??
Some people will say "At least he cares that much to actually cry," but I say bullshit, you don't inspire your fellow football players by crying, you make them pity you. I didn't see Romo crying after he botched a snap and hold on a field goal in the playoffs? I am rooting for you Jason, but grow a pair, if you want to take the next leap to greatness in the NFL, the first step is to stop your crying and just make some plays in the 4th quarter.
Maybe Jason just watched too much Rosie Grier in his youth:
Needless to say, she did not stick the landing. It's pretty bad to watch, her screams of agony are worse though. Sheesh...
Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young gets injured a lot and those injuries require a lot of pain management to get through a game. Likewise, Candice Young Johnson, Vince Young's fiancée, has found her own way to deal with whatever pain she's dealing with...she goes out partying at "get high" lounges while her man plays the game and pays the bills. Here's what a tipster at Mediatakeout.com said about his encounter with Ms. Young.
This past weekend in Denver, Vince Young's [fianc�e] and her entourage were spotted at a 'get high lounge.' They were in the VIP area and she was acting funny saying that all the "little people" should get out of her section.
She sounds like she is pure class to us, Vince. Way to be playa.
Check out a picture of her taken while smoking...something.
Shamelessly ripped from Mediatakeout.com
Here's some footage from Baltimore's NBC 11 where their sportscaster was interviewing Matt Stover after what they thought was the end of the game, but luckily Cleveland QB Derek Anderson was there to tell them "WE GOT OVERTIME FELLAS!". Not funny really, but still goes to show the utter confusion that was taking place at the end of regulation for that game. What a clusterfuck...
Just so's ya know, our boy WCK at 100% Injury Rate was all over this as well.
Now run 'em! Gimme the loot! What can we say about another Liverpool player's house getting robbed? Tommy's come a long way since Trainspotting. He's gotten off the bad stuff and managed to become the hardest working player for Liverpool. Maybe his hard work will pay off on the field and he'll actually score.
His hard work has paid dividends off the field. Too bad it's paying off for someone else. Kuyt became the latest Liverpool player to be robbed while away doing his job. Thieves (we're assuming Liverpool fans) robbed his home while he was away on international duty last Thursday. It's unclear what was taken at the time besides his dignity and sense of well-being.
Fellow support group members/victims include Peter Crouch, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina and Jerzy Dudek. It appears the more you suck, the safer you are at Liverpool. The lesson is never try. Just ask former Liverpool players Gabriel Paletta and Djibril Cisse.
Michael Jordan has way too much money. He's the colonel of the muthafuckin' tank. I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought Master P’s platinum tank from the Make ‘Em Say Uhh video. I'm sure Percy needs the money for his brother's bail or the And 1 tour bus that's stuck outside of Biloxi.
Speaking of Cash Money (M period Fresh comma, your wife is my baby mama) and No Limit, why hasn’t anyone suggested a merger? I’m sure the FTC, FCC, FICA or Freddie Foxx wouldn’t have a problem with these corporations combining forces like the Constructicons, Construda or whatever. There would be so much flossin’, there wouldn’t be a single cavity in Louisiana. I digress.
You know who else is impressed by MJ's holdings besides his wife? Charles Barkley.
"You have to look at it two ways," Barkley, now an analyst for TNT, said. " 'Wow, that's a lot of money. Wow, that's a lot of money.' Then the second way, 'Damn, Michael's got a lot of money.' … Personally I would have to have somebody else write the check. You've got to be so [ticked] to write that check."
Chimp Rage brought you the $168 million story last Monday. It doesn't matter how you look at it. That's a shitload of money. Sir Charles is probably thinking about all the bets he could throw down with that stash. Think how great it would be to roll with him and all that money. You could think of any bet and actually make it happen.
"I wonder if Kelly Osborne could eat a snow leopard before it eats her?"
"Sheeeit, only one way to find out! To the A380!"
There's no question Sir Charles would end up going out like Steve Fossett. It would probably be on a quest in Australia to find out how many Tasmanian Devils it would take to bring down Oliver Miller.
A 1918 World Series ball with 15 signatures on it, including Babe Ruth's, has gone up for auction on Ebay with a starting bid of $870,000. I wonder if Bill Simmons is liquidating all of his assets as we speak to win this auction? Word on the street is that Mark Ecko is interested and will destroy it once he gets his grubby hands on it. This will be an interesting auction to watch and see if anyone actually bids on it.
