All Michael Vick Wants For Christmas Is A New Puppy

“Aw who’s the puppy for? Who? Hmmm … No dog for you!”

So much for having people pay more attention to his play on the field. Michael Vick confessed to wanting a new dog.

Vick sat down with NBC News and and admitted he wanted a new dog to help with his “rehabilitation process”.

Vick said, “I would love to get another dog in the future. I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process.

“I think just to have a pet in my household and to show people that I genuinely care, and my love and my passion for animals; I think it would be outstanding. If I ever have the opportunity again I will never take it for granted. I miss having a dog right now. I wish I could. My daughters miss having one, and that’s the hardest thing: telling them that we can’t have one because of my actions.”

It’s like the Obama press conference where he was talking about health care and then decided to give his thoughts on Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s confrontation with the police. “No! Don’t go there! Not now! Aw damn, he went there…” Everyone forgot everything else he was talking about the rest of the time.

It probably isn’t the best time for Vick to bring up wanting a new dog. People have finally started to talk about him only in relation to his play on the field. He should stick to talking football and his work with animal rights organizations if the conversation goes there.

It’s almost impossible to have a rational conversation about Vick with “dog lovers”. As far as they’re concerned, Vick shouldn’t be allowed to have a career let alone walk the streets. It doesn’t matter to them that he served his time and has kept himself out of trouble since his release from jail. Any attempt to say otherwise means that you hate dogs or approve of what Vick did. That’s ridiculous. No sane person condones what Vick did. It was disgusting and horrible. He deserved to pay for what he did. He also deserves a second chance and it’s not up to any of us to determine what he should and shouldn’t be able to do as long as he keeps his nose clean. Fine. Dog catcher is out.

The debate over Vick goes to the larger question of what rights felons should have after their release from prison. If they serve their time, they should be given the chance to become productive members of society with the rights everyone else enjoys. The idea is that they’ve learned from their incarceration and are in the process of rehabilitation. The justice system fails inmates in numerous ways but people should be given the chance to show whether they’ve changed or not. Obviously there are exceptions and caveats but that conversation is for another day.

People can argue about whether Vick’s punishment was harsh enough and whether he’s sincere about changing who he is as a person as well as his attitude towards animals. One can only hope that he means what he says. Do I feel comfortable with the idea of him owning a dog so soon after his crimes after everything I’ve said? At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, no. It’s too soon however I also realize that it’s not up to me to determine when the time is right if it ever is. I equate it to not allowing child molesters around children even after they’ve served their time. It’s not something that is turned on and off like a switch. It goes deeper than that. Does the urge to be that way ever go away? I don’t think so but who knows. Better safe than sorry in some cases. At least he realizes that he can’t and probably shouldn’t have a dog for the foreseeable future.

The one thing we can say for sure is that going to prison made Vick a much better quarterback. That boy good and not terrible.

The full interview will be posted on later today.

Who can forget Joel Monaghan? It seems like it was just last week when he was letting a dog blow him. Oh that’s right. It was last week. As you might imagine, his team wants nothing to do with him. Luckily for him, Super League teams are cool with bestiality.

London-based Harlequins of the Super League are interested in signing Monaghan after he resigned from the Canberra Raiders after pictures of him being blown by a dog were released on the internet.

Harlequins are favourites to sign Joel Monaghan after the disgraced centre announced he would be continuing his career in Super League.

Monaghan admitted that he would look to continue his career in Super League, where his older brother Michael plays with Warrington. His agent, Jim Banaghan, has already made contact with several clubs.

Quins have been linked with the player, though a spokesperson said: “I can confirm we haven’t had any direct contact with Joel.”

So that means he’ll be signed tomorrow or they’ve never heard of him. Glad that’s clear.

You know you’ve messed up when you have to leave Australia for something that isn’t even a crime down under. The closest example is probably Gary Glitter getting kicked out of Thailand for being too good of a pedophile. “Yeah we’re normally cool with it but you’re putting a lot of Germans and Irish out of business the way you run through our kids. Try Vietnam instead.”

Maybe Monaghan and Michael Vick can start their own support group. Then again Vick might suggest killing the dog that blew him for being a snitch. Never mind.

Me and Chicken Little Have Something in Common

The sky is falling, okay it isn’t.  But, I have been gone a while so I feel like being dramatic.   I have been waiting, looking forward to, and longing for this football season for a long time.  Let’s just say I had a rough summer.  Then, fall arrived, and with it came pre-season rankings, fantasy football drafts, and fresh starts for every football team- fantasy, NFL, and college alike. 

If you’re anything like me, you obsess about this new beginning.  Every coaching hire, every acquisition, every rank.  Then, your fantasy draft day arrives and with it not long after week one making you realize, as i did, that most of the ranking and the research meant nothing.  It was all names on paper, whatever the media and teams felt like sharing, and some knowledgeable guesswork. 

It’s always this way to a degree.  But, this year, unlike others in recent memory, predictions and educated guesses were all thrown out the window.  The 49ers were supposed to be the popular upside pick on the rise, right?  The Cowboys are supposed to make it to the Superbowl being held in their own stadium.  This had to be the year the talent on paper showed up on the field in week 1.  The Chiefs and the Bucs couldn’t be all that good, could they?  Tomlinson couldn’t have enough juice left in his legs to cast a shadow on Shonn Greene. 

But then the Cowboys lost 2 in a row, Green was showed up by the supposedly washed up LT, the Chiefs were 2-0, and then, to top it off, Peyton Hillis scored 32 fantasy points against the Ravens, who hadn’t given up a rushing TD in either 2 previous games this season, while riding my bench in week 3.  While I know I am not alone, when it fell on top of MY head, I really felt it.  This season there seems to be some awful football being played.  Or is it just me?  I am not saying there isn’t any quality football being played.  I am simply saying that I am shocked at the level, and amount, of mediocrity. 

