H/T to Inside Hoops

When you get dumped, there are usually a few steps one goes through before they can get over being kicked to the curb.  Hell, most of these stages are the main reason why Facebook exists.  In any case, it is completely understandable why Dan Gilbert is struggling with losing LeBron.  And although five months have passed, he’s still not there yet.  The Five Stages of Getting Over Your Break-Up, applied to Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert: Read the rest of this entry

The man sitting next to Michael Jordan in the picture above is legendary sneaker designer Tinker Hatfield.  Take one look at Hatfield’s portfolio and you will quickly surmise he is responsible for some of the most iconic sneaker designs of all time.  Naturally, when Nike signed Jordan’s heir apparel apparent LeBron James, they assigned Hatfield to King James in order to develop the next line of legendary basketball shoes.  Just like Mike, right?  Well, not exactly.

Apparently, Hatfield jumped off the LeBron account because of the entourage Bron-Bron surrounded himself with (skip to 1:30):

Money quote [sic'd]:

Tinker stated that he used to work on the signature lines of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James; however, in regards to LeBron, he said, “I used to work on LeBron’s [shoe line], until his entourage kind of pissed me off.” He later stated that LeBron was ‘cool’ but his entourage is obviously Hatfield’s problem.

Now, let’s keep in mind that LeBron’s line of shoes and apparel do pretty well without Hatfield on board: the eighth edition of his shoe released last week with a $160 price tag and there is no doubt they’ll sell well.  However, none of the previous seven versions of his shoe have reached iconic status like Jordan’s — leading one to wonder if things might be different with someone like Hatfield on board.

Regardless of what LeBron’s biggest detractors have said about him, there isn’t much disagreement about the effort he puts in to becoming the best player he can be on the court.  However, Hatfield’s comments, taken within the context of “The Decision,” tend to make me think he could stand to put at least half as much effort in selecting the people he has represent him off the court.

(h/t to Nice Kicks)

Was there a major upset in hockey this week?  I must’ve missed it.

• Eminem name checks Ben Roethlisberger in his new song, “Despicable.”

• Camden Yards in Baltimore is undergoing a renovation.

• Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland was criticized for asking draft prospect Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute.

• Tiger Woods struggled in the first round of the Quail Hollow Championship, shooting a 2-over par 74. 

• At 17-5 the Tampa Bay Rays are the best team in baseball.

• LeBron James has reportedly won his second straight Most Valuable Player award.

Sometimes I think sports are a lot like little kids; they always want attention, even if it makes them do something really stupid.  I know that consciously, professional football players would never purposefully sexually assault a young woman, throw a drink on her, or even carry a loaded gun to the airport.  But part of my subconscious wonders if they just can’t stand the fact that NCAA basketball and Major League Baseball are stealing all the attention so this is their way of getting it back.  Ok, I know that’s a stretch, but there has to be a reason to explain away this stupidity.  Oh wait, it’s called “Young Dummies with Money” syndrome or YDMS.  Did I just invent that?  Well, color me Bill freakin’ Simmons.  Now, a 20,000 word missive comparing the 2007 Patriots to some jackass on the Real World. 

Nah, we’ll just do headlines…  

• ESPN celebrated the launch of ESPN New York.

Also known as “ESPN.”  How was this even a challenge for them?  Did they just pay some guy to create a NYC skyline graphic and put it up?  And at what point will we get ESPN Des Moines?  And will I ever write another sentence that isn’t a rhetorical question?

• LaDainian Tomlinson attempted to blame his lack of production in San Diego on Norv Turner’s offensive scheme.

"If 'dis freakin' guy don't sign my bawl, I'm gonna chuck it at his groin over here." AKA, "ESPN New York target audience."

Now LT has something in common with Heath Shuler.  Not sure if that’s what he was looking for, though.  To borrow a phrase from Thomas Hobbes (is this a great sports blog, or what?), the life of a NFL running back is “nasty, brutish, and short.”  In 2008, LT carried the ball only 23 less times than in 2007 (his last great season) and had 364 fewer yards.  That’s a big drop-off.

I’m happy that everyone is ok, but sorry Mom, that’s what you get for naming your kid, “Denard.”  It always amazes me that more people haven’t gotten hurt at baseball games.  This sounds like a job for ESPN Des Moines.

• ESPN had six of its basketball writers scrutinize the factors that may lead LeBron James to finding a new home this summer.

Hey, check me out!  I did the same thing!  Here’s my list of factors:

1. $

Let me double check the list, one more time, just to be sure:

1. $

 And I’mmmmmm spent.  ESPN, call me!

• Cleveland Browns nose tackle Shaun Rogers was arrested for carrying a loaded .45-caliber hand gun at a Cleveland Airport.

 I don’t understand the big deal — maybe he was there to shoot birds.  Has anyone asked him that?

• The University of Alabama will unveil a Nick Saban statue outside the school’s football stadium.

How do you convey “pompous” and “insane” into a statue?

• A Washington DC high school hired a female teacher as its new varsity head football coach.

And at a private school just outside of Houston, Roger Clemens applied to coach the women’s softball team.

• The final PECOTA projections were released for the 2010 baseball season.

And somewhere, VORPies gather to collectively mock the tsunami of enraged fans inhabiting the ESPN comment section   Hey guys, you’re getting angry at a math formula.  Isn’t that what 3^rd graders do? 

• Hulk Hogan was so depressed after his divorce that he took a bunch of pills and rum.

Lindsay Lohan is not impressed.  She calls those “Tuesdays.”

Boom. Roasted.

In any case, baseball season is here.  I cannot wait.