Link to Ebay Auction
The Super Bowl Shuffle is VMA worthy compared to this 85 Bears disaster. This is like the Miami game of that season. Damn it's strange to think of Miami beating a good team let along winning a game.
Ray Kroc was one prescient burger flipper. This commercial is clearly a warning. If given the choice between letting Iran have nukes and allowing Payton Manning to sing or dance in a commercial, I'm not sure which one I'd choose.
Thanks to Idiotarod team member Moneyshot for the find.
Kenneth Hutcherson, former linebacker for the Cowboys and Chargers and current megachurch pastor of the Antioch Bible Church, wants his followers to buy Microsoft stock and vote down their homosexual friendly practices and policies. Hutcherson actually is vowing to take over Microsoft with new shareholders to vote against the company's policy of advancing gay rights. From the Telegraph UK:
"There are 256 Fortune 500 companies alone pouring millions upon millions of dollars into pushing the homosexual agenda,"
Hutcherson recently freaked out a bunch of rich people at a Microsoft shareholder's meeting (video to follow) stating that he is "one of the worst nightmares that this corporation can have. [He is] a black man, with a righteous cause, with a great deal and a whole host of powerful white people behind [himself]."
This right here, is one crazy motherfucker. You know he's crazy when he thinks that powerful white people really wanna help him. (ZING!) Anyway, methinks Kenny is trying too hard here. Perhaps he is trying to cover up something of his past? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time some super religious, megachurch leader who was seriously against homosexuality didn't get called out as being a little on the festive side themselves?
The Deuce doesn't want to get too political, but really, what is the big deal and how on earth does he think he can amass the necessary stock holdings to actually be able to influence any of Microsoft's policies? Its really quite far fetched. And what's next after this? Next thing you know we'll have bible-thumpers parading about being angry about a website that is based on one giant shit joke...oh wait, that is bound to happen now.
Hilarious video from the Burly Sports peoples. This guy got onto the field during the Giants/Dolphins game in London and just let it all fly, nearly buck naked. A bit NSFW but there's no real nudity, just pure hilarity.
Yeah I know it’s the wrong movie but Jackie Gleason’s fat and dead so I think I’m in the clear unless Jackie Mason wants to make Caddyshack III. Zing!
We got ourselves another Cannonball Run. The lead isn’t Burt Reynolds but a guy of German descent named Alex Roy who just completed a cross-country drive across 13 states in 31 hours and 4 minutes. It's kind of like Roadhouse 2. It just isn't the same without Jack Dalton.
Roy Boy started in New York and finished in Santa Monica. He covered a distance of 2794 miles and averaged 95 miles an hour. At times he reached 160 mph. He beat the record by over an hour.
His blue BMW was named “Team Polizei” which we just find endearing. We assume his clothing was designed by Hugo Boss. A better car would have been a brown BMW with a sidecar.
Take it back to the old school, playboy.
Maurice Jones Drew flat out leveled Shawne Merriman during Jacksonville's romp over the Chargers on Sunday and if you missed it, check it out. This guy is like 5'10 and just destroys the "formerly" 'roided up Merriman. That kid's got heart. Watch it quick before the NFL takes it down.
What the hell can you say? As a youth soccer coach from Tenneessee said today, Steve McClaren better be going to temple tonight. England have no business still being in contention for a place in Euro 2008 but somehow they're still in the hunt. Israel pulled off an upset and defeated Russia 2-1 with an injury time goal by Omer Golan. The result eliminated Russia and only requires England to get one point from their match with Croatia on Wednesday to advance to next year's finals. Hebrew Nationals and He'brews all around.
England still live in spite of McClown's best effort to sabotage any chance England had of winning this Wednesday. England played a friendly against Austria on Friday and Michael Owen started even though the squad's striker situation was precarious. Like the lame horse he is, Owen went down and is out for Wednesday's crucial match. His absence leaves the one and only Crouchigol as the lone option.
If England wins, the papers will start screaming about an England win next summer and glory for the queen. McClown will get a knighthood even before the tournament along with a contract extension until 2491.
In other Euro 2008 news, Italy slid through to the finals on a dodgy call as they beat a resilient Scotland 2-1. I was pulling for a Scotland win to go along with a Russian win. It would have been great to see the Scots win and England go out. The Scots would never let them live it down. However, a few English friends pointed out that an England win on Wednesday means less hooligans in London next summer so it's a must-win.
Here are your other results.