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that injuries are reigning over the NFL, leaving those with Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, Andre Johnson, Mike Turner, or pretty much anyone playing QB for the Eagles, to begin the drop/add waiver wire game, or the handcuff game, that all of us as fantasy managers, and more importantly those working in front offices, know so well. The high ankle sprains, toe injuries, groin issues, and NO, I am not referring to the Kansas City junk grabbing week 1 and 2 drama, have probably touched most of us at this point, pun intended. 

But injuries aren’t to blame everywhere and some things could have been predicted.  The Cowboys were just overrated.  Again.  I don’t care if they beat the Texans.  Marion Barber and Felix Jones should be tearing it up.  They should not wait until their coaches job is on the line, again, to win a game.  Peyton is dominating and it doesn’t matter who is on the field catching the ball when he’s the one throwing it.   He finds a way for his team to win.  The Chargers are, once again, having a slow start despite Rivers throwing for over 300 yards.   Arizona is bad. 

A psychic in the East Village could have “predicted” these things for a $5 palm reading.  But, other things, not so much.  Mike Martz and Jay Cutler seem to be in love.  Vick got the starting job a day after Andy Reid assured us Kolb was his man, which wasn’t long after he traded his franchise QB to a division rival making everyone really believe Kolb was his man.  The Rams, and their fans, have to be looking forward to the many wins they now have to know are coming this decade.  Ben Roethlisberger?  Who?   The Steelers don’t need a pro bowl QB with a super bowl ring to win games.  It seems any guy off the street can play QB for them.  Hey!  Hey, you!  Want to play quarterback for the Steelers?  Big Ben is no longer needed and the way Pittsburgh fans were feeling about Roethlisberger before they were winning without him might just lead to him losing his starting gig.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they start him immediately but, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t.  They are one of the only teams in football I would say this about, we all know what the Jets would do

After three weeks of football season I have been wondering what some of these teams were doing this off season?  For example, I know the NFL has become a run by committee league.  But, really, someone should have told the brilliant mind of Bill Belichick that even 3 brittle mediocre RBs would not lead to a running game other teams would fear.  Especially when your star wide receiver is getting older.  Still talented, no doubt, but older.  Minnesota really did put all their eggs in Farve’s basket.  How’s that working out for them?  Working out in the local high school stadium is not the same as training camp it seems.  I, for one, am shocked to learn this. 

Many teams seem to have ignored, or could not manage to aqcuire the talent needed to fill their holes.  The Saints, Patriots, Jaguars, Giants, Cowboys, and there are more teams I am omitting, have clear personnel problems, or lack of personnel causing problems, costing games, and possibly costing some teams their whole season. 

I can say from experience that it is awful to realize only 3 weeks into the season that the season already appears over for the team you root for.  Take solice in the fact that if One Tree Hill can manage to stay on the air for this long, there has to be some way those in this position can get passed the frustration and keep watching football on Sundays without throwing the new 55″ LED LCD television you purchased right before this season started out the window, right?  I mean, there’s still a fantasy team to manage and picks to make at least, right? 

There has to be something that can be learned from all this. So, in no particular order, here is what I learned, or learned before but forgot and then quickly remembered, in no particular order.

  • Handcuffs are worth the bench space.  I don’t care that there are reports Ray Rice is walking without a limp and is reporting he feels fine.  The MRI results haven’t been announced yet.  He’s on my fantasy team and I already picked up McGahee.  If I owned Mike Turner, I would own Jason Snelling too.  There always has to be someone you can drop.  Like, for example, Eddie Royal.  Just like last season, he’s an unpredictable tease.  I am sure there’s an Eddie Royal or a Shonn Greene on your roster just waiting to be dropped.  Then again, the week you drop them is always the week they break out.  Don’t worry if it happens, they’ll be back to tease and break someone else’s heart the week after.
  • The NFL is insane to be thinking about expanding to 18 games while also adding restrictions to off season work-outs.  The green, oh, I’m sorry, I meant the greed, is messing with their heads.  If Steven jackson, Andre Johnson, Mike Turner, Ray Rice, and the many concussions haven’t convinced them this is an awful idea, nothing will.  I blame the monkey commercials.  People really do want to see 2 more weeks of monkey commercials. 
  • A great coach and/or a great defense can win games.  No prolific running, or passing, game is required. 
  • An internal team turmoil that we can see is present, but will never really be fully reported, can kill a season.  Just watch the Giants yelling right behind Coughlin on the side lines.
  • Unless you are Peyton Manning, one player cannot carry an entire team for an entire season.  Sorry Drew Brees.  Any comparisons to Peyton should just stop.  There were other greats, there are other greats, there will be other greats.  But, he isn’t just great. 

So, if you’ve already given up on your team for the season, there’s always fantasy, or an underdog team you can’t help but enjoy watching win.  And, if that isn’t enough for you, keep in mind that next year there might not be any football to watch (wow, it seems I turned 30 and started actually becoming my mother, perspective and all).

Reading Between the Headlines

You may not have noticed, but the Summer of 2010 was pretty good to the Deuce.  Flush with blogger money and ready to reward myself for a summer of besmirching the legend of Tony Reali, I finally decided to ante up for the Red Zone Package, which at $6.99 month was a bit pricey (remember, we’re talking blogger dollars here, ok?) but hey, when Sports Illustrated links to your article about being old, I think it’s time to celebrate, right?  Well, that and I split it with a roommate.  So really, it’s like $4 a month (hey, this ain’t Deadspin). Read the rest of this entry