His father is a drug dealer. His mother is a shoplifter. He’ll sleep with your woman. His brother will too except he’ll take it one step further and give it to her while you’re in the same house. It’s just another day for the Terry family.

Rushden and Diamonds keeper Dale Roberts hung himself months after his fiancée Lindsay Cowen left him for his former teammate, Paul Terry. Paul is the older brother of Chelsea and former England captain John Terry.

The affair took place earlier this year while Terry was staying with the couple.

Lindsey admitted the affair when a suspicious Dale confronted her at their home in Higham Ferrers, Northants. A source said: “Lindsey came out and told Dale what had been happening. He was horrified.

“Dale rang Paul and he denied everything but he’s admitted to other players that he’s been sleeping with her.”

Heartbroken Dale, 24, said yesterday: “It’s true, she told me she’d been seeing Paul.

“We’ve split up. I’m trying to get my head around it all, it’s only just happened. I’m a bit messed up.”

“It is bad enough she’s done it at all but the fact that it is with him, one of my team-mates, makes it that much harder to bear.”

Rushden and Diamonds was forced to release Terry after Roberts and the rest of the team refused to play with him.

Roberts fell into a deep depression and never recovered after Cowan left him. He was discovered in his house and word of his death spread quickly through the team. Rushden and Diamonds’ next two matches were called off and have yet to be rescheduled.

Cowan had the audacity to release a statement claiming that she was devastated over his death.

[She] described the 24 year-old as ”my childhood sweetheart and the love of my life”.

”We had been together since a young age and I will never get over his death.”

That should comfort Roberts’ parents and friends. If that’s how she treats the love of her life, I’d hate to see how she does her enemies. How about not fucking your finance’s friends and teammates?

Anything the Terry family touches is bound to be a disaster and I’m saying this as a long time Chelsea supporter. I’ll take John Terry in my back four but I’ll never turn my back on him or anyone else in his family. A friend of mine pointed out that he “causes more contagious misery than ebola”. She also noted that if you play Six Degrees of John Terry, you can link him to everything bad that happens in the world.

“John Terry works for Roman Abramovich…. who hangs out with Vladimir Putin…. who carpet bombed 200,000 Chechens to death. Oops looky there, only 3 degrees between JT and genocide.”

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is old and busted. Try it out. It’s scary how well the game works.

How about the softer side of Vladmir Putin? He can’t be killing all the time. Here he is chilling out with some friends and singing Blueberry Hill backed up by Maceo Parker. What? Exactly.

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