Finland 2 - Azerbaijan 1
Spain 3 - Sweden 0
Northern Ireland/Fulham 1 - Denmark 0 (That's gotta hurt, Vilhelm)
Poland 2 - Belgium 1
Portugal 1 - Armenia 0 (Allegations of a massacre are highly exaggerated)
Greece 5 - Malta 0
Turkey 2 - Norway 0
Lithuania 2 - Ukraine 0
Wales 2 - Ireland 2
Germany 4 - Cyprus 0
Moldova 3 - Hungary 0
Czech Republic 3 - Slovakia 1
Macedonia 2 - Croatia 0
Latvia 4 - Liechtenstein 0
Bulgaria 1 - Romania 0
Albania 2 - Belarus 4 (Albania did win most number of stolen watches)
Netherlands 1 - Luxembourg 0
Don't you mess with my baby! Ain't nobody fuckin' with him except me! My baby ain't never hurt nobody! WHY??!! Oh Lawd, where's Rev. Al??
You have to love those local tv news interviews with the mothers of people who have clearly done something wrong. Yeah 45 witnesses may have seen Ray Ray shoot up the club but that don't mean he did nuthin'. He's a good boy who never got in trouble besides the 268 times he's been pulled in for questioning and the time he beat down that old woman for her baloney samich and her social security. Add Derek Jeter's mom to the Not My Baby group on Facebook.
Dorothy Jeter went off on a Daily News reporter who came to her house asking for comment on the tax cheat allegations against her son.
"He pays his taxes," Dorothy Jeter told the Daily News.Ok maybe she didn't say that last part but I'm sure she would have if she knew about it.
"My boy does everything right - everything right," she said at her New Jersey home. "He's paid taxes in New York for every doggone day he's been there."
"Do you have children?" she cried. "You know how hard it is to watch on the news that your son is a tax cheat?
"It kills me," she added. "You're going to give me a heart attack."
"This is worse then when I heard he gave that girl who can't act herpes."
The badger slashing before the game should have been a warning to the rest of the Badgers. The North Dakota Fighting Sioux took on the Wisconsin Badgers hockey team in a all out brawl which resulted in ejections and an apology letter.
Now Wisconsin knows how Indian casino gamblers feel. Payback's a muthafucka, ain't it?
I always knew there was something off about the Australians besides their criminal nature. Now I know what it is. They hate freedom as well.
Santas in Sydney have been told to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho" when out and about frequenting prositutes or taking orders from kids.
One disgruntled Santa told the [Daily Telegraph] a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.Even the ho who runs the campaign against sexualizing kids called Kids Free 2B Kids said it was a joke. "Gimme a break, We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they."
The Soulja Boy travels faster than SARS or the herpes on Paris Hilton's crotch. It looks like it just moved ahead of mad cow in England. Guess which one Anton Ferdinand and Nigel Reo-Coker have and win a vaccine!
Wrong. It's mad cow. You'll get nothing and like it.
You know what else beeps when it backs up? The wahmbulance.
We might have to call in another one at the rate English government ministers and players keep crying over the influx of foreign players into the Premiership. Sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe and Liverpool's Steven Gerrard are calling for a quota on the amount of foreign players allowed for a club.
"We may need to have some sort of independent look at what needs to happen. We have got the best league in the world and it's great that we have got the talent that is there in terms of the Premier League.Interesting. Blame foreign players for England's lack of success and shit management. Are there a lack of good English players? Yes. There's no question about that. However it's a bit specious to blame England's mediocrity on the amount of foreign players playing in England.
"But obviously we need to see how that impacts on and affects the national team."
"I believe," he said, "that if foreigners do take over completely it will make things even worse for the national team." Gerrard backs a quota scheme, despite the difficulties of developing a system that complies with European and national laws.
The influx on money from foreign ownership and television contracts has also increased the stakes and need for immediate success which limits the time young players have to develop whether English or foreign.
Curtis Martin, former Jet and Patriots all-pro running back, is planning on purchasing a part of an NFL team next year. Martin retired before the start of this season, ending his 12 year professional career due to a bone on bone knee injury. Right now, its not looking like its the NY Jets he's planning on buying into...so that leaves 31 other teams he could have a shot at part-owning. That's news, but the real news is his reasons for doing this near unprecedented purchase:
"I want to become a new image of what a professional athlete is," Martin said. "I think presently in sports, you have the whole bravado, bling-bling, and it seems that that's the image that most of us look up to, and I don't know who set that image. I want to be a different image. I want to be an image that's positive for you long-term. ... That's one of my true motivations, is to be a different goal to reach versus just having a million homes and a million cars and all the jewelry in the world."
