Former Sun, Laker, Raptor, Maverick and Piston Cedric Ceballos hasn’t been in the news much lately since his retirement from the NBA in 2001, but yesterday changed all that when it came out that Ceballos survived “a series of small heart attacks” and luckily cheated death. Here’s what the former All-Star’s publicist had to say about the event:
Crystal Guy[publicist] says Ceballos, a former NBA All-Star, was scheduled to undergo surgery in Phoenix.
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The 42-year-old Ceballos issued a statement saying how fortunate he was to have decided to have his symptoms checked out at a hospital Sunday. Ceballos thanked all who called in support but the family asked for privacy at this time.
How baller is Cedric Ceballos? This is a man that just “decided” to go get himself “checked out” after SURVIVING multiple heart attacks. No AMBER LAMPS for him. That is the definition of ballerhood right there, (well that and congestive heart disease probably, but i digress). I’d like to see some wannabe sucka ballers do that! You youngins might not remember how badass Ceballos was…luckily, I am here to remind you.
I haven’t had any interest in watching Dancing with the Stars. The only times I’ve been seen it are when I’ve been forced to watch it by a significant other or my mom. Don’t tell me I don’t understand Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib detainees. I feel their pain like one of the Crimson Twins. I was willing to sell my family and friends up the river for a reprieve after only a few minutes. All that being said, my attitude could change towards the show if reports about next season come to fruition.
Nothing’s official yet — but sources tell us, both Artest and “Dancing” producers have been in touch to hash out a possible deal … and Ron’s pretty excited about the prospect.
But here’s the catch — “Dancing” won’t end ’til November and basketball season typically starts in October … which means if the lockout ends early, Ron could be S.O.L.
That said, Ron could theoretically handle both commitments simultaneously — because as TMZ first reported, “Dancing” producers are desperate for A-list talent … so there will be NO minimum rehearsal requirement next season.
Oh please let this happen. Artest may have changed his name to Metta World Peace but don’t act like you couldn’t see him blowing up over a low score from one of the judges. How long into the season would we have to wait until stories start coming out about him texting pictures of his dick to his dance partner?
Who’s going to tell Artest that’s not a dance move? Will he insist that they dance to one of his own tracks?
Hines Ward had Jerome Bettis or Franco Harris present to cheer him on. I don’t even know which one was be there. Artest would find some crazy fool to represent for him. I’d love to see a chimp in a Lakers jersey and Rec-Specs (shout out to Rambis) in the crowd every week. Maybe AC Green could show up and sit uncomfortably while the couples grind up on each other. You gotta feel sorry for his wife. His load probably blew her back out after being pent up for so long. She’s probably in physical therapy to this day.
Anyway, Artest on DWTS needs to happen. They might want to continue with the crazy and think bigger. Imagine deposed dictators as contestants. Too bad Saddam Hussein and Idi Amin are dead. They would be perfect. Warlords would make for great viewing. Some former Congolese rebel leader who eats chimps and people or a former Serbian general would liven things up. Don’t waste your time contacting your Congressperson about the debt ceiling. They’re all assclowns and you know it. Phone, email, fax or carrier raven ABC and tell them to get on board with this hotness.
Las Vegas awarded the keys of the city to Ron Artest for his charity work dealing with mental health issues. The LA Times’ Lakers Blog reports:
He’s earning recognition at the Mirage Hotel for … his work with Xcel University, which works with community centers and schools to identify high-risk students, and the Mental Health in Schools Act, which would provide $200 million in grant funding to support mental health issues should it pass Congress when it’s reintroduced in February 2011.
Oh good lord, Vegas. What have you done? There’s the issue of what Artest should do with the keys now that he has them. He’s undecided so far but he does have some ideas.
Giving them to Kobe Bryant or Derek Fisher is a nonstarter. Kobe would just break into hotels and sexually assault homely staff members while Tiger Woods watches. Think of Charlie Murphy in the Mad Real World. He might also consider starting a one man Vegas show to showcase his rapping skills. No one wants that.
Derek Fisher would probably do something for charity. That’s laudable but not epic enough for our purposes. If Artest wants to amuse us and continue to give back, he should give Oliver Miller the keys when he goes to sleep so he can after hours every buffett on the strip.
“I’ll probably just walk in everybody’s home,” Artest said after practice Tuesday at the Lakers’ facility in El Segundo. “I’ll go to Floyd Mayweather’s house first and put on some of his jewelry.”
If Artest wants to walk around with jewelry, he should stay the hell away from Javon Walker if he wants to keep it.
Pacman Jones seems to have rehabilitated himself. Maybe he should hold on to the keys to show that he’s a changed man. He can also let himself out of handcuffs or jail when he’s detained or arrested for something he didn’t do.
Forget a duet with Celine Dion. R Kelly already did that and she probably smells like piss and Kuma’s now. You know how The R rolls. What? He probably bats above the Mendoza age of consent once in a while. How about Cher? She/He could sing the hook on one of his tracks although her voice might be a little deeper than his. That won’t do much for the street cred.
We should convince him to take out Frank Caliendo. That would be worthy of the keys to Burning Man at the least.
Former Sun, Laker, Raptor, Maverick and Piston Cedric Ceballos hasn’t been in the news much lately since his retirement from the NBA in 2001, but yesterday changed all that when it came out that Ceballos survived “a series of small heart attacks” and luckily cheated death. Here’s what the former All-Star’s publicist had to say about the event:
