Orioles Magic Archives

Go big or go home appears to be the motto for Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic this season.  They have played 3 games so far this season, they are 2-1, and none of the games have been close.

In their two wins, they’ve won by margins of 29 and 42 points.  In their one loss, they lost by 26 points. Granted, in their two wins they’ve played the rebuilding Washington Wizards and Minnesota Timberwolves and in their one loss they got manhandled by the pre-season champion Miami Heat but which team is this Orlando squad?

Is this going to be the trend for them all season?  Feasting upon the NBA Eastern Conference bottom feeders while getting dominated by the league’s elite teams?  This team is supposed to be in contention for the championship this season and dominating these undermanned squads are exactly what title teams should do but are they really good enough to handle the Heat, Lakers and Celtics of the world?

It might take some time to find this out since their next major test isn’t until around thanksgiving when they play the Heat again, unless you count the 5-0 and much improved Atlanta Hawks as a true test…which they really shouldn’t be.

My guess is no, they Magic aren’t quite ready for the title yet. I am thinking the Magic will continue to feast upon teams that have no big man that can handle the likes of Dwight Howard and/or no defensive skills adept enough to handle the way the Magic spread the court with their 3 point field goals…which is pretty much most of the East.  While against the more talented NBA teams, this 2 trick pony of a team can and will be shut down just like we saw against the Heat and in the playoffs last season.

I mean, who actually expects Vince Carter to last an entire season at 33 years old? C’mon now, he is due.

The Orioles Are Leo Mazzone’s Roadkill

Football is dead to me after Willis McGahee and the Ravens were debacled by the Steelers on Sunday night. McGahee’s illegitimate kids can rest easy. Their dad is alright although he probably has a lingering headache. Bring back the Mark Kelso helmet!

Now that football season is effectively over, I have to look elsewhere for sporting satisfaction. Baseball season is almost upon us but I’m an Orioles fan (I so wish I wasn’t) so I have nothing to look forward to except another season of mediocrity and straight doo-doo from the pitching staff. Think I’m being overdramatic? Ask Leo Mazzone about the Orioles organization.

“If I had to do it all over again, I would have never done it,” said Leo Mazzone, mostly a national television analyst on baseball these days, reflecting from his home in Roswell. He inherited a bunch of soft pitchers in Baltimore who couldn’t adjust to his hard but effective style. He was booted after two seasons.

To hear Mazzone tell it, his firing was a relief. “Once I got there and saw how they operated compared to the Braves, I knew I made a mistake the first week of spring training,” he said, before chuckling and adding, “I said to myself, ‘You know what? I done messed up.’

“The lack of organization. The lack of discipline. The lack of overall professionalism. I was shocked, and I couldn’t believe it.”

He didn’t just throw the Orioles under the bus. He drove it over them several times. Orioles fans shouldn’t waste time getting mad at him. Daniel Cabrera probably disagrees but the results speak for themselves. The pitching staff is inhabited by pitchers who show flashes of brilliance followed by sustained periods of inexplicable self-destruction. Andy MacPhail really hasn’t done anything to address this but last year’s Erik Bedard trade (which resulted in some nice pickups including All-Star George Sherrill and Adam Jones) and the imminent resigning of Nick Markakis will fool me into thinking things are changing until the inevitable summer collapse. Where are Lenn Sakata, John Lowenstein and Tito Landrum when you need them? Orioles Magic. Feel it happen.

O-R-I-O-L-E-S! This song will never leave me.

Orioles Magic Doesn’t Work On Jesus Day

The Orioles have already exceeded the expectations of their fans this season. I should probably speak for myself. Yes, they’re in last place but it’s not a strong last place. The pitching and offense are much better than expected. However, there’s one hurdle the O’s can’t seem to jump.

Jesus Quintana was right. Nobody fucks with the Jesus (NSFW - language). The Orioles can’t win on Sundays. No one seems to know why and the team is getting desperate. Jay Payton is even considering animal sacrifice.

“We should just quit playing on Sundays and we’ll be in first place,” Jay Payton said. “It’s just one of those stats. Maybe we need to cut the head off a monkey or something to switch it up. I think it’s usually a chicken, but I’m thinking maybe a monkey would work. But that’s animal cruelty. I wouldn’t do that.”

I bet Ramon Hernandez or Kevin Millar wouldn’t hesitate. Aubrey Huff’s the utility guy. Animal sacrifice must fall under the utility designation although he’d probably say that’s horseshit.

** Sorry about the imbedded crap on the video but every clean version has been taken down or has no sound.

Orioles Magic: Feel It Happen

I’m still a bit troubled by the Baltimore Orioles start. I don’t want to believe because they let me down every year after getting off to a hot start. This season does seem different so far. Maybe it’s because they brought back Orioles Magic.

I’m not going to front. I’ve loved this song since I used to watch the O’s at Memorial Stadium. Let’s see Chimp Rage pull a Nats song out of his ass to match this old hotness. Yeah that’s right. He can’t. However if they get Paul Lo Duca, Elijah Dukes, Da Meat Hook, Lastings Milledge and Jesus Flores to collaborate, Orioles Magic could have some competition.