Um...what? Tell me, whats the difference in purchasing a million cars and jewelry and buying into a professional sports team? Is one huge self indulgence better than the other? How is he any different than the other athletes he is putting down while making himself out to be the ultimate role model?
"[It's] a chance to be a businessman, a leader, an innovator and a role model."
Man, Curtis is trying to make himself a saint for buying into a football team! Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with an athlete becoming an owner, I think its a great thing. Its his holier than thou reasons that get to me.
He says he wants to have a different image than the "bling bling" generation of role-models, but why is this any different from a gangsta rapper now getting his own glamour label through a big record company after he's "made it"?
It is good that Curtis wants to present a positive image to the kids, but surely there must be a better way than owning part of a football team. If he really wanted to reach people, he'd take that money and give it all to charity instead of indulging himself in a different way than all the other athletes he speaks of. Yes, I realize Curtis does a TON of charity work already...that isn't the point. The point is, he wants to help people by buying a football team, while pretending it is not a massive indulgence on his part and none of that makes sense.
In truth, if he wanted to help people he could take that football team purchasing money and give to the homeless more, build a shelter, buy a school more books, give more scholarships, start a business he can run that can help people, something, because indulging himself in sports entertainment while pretending he is better than his soon to be employees doesn't help anyone but himself. By owning a team, Curtis doesn't create a new role model for people to look up to, he will be nothing more than the sports world's Jay-Z.
As much fun as sports blogs are, most of us don't do any real reporting. We rely in large part on working journalists (and no, I don't mean Stephen A.) to provide the straight news and content that we can then distill into slanderous half-truths and mockery fuel. (The rest of our content we just rip off wholesale from YouTube.) Everyone has a role in today's digital media; the journos are like the wise farmers carefully tending to their wheat and hops in the field, and we're like the crime syndicate brewery that takes those noble grains, pisses on them, and sells the run-off as Steel Reserve.
The point is that we need journalists. Sure, we kid them, but they're giving us the news that we
need in order to engage in ill-informed sports banter. At the core of sports reporting, of course, is the idea that it is just that: reporting news events to a public that needs to be informed about news. And just like CNN doesn't have to pay the Kucinich campaign to let Candy Crowley eat danishes while taking notes on the Keebler Elf's latest speech about stardust vistors from the fifth dimension, sports journalists have never needed to pay sports teams or leagues for the privilege of reporting on their games.
Hell, even Mariotti gets a press pass allowing him to 
enter Soldiers Field without paying Da Bears or the NFL. And the same goes for the infinitely more talented Sun-Times news photographer who allows us to witness gritty, timeless images of triumph and defeat like that seen on the right. Honestly, could we truly appreciate the magic that is Rex Grossman without having seen him violated by a Packer? No, my friends, we could not. We simply could not understand his greatness without having viewed that picture. And we owe it all to a news photographer.
Unfortunately, the basic journalistic right of news photographers to document sporting events without having to pay off sports league suits may be in peril. The douches at Cricket Australia want to require photogs to pay a licensing fee to the organization in exchange for their press accreditation. In essence, they are requiring journalists to pay for the right to cover news. The response of the major news agencies has -- understandably -- been to boycott coverage of the current Test series between Australia and Sri Lanka. Why in god's name, they ask, should we pay to gather news? After all, it would set a terrible precedent. Yet Cricket Australia is persisting in its attempt to squeeze every dollar, pound, rand, and rupee out of the game, and AFP, Reuters, and the AP are continuing to boycott the Tests.
"Reuters remains adamant on its right to distribute sports news pictures freely," Monique Villa, the managing director of Reuters Media, told Reuters. "I met with Cricket Australia last Sunday in London and nothing has really changed. They want to control our news and who can receive it, which is totally unacceptable."
First Pacman and now Starbury? Carmelo Anthony must be rolling over in his grave or his pick. Late yesterday, Pacman copped a plea deal that will result in him getting probation in exchange for his testimony about Make It Rain night during the Black Super Bowl. Now Starbury has threatened to out Isiah Thomas after going AWOL and skipping last night's game against the Phoenix Suns.
