How many of you laughed when you heard that Dana Stubblefield took steroids during his NFL career? It was probably funnier to Redskins fans who were forced to watch him take suck to epic levels like every other big-money Synder signing. Could you blame him for lying about taking steroids? Who would have believed it? Next thing, Gilbert Brown would have claimed he was bulimic.
Stubblefield can’t quit failing and getting in trouble for it. He was sentenced to 90 days in jail for stealing his ex-girlfriend’s mail. Did we mention he’s already on probation after being nailed for lying to federal investigators during the BALCO scandal?
Stubblefield didn’t just roll up to her mailbox and take her mail as one would think. He filled out a change of address form so her mail would get delivered to him. Smooth. Her mail included unemployment checks but he was probably after those Valu-Pak direct mailers. He was hoping to get those “Buy One, Get Three Free” coupons from Domino’s. Expect Bruce Allen to sign him after his release. Someone needs to take Albert Haynesworth’s place.
UPDATE: Did you know that Stubblefield played a prisoner in the Ben Affleck tour de shart Reindeer Games? H/T to Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly for digging this up.
Stubblefield, fittingly, played a prisoner in the 2000 stinker Reindeer Games alongside Ben Affleck. During the making of that film, the former NFL great inadvertently knocked Affleck unconscious, hospitalizing him.
That’s why he got probation and 90 days as opposed to 20 years.
They coulda had that game. The Redskins were at least two dropped interceptions or several errant McNabb throws away from actually pulling out a victory from the jaws of defeat against Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. They could have beaten the Colts and their record could’ve been at 4-2. They could have still been in first place in the NFC East, leading the division against the resurgent Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda I guess.
Evidently, the Redskins’ culture of defeat will always win out in the long run.
These Redskins players are not used to any sort of continuous success and I wonder if the team just doesn’t shoot itself in the foot because of it. Maybe, and this is just me playing amateur psychologist, deep down inside, the team doesn’t think they are good enough and they subconsciously sabotage themselves when they have a chance at success.
Its become quite obvious that this team just doesn’t know how to react properly to winning, that much is for sure. This team has been in between “average” and “awful” for so long that losing permeates everything about the organization. They just cannot sustain winning and it is mind bogglingly annoying.
Mike Shanahan is trying to change the team’s mindset by coaching like he did when he won Super Bowls with Denver. Bruce Allen is trying to change it by reminding everyone that in the 1970s and 1980s the team was pretty awesome. But until they clear house of all the veterans that have been around this team for the last few years, I’m pretty sure the Redskins will not be able achieve any long term success. They will stop themselves every single time.
But, of course, you’ve heard that rallying cry before. No real news or shocking revelation there. Dump the old guys, bring in the new guys is the sad refrain that we’ve heard many times in the past few years and hopefully that will happen an offseason in the near future, but for now, this team cannot afford to throw away opportunities like they had against the Colts.
Yet, somehow, someway, these Redskins players will always do this. They figure out new and creative ways to keep throwing games and seasons away. Its in their nature and you the fan will have to just deal with it…at least until they bring in enough new players to change the mindset.
The could’ve won this week, they could’ve given themselves a better positioning for the playoffs, they could’ve been in first place, they could’ve banked a win now so that one later in the year doesn’t hurt as bad…they could’ve, but they didn’t.
Getting a moral victory here is of little solace, it means nothing at all, it is just another example of this team of losers losing yet again.
Who can forget Gus Frerotte’s finest moment in the NFL? Scoring a touchdown only to put himself out of the game by headbutting a concrete wall while celebrating. The resulting ridicule was more than one man should bear. He had to ride it out alone unlike Brett Favre who has the never-ending love and support of ESPN. He can finally relax and put this infamous incident behind him thanks to Brian Roberts. Now he can go back to shoeing goats, doing public access TV with Gino Toretta and Robin Byrd or whatever it is that he does now.
“I don’t know 100 percent sure, but it was Monday night. In frustration [after a strikeout], I whacked myself on the head with my bat in the ninth. I had my helmet on,” Roberts said. “It’s something I’ve done a million times, but I still can’t tell you for sure if that was it. But that’s the only thing that I can point to because that night and the next morning, I just didn’t feel good. So it’s been going on since then.”
Roberts’ symptoms include lightheadedness, pain, lack of balance and sensitivity to light. He underwent further testing to see whether something else could be causing them. If another cause is found, he can be assured that it won’t be Suck which affects “athletes” like Jake Delhomme and whoever plays quarterback for the Carolina Panthers.