Gout/Heart attack-in-waiting Eddy Curry told Starbury that both were pulled from the starting lineup of last night's game. Starbury went to the front of the plane (enroute to Phoenix) to speak with Isiah. Starbury emerged outraged and told the team that he wasn't suiting up if he wasn't playing. He then said,
"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."He proceeded to land in Phoenix and fly back to New York to impregnate interns like Jason Caffey until his situation is resolved.
"It seems like he and I kinda go through this every November," Thomas said. "And then a couple of weeks go by and we kinda kiss and make up and we get back to the business of trying to win basketball games. Hopefully, in the next couple of days this will be resolved."Then again, I'd be pissed if I had to start behind Mardy Collins. I mean he can't even spell Marty. Starting behind an illiterate and the off-brand Rolando Blackmon is no way to roll when you're Starbury.
If you're not familiar with Vice Magazine's Do's and Don'ts, you're missing out. Here's an example along with Vice's caption.
"You realize people who aren’t into soccer see a black man on your back with two cannons pointing at his head, right?"
This is one hell of a halftime show here. The Cal Bears marching band decided that during their November 3rd game against Washington State to pay tribute to video game history during their halftime show. Let it be written in stone that Cal students are dorks, but man do they put on a spectacle here. Can you name all the video games that they pay tribute to in this epic display of geekdom?
In a story we've been following here for awhile, the MyFootballClub.co.UK people have finally successfully purchased an English Premiership Football team. The site allowed soccer fans to pay £35 each for a share in a team to be purchased in the future. Yesterday it was announced that the group had purchased Ebbsfleet United PC, a Blue Square Premier team that is currently in 9th place and just 1 promotion away from reaching Football League for the first time in team history.
The new owners of the team have a 51% controlling stake and each member of MyFootballClub will vote on whom the team should buy to move the team forward in the future and other ownership matters.
Crazy what can happen when a group of fans get together to make a change in sport. The fans are the ones that really put the money in the player's pockets, it seems only fair that the fans should be able to make a decision as to how the team is run. These people took that idea and ran with it.
If only this could happen here in the States. Imagine if a group of NBA fans got together and pooled enough money to purchase the Seattle Supersonics to keep them in Seattle, or if a group of MLB fans pooled their resources to purchase the Chicago Cubs? How much better or worse could either one of those organizations be run? Certainly, neither could be run as poorly as they are now.
Here's to hoping one day, us fans in the United States wise up and realize that we can do something like this and keep teams out of the hands of the Dan Snyders of the world. Individually we are weak, together, we are strong...or something like that.
From BBC Sport
David Jacobs, a north Texas man, was arrested yesterday for conspiracy to possess anabolic steroids with the intent to distribute. The police seized tens of thousands of steroids from his east Plano home upon his arrest along with firearms. The juicy part of this is this guy is a personal trainer who claims to have "offered guidance" to Dallas Cowboys players and is going to plead out and cooperate with officials telling them everything and everyone he knows.
"I am comfortable in saying, 'Yes. I'm pleading guilty to the manufacturing and distribution of anabolic steroids,' and I've agreed to take that plea agreement," said Jacobs.
How 'bout that huh? Maybe Belichick and the Colts aren't the only cheaters out there in the NFL? Perhaps Romo and his 'boys have had a little chemical assistance to help them to their NFC best 8-1 record? Everyone knows you don't get a smile like this without some sorta drug. The Cowboys have denied this man's involvement in the organization, but as we know from other steroid scandals, players often have their own trainers to hook them up with the good stuff.
The Deuce will be watching for more info about this...if anyone has any tips, let us know.
From CBS11TV
Well, not literally, but the guy who started up the website A Piece of Shea Stadium says that his father, a steel worker, helped build the famed home of the Amazin' Mets and put the initials of his entire family on a steel column in the stadium. Now, with the stadium set to be dismantled, he wants that column to be his.
The initials that were punched on the steel beam are said to be “JPL” (his dad) “CTL” (his mom) and “RNL” (this guy who wants the beam).
The markings are near eye level (I was about 13 years old at the time), on one of the ramps that people use to go to the upper decks and I think that the column that has our initials is near the end of a ramp, as opposed to the middle of a ramp.
The Deuce thinks its pretty neat that this guy's dad put his whole family on a beam in the stadium. Its sort of a modern twist to people carving their names in trees. Still...its vandalism, and it should not be condoned in any way shape or form. Someone should find this beam, find this man, and fine him for turning the great Shea Stadium into a ghetto slum. Have you no honor?!?!?!
Link to A Piece of Shea StadiumThe Old Rich People are back and they come out firing with a scathing review of the state of the respective NFC & AFC Wests, in the form of a NFL commissioner's statement being read at a press conference. Funny stuff as always.
What you see before you is a rather inspired new logo for the new look Deuce by fellow blogger and friend of DoD, Liston of Introducing Liston. I rather enjoy the Kiefer Sutherland riding a unicorn photoshop there. I also got a little chubby when I saw the poo, it's been our first week without poo on the site and strangely enough, I miss it already.
I need to know why the wallet is there though. See, that right there is the artistic part of it all. The part that begs the viewer to question, to think, to come back again and again to see if the answers will appear before them. Its much like the Mona Lisa smile in that sense. Sadly, while it won't be our new logo, it will forever hold a place in our hearts and blog.
We're actually working on a contest to get a new logo, we're just waiting for prizes to be confirmed, stay tuned kids and get your pens and pencils ready. In the meantime, Liston has posted again, and as always, its worth your time to jump in and read his non sequiturs.
You can be the proud owner of the 40 feet tall, 31 ton, fire-breathing, mechanical dinosaur known as Robosaurus! All you have to do is be the winning bidder at the 2008, 37th annual Barrett-Jackson car auction in Scottsdale, Arizona taking place January 12-20th next year.
Robosaurus is operated by a human pilot strapped inside the monster's cranium. The operator also controls the 20-foot flames that erupt from his nostrils and the foot-long stainless steel teeth that rip into and twist metal with 20,000 pounds of crushing force.
While I have never been to a monster truck rally, I do feel like this is something that anyone would love to own...if they had enough space to store it somewhere of course. Imagine rolling up to a club in this beast? How can you not get into the swankiest spot in town with this motherfucker shooting 20 foot flames out of its mouth, picking up and crushing with 20,000 lbs of force all those riced out civics cruising the street near the joint. All the ladies be all up in Chimp's piece fo' sho'. While I would love to see someone like Shaq purchase this and subsequently roll up to the ESPYs or some red carpet with this piece of redneck history, Robosaurus must be mine...
If you need to see this hotness in action, watch below:
UPDATE: 100% beat us to this a friggin MONTH ago...damn you WCK, foiled again!!!
Michael Jordan's divorce is final and the bill is in...MJ is set to pay his ex-wife Juanita Jordan 168 million dollars in what appears to be the most expensive break-up ever. According to the Times UK, the final settlement includes their 7 acre Chicago estate and custody of their 3 children. In ranking the top 5 celebrity divorces, the Times has Jordan as #1, next to Neil Diamond's $150+ million gut-wrencher.
So...when do you think that you'll be seeing ole number 23 checking into a Charlotte Bobcats game? He's gotta make that $168 million back somehow and it's not gonna be done playing poker, blackjack and golf for cash. Selling those 100 dollar shoes will only go so far. I think the best way to get start recouping his losses is to start up a reality TV show called "Be Like Mike" where he and Charles Oakley teach a group of young men how to be an ultra-competitive, out of control gambling, out of their prime athletes bent on banging as many white women as possible while still defying the odds and somehow not contracting the HIV virus like their boy Magic.
It'l work I tell you. Don't be like Mike...sign a prenup that is actually in your favor. Dumbass.
Link to the Times UK Story
Who knows what volume of the Constitutional we're at. Gotta be in the 20s I think. Anyway, the Deuce has gone through a little change over in look. Hope you kids all like it. Sadly we've been busy in our respective lives outside of the Deuce to post a ton lately. Mustafa's got no internet in his new abode yet, Trapper doesn't have time at all with his job, and myself, Chimp, have been busy with work and life all round. Excuses all around, but we'll be back to normal this week with any luck to bring all of you some more stupid shit from our collective rounds on the net. For now...Welcome to the Constitutional.
This is Suge Knight at last Saturday's USC football game. There is nothing good that can come out of Suge Knight roaming the sidelines of a collegiate football team. How did he get on to the field, does USC not know he's a convicted felon with many connections to Los Angeles gangs? Who owes this man money? Which students are being bought off with cars, women and straight cash homie? After the game, do Suge and Pete Carroll light up a spliff and laugh about which chickenhead cheerleaders they're going to nail that night?
The LA Times wants to know why he's on the sidelines as well. They've set up a poll to get to the bottom of it. The NCAA should jump into a giant investigation to figure out what connection Suge has with this team. It just cannot be good.