We attempted to speak to Eric Lindros about Roberts’ situation but he was passed out in an ice rink when he went to meet him.
The zamboni driver told us that he gave himself a concussion trying to put on a hockey helmet. “I just drive around him now. He’s a fixture. I find him on the ice, in the parking lot, in the bathroom. It’s stranger for me to see him standing up. Yesterday I found him in his car. Apparently the seat belt got him.”
It’s unclear whether the concussion is affecting Roberts’ speech or whether he’s been taking interviewing lessons from Ray Lewis. “It’s been one for the memory banks, but not for the best memory bank, I guess…”
There’s a scene in the movie “Swingers” where the main character meets a girl at the bar, gets her number, then proceeds to go home and call her repeatedly – ruining any chance he had of ever getting a date with the chick. For some reason, this is what I think of every time I read about the Washington Redskins and their handling of Albert Haynesworth.
I’ll make something clear off the bat: I don’t support Haynesworth, the record-setting contract he signed in 2009, what he’s pulled the last few months and everything in between. The guy has always had a reputation for being immature, face-stomping included. So, the Redskins’ signing of Haynesworth was always a risk. Paying him millions more than anyone else offered was just stupid. However, if the Redskins, or better yet, Mike Shanahan, wanted to ensure they’d get the most out of him, they couldn’t have picked a worse way to go about it.
The balance of public opinion when it comes to financial issues between players and ownership is inherently balanced in favor of the team. For some odd reason, fans think players are completely at fault when they hold out for more money. Without getting into not-so-complex labor law, we’ll just go with that premise for now. In any case, Haynesworth gave fans every reason to dislike him: he showed up last year out-of-shape, missed a
Albert Haynesworth contemplating the choice to get some burgers, a trip to the strip club, or practice.
bunch of time, and then took $21 million from the team knowing full well he’d be asked to play nose tackle. Adding insult to injury, he skipped off-season workouts and made no secret of his desire to be traded. In the world of public opinion, the Redskins had the head of Haynesworth on a platter. They could do whatever they wanted with him.
Nevertheless, the Redskins had to screw it up. First off, after Haynesworth showed up in camp (on-time), Shanahan embarrassed him with a conditioning test that he was never going to pass. As that kept him from practicing, he fell further and further down the depth chart with a sore knee. The two-time former All-Pro spent much of preseason playing with the scrubs on the second team (and still played well, albeit against terrible competition). Oh, and then there were the “headaches.” In the team’s final exhibition game, a game usually reserved for guys on the cusp of making the team, he played almost the entire game. Now, they seek to demean him once more by somehow allowing trade talks to leak again.
One wouldn’t expect the man who was close buddies with former President George W. Bush to understand the fundamental rules of economics, but devaluing your best asset in an effort to assert your dominance is a pretty stupid idea.
The Redskins need to make a decision about what they want to do with Haynesworth and live with it. If they are happy being 7-9 without him, that’s fine, but cut the cord now: trade the player (even if it’s the Titans) and at least get something or cut him and eat the money. At this point, you’ve already embarrassed yourself beyond recognition with the way you’ve treated him and how much money you’ve wasted.
If you think Haynesworth can be motivated again, commit the organization to keeping him and try to get something out of the $32 million he’s been paid. Worst case scenario, he loafs around for a few games and makes himself look worse, which again puts the court of public opinion in your favor and allows you to cut him next year when memories of this debacle aren’t so fresh.
So it only took him 10 days and four tries but congratulations to Albert Haynesworth of the Washington Redskins for finally being in semblance of shape and passing his conditioning test. Fat Albert finally ran out of excuses after an MRI on his knee showed no real damage that would prevent him from running, so he kinda had to pass. At last our long city-wide nightmare is over.
Thankfully, now Redskins fans can worry about the 3 headed running back battle, the lack of any wide receiver under 30 starting for the team, the offensive line, McNabb learning a new offense at QB, who McNabb’s backup will be (Rex Grossman or John Beck), how strong will this defense be in a 3-4 … and more. See how much other news is out there besides Albert?
But while the corpse of this story is warm, I’d be remiss if one last parting shot wasn’t sent Albert Haynesworth’s way. Take a listen to Kirk McEwan and Mike O’Meara, from 105.9 The Edge, having a good laugh at Weird Al Haynesworth’s expense. Kirk interviewing Mike doing an impression of Albert. Enjoy!