Luckily, having Suge in a pseudo sports story allows us to dip back into the Death Row Records archives for your listening enjoyment. Dre Day, what a classic song and video.
Yet more proof that Beer is sent from the Gods for us here to all enjoy. It turns out that our favorite frothy beverage can help someone who has sweat regain liquid better than water. Some wise Spanish scientists just figured this out.
The bubbles help to quench thirst and the carbohydrate in beer help replace lost calories. The study results came from testing 25 college students asked to do strenuous exercises in 104-degree temperatures. They were then split into two groups, one given beer and other water to help them recover. The tests were conducted over several months. The hydration effect in those who drank beer was "slightly better" than those who drank water, said study leader, professor Manuel Garzon of Granada University.
Amazing huh? Basically, to hell with drinking water, gatorade, powerade, vitamin water or any of that other new fangled, electrolyte giving drinks!! Just go with the old standard, BEER. I mean really, it worked for Babe Ruth?
I know a few security guards and I find most of them all to be extremely reliable sources of knowledge. I've found out how the NFL was fixed, how you can always win you play the right slot machines the right way in the right places in Atlantic City, and how to get a woman to do exactly what you say whenever you want. Basically, I always trust what a security guard has to say, so I trust this man who says that the Colts actually do pipe in crowd noise at the RCA Dome.
WBZ Photojournalist Bryan Foley says an unidentified RCA Dome security guard told him Sunday that the Colts do enhance the crowd noise. The guard said:
"I don't know if you know this, but they actually pick up the crowd noise and pump it back through the P.A."
To further their case, apparent sonics expert, the aforementioned Bryan Foley (pictured right) himself says this:He was covering the game for WBZ-TV and claims the noise in the RCA Dome was deafening when the Patriots had the ball.Well there you have it. Obviously the Indianapolis Colts cheat. A photographer and a security guard themselves have indisputable proof! Its certainly not possible the crowd was actually really loud and the fact that sound is trapped inside a dome makes it sound deafening. No...not at all. Get them on the fuckin bat-phone to Roger Goodell, STAT!
"It was almost silent when the Colts had the ball," he said.
So if you had not noticed, we've changed it up here a little bit at the Deuce. The poo is gone, we have 3 columns, and our limited photoshop skills have given us this new, quite rough logo. If anyone has any photoshop skills and wants to improve it, email us (mail [at] deuceofdavenport [dot] com) your vision of the Deuce of Davenport logo. You'll get full credit and maybe we'll send you something crappy for your trouble. In the meantime, enjoy your new, shit free Deuce.
Step right up boys and girls and open your eyes and ears to learn what Joe Gibbs is really saying when he whips out his many many clichés when describing your Washington Redskins. Gibbsese is a difficult language to understand at times, but the Deuce has deciphered the true meaning behind his many catchy phrases.
"Core Redskins" = Players we have this year, that took a less money for some reason to stay loyal to the team (example: Ladell Betts), suckers!!!; or, players we have this year that we want to take a pay cut to stay on the team for no reason other than our messed up salary cap situation (example: Mark Brunell), SUCKERS!!!
"Fight our guts out" = It was a really poorly called and executed game, but somehow we pulled that victory out of our collective asses.
"We have a lot of pride" = We really think we've assembled a fine collection of football players and think we're much better than we are which is inevitably going to be our downfall. [Pride is the original and most deadly of the 7 deadly sins. A religious man like Gibbs must know this. Pride caused Satan's fall from Heaven. Pride is one of the reasons they suck.]
"A learning experience" = The quarterback has yet to start a full year and we trust him less than other teams (example: Cowboys/Romo, Jets/Clemens, Bills/Edwards, etc.) trust their young quarterbacks because he has a nasty habit of overthrowing everyone, on every route. Short, deep, intermediate, it doesn't matter, the ball is high and far away from our midget receivers. He will gain valuable experience in learning to hand the ball off effectively until he fixes that cannon arm of his.
"Redskins Football" = As in, "That's more the look of what I envision Redskin football to be." Redskins football appears to be 1) handicap Al Saunders' play calling style by 2) running the ball as much as a football team can while throwing passes no longer than 5 yards for maximum offensive ineptitude. Example, running the same rushing play 15 times and praying the defense doesn't catch on or cannot stop it. All this is done to hide the fact that the receivers are average at best when healthy and that the quarterback is not to be trusted to make a play...not that the receivers will help him to do so.
"Back to the look we'd like to have on offense" = We're gonna run that damn ball down their throat until they stop it or we run out of backs to carry the ball. It worked in the 80s right? Surely it must work now!; See, 'Redskins Football'.
After that 38 to 7 raping that the Steelers gave the Ravens, Ray Lewis tried to put a positive spin on the game. "It ain't hard to correct what's wrong. Just don't turn the ball over and make people beat us," linebacker Ray Lewis said. "They got the ball four times inside the 30. You can't do that and play championship football."
Losing like this must make Ray long for the good ole days, like when he won a super bowl. Sadly, even that was a bitter victory since Trent Dilfer went to Disney World and not he even though he got the Super Bowl MVP. That snub did open the door for this, he had his own Disney cartoon movie. Oh you missed that? Well enjoy...
Wow. I mean wow. Frank Gifford looks like a Batman villain or the Thing or some sorta Marvel or DC comics character. What the hell happened here? Someone has to tell Giff to stop with the plastic surgery and start with the dermatology. Ex-football players are not supposed to look this stretched out unless your name is Burt Reynolds. Jesus...wait, wait I got it. I know who he reminds me of now.
Bingo
From Dlisted
You don't have this guy's intestinal fortitude.
If you missed this past weekend's NFL action, here's all you need to know to look really impressive this Monday at the office water cooler.
Liverpool fans will ramble on about all the class and history they have even though they've been branded the worst fans in Europe by UEFA. They try to roll ambulances with patients in them, start riots and rob their own players.
It's certainly no surprise that another Liverpool player has been victimized. The surprise comes at the level of sophistication. Usually Scousers smash and grab. They stick with robbing houses and stealing hubcaps. This time, we could be in for some identity theft. Perhaps we can't put this on them. It's a bit complicated.
Liverpool defender John Arne Riise's payslip was made public and now anyone interested can know exactly what he makes in addition to personal information such as his home address and national insurance number.
The Norwegian defender will be concerned that his home address has been released given that four of his Liverpool team-mates, José Manuel Reina, Peter Crouch, Jerzy Dudek and Daniel Agger have been burgled this year.The slip appeared on several football fan forums and show the breakdown in pay in addition to his student loan payments. Pay for work and loan payments. That's sure to piss off any real Scouser!
I suppose this would almost qualify as a free ad but it's too good to pass up. A friend of the Deuce found this ad on Craigslist yesterday. Apparently Dexter Manley will pay your November and December rent if you rent an apartment this weekend.
Stop by this Saturday between 1-3 and meet Redskin Hall of Fame Defensive End Dexter Manley! Dexter will give you FREE RENT UNTIL JANUARY 2008 if you rent this weekend! You can also enter a drawing to win an official AUTOGRAPHED NFL Throwback Jersey, Football and Autographed Pictures! Some restrictions apply!Dexter looks awfully happy in the picture above. Can't say I blame him. Going from illiterate to paying everyone's rent is truly an American success story. I hope he read the small print on his contract with the management company. If he's not careful, he'll end up actually paying the rent for anyone that rents this weekend.
Alex Zanadrdi don't play. He's not about that fake studio gangsta b.s.
In case you don't remember Zanardi, here's a video clip of his last CART race in 2001.
In case you don't speak German, he managed to walk away from the crash and fly himself to the hospital in his personal helicopter. Oh, never mind. He lost both legs but he managed to survive and return to racing on the World Touring Car Championship circuit.
This Sunday, Zanardi's racing in the New York City Marathon. He's competing in the handcycle division. He's only doing it to prove a point.
Race car driver Alex Zanardi was chatting with a manager at a pasta manufacturer he endorses about getting involved with the New York City Marathon, for which the company, Barilla, sponsors a prerace dinner. Zanardi, who lost both legs in a horrific crash during a 2001 race, quipped that he could compete in the marathon.
Silence. Then the manager said, "You're crazy."
"Up to that point, I was just joking. When he told me I couldn't do something," Zanardi said, "in my head, it's 'You've got to prove it now."'
Chelsea never makes anything easy. How do you blow a Premiership team out by six goals then come back and almost lose to a lower division team? Why can't they take my blood pressure under consideration? Me and my peoples already have enough going against us. Sickle cell, genetic predisposition to chicken, high blood pressure, crazy white boys, etc.
Chelsea's just piling on.
